{"id":21772,"date":"2022-01-05T14:53:05","date_gmt":"2022-01-05T14:53:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/?p=21772"},"modified":"2022-01-05T14:53:05","modified_gmt":"2022-01-05T14:53:05","slug":"advice-on-maritial-issues","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/advice-on-maritial-issues\/","title":{"rendered":"Advice on Maritial Issues"},"content":{"rendered":"

Fatwa ID: 05719<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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Answered by: Mufti Nabil Khan<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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Question:<\/u><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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What to do if you are married to a person, who Allah warned not to marry?<\/span><\/p>\n

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Situation:<\/span><\/p>\n

My cousin had a crush on me, I was not interested in her. She started chatting with me, appeared more attractive in front of me and finally appealed to me. I proposed for the marriage. Her father wanted to do istikhara first. I was too afraid to do it since I was afraid that it might go against us. Anyways, her mother asked someone to do it for them and it went “well”. Of course, it was a wrong way to do the istikhara. Even without making any intention for the istikhara, I got the clear signal from Allah that I should not marry her. The Signal: I saw her name and below it was a green plus sign and a red minus sign and the red minus sign was selected, while the green one disappeared. Here, my Iman was tested and I failed. I married her anyway, thinking that if any problem occurred, we will realise and part ways. Besides, according to them, their version of “istikhara” went well.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Problem:<\/span><\/p>\n

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It has been 4 years since marriage and life is hell! She has so many personality disorders, including anger management. Our child has some minor birth defects, related to her eyesight and her personality is getting affected by the fights of our parents. I can’t even dare to spend 5 minutes alone with her. She is a great person but we can’t be together.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Biggest problem:<\/span><\/p>\n

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Sex! I have absolutely no sexual or romantic attraction with her. She feels like a sister. Besides, she is my first cousin. I’m deprived of the sexual and romantic peace, which married couples get. This leads me to pornography and it breaks my heart to deprive her of sex as well, as she has no problem with having sex with me. She is even romantically attracted to me. I can’t divorce her because of 2 reasons:<\/span><\/p>\n

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1) My daughter’s personality is already getting affected, if she gets to live with her without me, she will be another patient and will struggle a lot in her life.<\/span><\/p>\n

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2) My wife madly loves me, despite screaming and fighting with me and despite how much she hates my mother. She even said that she will kill herself if I divorced her. So I can’t live with her; I can’t divorce her. It has affected my spiritual life, my personal life, my health and my career. I don’t know what to do.<\/span><\/p>\n

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In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful<\/u><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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Answer:<\/u><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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It is an important sunnah for a person to make istikharah themself, although it is fine if others make istikharah on one’s behalf.<\/span><\/p>\n

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If the istikharah comes out negative then a person should refrain from making that decision and if it is positive then it is correct to move forward. <\/span><\/p>\n

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In connection to the points that have been made regarding the istikharah prior to your marriage a few things need to be noted.<\/span><\/p>\n

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