Fatwa ID: 07044
Answered by: Mufti Mohammed Dilwar Hussain
Question:
If the wife holds the husbands finger and moves his finger or hand up and down her private parts, will that be considered masturbation?
In the name of Allāh, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer:
There is nothing wrong in touching, stroking and fondling the genitals of one’s spouse. In fact, as part of foreplay, it is encouraged to stroke and play with each other’s private parts.
The wife may stroke her husband’s penis, while the husband may fondle her vagina. It is an effective means of preparing one’s spouse for sexual intercourse.
In this regard, it is important to stimulate the woman’s clitoris, a small sensitive and erectile part of the female genitals at the front of the vagina, as this will result in a more profound sexual response.
It is stated in Al-Fatāwā al-Hindiyah, a renowned Hanafi Fiqh reference work, that Imām Abu Yusuf said: “I asked Imām Abu Hanifah regarding a man who strokes his wife’s vagina and she strokes his penis in order that he get an erection, do you see any wrong in that?” He replied: “No, rather I am confident that one will be rewarded for doing so.” [Al-Fatāwā al-Hindiyah: vol. 5, pg. 328]
The same has been recorded by Imām Khatib al-Shirbini of the Shāfi’ī School in his Mughni al-Muhtāj. [Vol. 3, pg. 181]
Moreover, it is permissible for the husband to use his hands and fingers to make his wife reach orgasm, and likewise the wife to use her hands to masturbate her husband. It is particularly encouraged for the husband to practise this on his wife, since women take longer to reach an orgasm.
The renowned Hanafi jurist, Imām Ibn ‘Abidin, clearly states the permissibility of mutual masturbation between the spouses in his Radd al-Muhtār. He states quoting Mi’rāj al-Dirāya: “And it is permitted to masturbate with the hand of one’s wife.” [Radd al-Muhtār: vol. 2, pg. 399] [1]
Imām Ibn ‘Abidin details the difference between this and masturbating with one’s own hand, which is clearly forbidden. In the former case, one is satisfying oneself with that which is permissible to gain satisfaction from, namely a part of one’s spouse, and one is entitled to seek sexual satisfaction from her entire body, whereas in the latter case, one is not. He notes that the prohibition of masturbating with one’s own hand likewise applies to masturbating with one’s own thighs, a wall or any other object. [Ibid]
In the chapter pertaining to legal punishments (kitāb al-Hudūd), the author of the original work Al-Durr al-Mukhtār states: “If a man allows his wife to stroke his penis and he ejaculates, it is disliked but there is nothing on him.”
Commenting on this, Imām Ibn ‘Abidīn, explains that dislike here means “slightly disliked (karāha tanzīh)” without it being sinful, and then refers to what he discussed earlier in the chapter of fasting that it is permitted to masturbate with the hand of one’s wife. [Radd al-Muhtār: vol 4, pg. 27]
Based on this reasoning and the explicit text mentioned above concerning the permissibility of a man masturbating with his wife’s hand, it can be concluded that the reverse is also permissible, namely the wife masturbating with the husband’s hand.
Text quoted in its entirety from the Islamic Guide to Sexual Relations by Mufti Muhammad ibn Ādam al-Kawthari [pages 63-64].
The husband and wife masturbating each other is permissible. Masturbating oneself is strictly prohibited. The issue which arises here, is that the husband is not doing the actions of his own accord rather the wife is doing them herself which would not be permissible. I would instead advise that if there is any particular actions which arouse the wife or she prefers, then she can guide her husband through that rather than using his hand to arouse herself.
Only Allāh Ta’ālā knows best.
Written by Mufti Mohammed Dilwar Hussain
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
[1] وكذا الاستمناء بالكف وإن كره تحريما لحديث { ناكح اليد ملعون } ولو خاف الزنى يرجى أن لا وبال عليه …قال ابن عابدين: ( قوله : ولو خاف الزنى إلخ ) الظاهر أنه غير قيد بل لو تعين الخلاص من الزنى به وجب ؛ لأنه أخف وعبارة الفتح فإن غلبته الشهوة ففعل إرادة تسكينها به فالرجاء أن لا يعاقب
