Fatwa ID: 08878

 

 

Answered by: Maulana Yusuf Badshah

 

Question:

 

What is the role of father in sharing the responsibility of looking after the child? For example, some sister complain that a lot of brothers say they will not change the diapers of their child especially if they are in front of the family members like mother in law as it isn’t in their culture and its embarrassing.

 

What is the role of culture in such cases and what and what not should be done in such matters and how does the shariah guide us?

 

 

 

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

 

 

Answer:

 

The role of the father is to work, earn money and provide food, clothing and shelter for the family. The role of the wife is to look after the household in the husband’s absence. Beyond this, all rights and responsibilities are shared between both parents, and thus the allocation of duties is to be decided and agreed upon between the two of them [1].

 

 

As the primary caretaker it is important for the husband to bear the greater burden for his family, but neither of them should shirk their responsibilities and each should make effort to support the other. When the need arises then whoever is available at the time should change the diapers of the child, and if they cannot come to an agreement between them as to who should do so then both must bear the responsibility equally [2].

 

 

References:

 

[1] Surah An-Nisa’ 34:

{ الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَاءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَىٰ بَعْضٍ وَبِمَا أَنفَقُوا مِنْ أَمْوَالِهِمْ ۚ فَالصَّالِحَاتُ قَانِتَاتٌ حَافِظَاتٌ لِّلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ اللَّهُ … ۞}

Surah Al-Baqarah 233:

{ وَالْوَالِدَاتُ يُرْضِعْنَ أَوْلَادَهُنَّ حَوْلَيْنِ كَامِلَيْنِ ۖ لِمَنْ أَرَادَ أَن يُتِمَّ الرَّضَاعَةَ ۚ وَعَلَى الْمَوْلُودِ لَهُ رِزْقُهُنَّ وَكِسْوَتُهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ ۚ لَا تُكَلَّفُ نَفْسٌ إِلَّا وُسْعَهَا ۚ لَا تُضَارَّ وَالِدَةٌ بِوَلَدِهَا وَلَا مَوْلُودٌ لَّهُ بِوَلَدِهِ ۚ وَعَلَى الْوَارِثِ مِثْلُ ذَٰلِكَ ۗ فَإِنْ أَرَادَا فِصَالًا عَن تَرَاضٍ مِّنْهُمَا وَتَشَاوُرٍ فَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْهِمَا ۗ وَإِنْ أَرَدتُّمْ أَن تَسْتَرْضِعُوا أَوْلَادَكُمْ فَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ إِذَا سَلَّمْتُم مَّا آتَيْتُم بِالْمَعْرُوفِ ۗ وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ وَاعْلَمُوا أَنَّ اللَّهَ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ بَصِيرٌ ۞}

 

 

[2] Jami’ At-Tirmidhi 1162:

حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو كُرَيْبٍ، مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ الْعَلاَءِ حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدَةُ بْنُ سُلَيْمَانَ، عَنْ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ عَمْرٍو، حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو سَلَمَةَ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏ “‏ أَكْمَلُ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ إِيمَانًا أَحْسَنُهُمْ خُلُقًا وَخِيَارُكُمْ خِيَارُكُمْ لِنِسَائِهِمْ خُلُقًا ‏”‏

 

 

 

Only Allah s.w.t knows best.

Written by Maulana Yusuf Badshah

Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah

Darul Ifta Birmingham