Fatwa ID: 03006

Answered by: Maulana Belaal Ahmed​

Question:

Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah

I am in the process of finding a wife.  We are in the early stages of negotiations with a family.  My mother likes family and the girl.  However, we as a family have always associated with scholars from a Deobandi background, and in my youth, I spent time with the tabligh jamaat, whom I still hold in high esteem.

Our teachers have never done takfir of any other group, and we were always told to respect different interpretations such as those made by the barelwis.

In speaking to this girl, she has told me that the following is important to her:

1.Milaad
2.Khatams, her parents consistently do this every Thursday.
3.Belief in peers.

I did not ask any further questions as to whether they held the belief of the prophet being hazir/nazir etc, as I felt this was inappropriate for laypeople, and would have been rude in the context of the discussion.  However, I did tell her that we accept the Sufi tariqas, and believe in the concept of giving bay'ah to a shaykh, although I have never formally done this myself.

She did say to me that she accepts that such practices are not fardh, sunnah or wajib, and that people who do not do this are still Muslim.

I am now a little confused, as the family seems decent, the girl educated and practising, and my mother is keen, as she feels their beliefs can be accommodated.  I do not want to disobey my parents, and I know my parents will be open to my suggestions if I decide not to proceed.

However, I would be most grateful for your thoughts on marrying a barelwi?  From Your knowledge do you feel that their beliefs are absolutely incompatible with the tradition and interpretations of the school of Deoband and if so I will avoid this union?

Answer:

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

In regards to the above situation, it seems that your parents are pleased in allowing you to marry such a person, and are willing to accommodate the girl even though you may have a difference of opinion in certain matters.

Taking the above into consideration from a shar-ee perspective the nikah is permissible, however, we would discourage this union for the following reasons

1) Firstly, the differences between Sunni(Barelwi) and Deobandi beliefs could be a means of disunity and cause misunderstanding amongst each other.

2) Secondly, keeping in mind the difficulties we face in regards to certain beliefs and festivities in this modern age this could have a huge impact on the life of the children and can be a means of disagreement between parents and children.

In conclusion, to the following points mentioned above, one may find it very hard to accommodate such differences as both are very firm in what they believe and one may find it hard to find a balance due to differences in aqaid.

Only Allah knows best

Written by Maulana Belaal Ahmed

Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah

Darul Ifta Birmingham