Fatwa ID: 06306
Answered by: Muftiyah Safiyya-Maryam Ahmed
Question:
Àssalamualaikum respected Alim, I am 36 years old divorcee I belong to the Sunni Hanafi sect I married a man secretly he is cheating on me n not fulfilling my rights whenever I demand love he abuses we are in different cities. He has divorced me two times but we did ruju during iddah
Our marriage is not registered nor has he filled any nikah form we accepted each other in the presence of two male adult Muslim sane people by Making Allah our Witness, he didn’t gift me mahar or any single gift.
If I want to get separated what will be the procedure of khula? If I demand a divorce from him he gives me mental trauma.
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer:
A nikah will be valid when offer and acceptance take place in the presence of two adults, male Muslims. The mahr does not need to be stipulated at the time of the contract, but it is a compulsory (wajib) debt that the husband owes the wife. If no amount was stipulated it automatically will be the ‘Mahr Mithal’- this is the average amount that your sisters or paternal aunties/cousins similar to you receive as Mahr. Although you mentioned this is a ‘secret’ marriage there will be family members, friends, and scholars who you may be able to turn to in order to help facilitate reconciliation in your marriage if this is possible. Involving family members and reconciling is the first step mentioned in the Qur’an in order to avoid the breakdown of a sacred union.
“And if you fear a split between them, send one arbitrator from his people and one from her people. If they desire to set things right, Allah shall bring about harmony between them. Surely, Allah is All-Knowing, All-Aware.” [4:35]
“If a woman fears either ill-treatment or aversion from her husband it is not wrong for the husband and wife to bring about reconciliation among themselves, for settlement is better. Man’s soul is always prone to selfishness, but if you do good and are God-fearing, then surely Allah is aware of the things you do.” [4:128]
If there is no chance of saving the marriage, you or someone on your behalf can request the husband to give you one final divorce. If he refuses on invalid grounds you could come to an agreement with him for him to give the divorce in exchange for some finance- such as you waiving the Mahr that he owes you. If there is still a refusal on his part you must contact a local fiqh council that deals with divorce issues as they will be able to initiate the process of Khula’- please note permission from the husband is still required for Khula and the fiqh council will attempt to contact him, if he adamantly refuses contact or compliance then the fiqh council can dissolve the marriage.
Only Allah knows best
Written by Muftiyah Safiyya-Maryam Ahmed
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
قال: ” النكاح ينعقد بالإيجاب والقبول بلفظين يعبر بهما عن الماضي ” لأن الصيغة وإن كانت للإخبار وضعا فقد جعلت للإنشاء شرعا دفعا للحاجة… قال: ” ولا ينعقد نكاح المسلمين إلا بحضور شاهدين حرين عاقلين بالغين مسلمين رجلين أو رجل وامرأتين عدولا كانوا أو غير عدول أو محدودين في القذف… ” ويصح النكاح وإن لم يسم فيه مهرا ” لأن النكاح عقد انضمام وازدواج لغة فيتم بالزوجين ثم المهر واجب شرعا إبانة لشرف المحل فلا يحتاج إلى ذكره لصحة النكاح وكذا إذا تزوجها بشرط أن لا مهر لها لما بينا وفيه خلاف مالك رحمه الله… وإن تزوجها ولم يسم لها مهرا أو تزوجها على أن لا مهر لها فلها مهر مثلها إن دخل بها أو مات عنها… قال: ” ومهر مثلها يعتبر بأخواتها وعماتها وبنات أعمامها ” لقول ابن مسعود رحمه الله لها مهر مثل نسائها لا وكس فيه ولا شطط وهن أقارب الأب ولأن الإنسان من جنس قوم أبيه وقيمة الشيء إنما تعرف بالنظر في قيمة جنسه (الهداية شرح بداية المبتدي, كتاب النكاح, باب المهر)
