{"id":32550,"date":"2024-11-08T10:07:12","date_gmt":"2024-11-08T10:07:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/?p=32550"},"modified":"2024-12-09T22:02:05","modified_gmt":"2024-12-09T22:02:05","slug":"dropping-college-to-focus-on-deen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/dropping-college-to-focus-on-deen\/","title":{"rendered":"Parents Want Me To Pursue College: Etiquettes To Follow When Disagreeing With Parent\u2019s Decision"},"content":{"rendered":"

Fatwa ID: 07657<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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Answered by Maulana Burhaan Rahman<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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Question:<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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I’ve been thinking of quitting college because not only am I failing in all my classes, I also don’t have the motivation nor am I happy to continue studying something I’m no longer really interested in. But the reason why I’m still a student is because my parents wouldn’t want me to quit and would be very, very angry with me if I quit. I’m scared that as a result, I’m sinning for not listening to my parents.<\/span><\/p>\n

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My plan is to find a job, earn some money, pay my dad back all the money he spent on my education, and focus more on my Deen, trying to get back on the straight path as opposed to how I was before. I go to a college where there is free-mixing which has also been a concern for me.<\/span><\/p>\n

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I’m scared that I’d commit a major sin for disappointing and angering my parents, but I genuinely don’t want to continue studying. I’ve already re-done a few years as well as changed courses. And the thing is, I never actually decided to go to college for myself as I couldn’t find something I would be good at\/interested in, it was more so to make my parents proud. But look where that got me.<\/span><\/p>\n

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What should I do?<\/span><\/p>\n

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In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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Answer:<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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Alhamdulillah, throughout the years you have been listening to your parents although they are thinking that they want the best for your education, you have come to the conclusion that further studying isn\u2019t going to go well due to your interest in the field and in addition to that, you want to focus on your Deen by the will of Allah. Allah SWT mentions in the Qur\u2019an:<\/span><\/p>\n

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\u0648\u064e\u0648\u064e\u0635\u0651\u064e\u064a\u0652\u0646\u064e\u0627 \u0671\u0644\u0652\u0625\u0650\u0646\u0633\u064e\u0640\u0670\u0646\u064e \u0628\u0650\u0648\u064e\u0670\u0644\u0650\u062f\u064e\u064a\u0652\u0647\u0650 \u0625\u0650\u062d\u0652\u0633\u064e\u0640\u0670\u0646\u064b\u0627 \u06d6<\/span><\/p>\n

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We have commanded people to honour their parents. [Surah Ahqaaf verse 15]. A similar verse in the Qur\u2019an is in Surah Ankaboot \u2013 verse 8.<\/span><\/p>\n

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When your parents try to stop you from doing something you feel is crucial for your Deen, it can be upsetting. However, as a general rule, you should be patient and make an effort to listen to them as long as they don’t instruct you to do anything that is forbidden (haram) or forbid you from performing something that is required (fardh).<\/span><\/p>\n

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In reality, we must understand the situation. Your parents want you to do the best in your education which is fine and it\u2019s not unlawful (Haram) for them doing so. But you want to stay away from it, not just because it doesn\u2019t interest you, but you also want to further yourself in Deen whilst staying away from Haram\/potential Haram. May Allah SWT reward you for that! Although the act of leaving college and focusing solely on Islam whether it\u2019s via spiritually\/attaining knowledge or both etc. our beloved prophet (SAW) mentions:<\/span><\/p>\n

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\u064a\u064e\u0642\u064f\u0648\u0644\u064f \u0627\u0644\u0644\u0651\u064e\u0647\u064f \u0625\u0650\u0630\u064e\u0627 \u0623\u064e\u0631\u064e\u0627\u062f\u064e \u0639\u064e\u0628\u0652\u062f\u0650\u064a \u0623\u064e\u0646\u0652 \u064a\u064e\u0639\u0652\u0645\u064e\u0644\u064e \u0633\u064e\u064a\u0651\u0650\u0626\u064e\u0629\u064b \u0641\u064e\u0644\u0627\u064e \u062a\u064e\u0643\u0652\u062a\u064f\u0628\u064f\u0648\u0647\u064e\u0627 \u0639\u064e\u0644\u064e\u064a\u0652\u0647\u0650 \u062d\u064e\u062a\u0651\u064e\u0649 \u064a\u064e\u0639\u0652\u0645\u064e\u0644\u064e\u0647\u064e\u0627\u060c \u0641\u064e\u0625\u0650\u0646\u0652 \u0639\u064e\u0645\u0650\u0644\u064e\u0647\u064e\u0627 \u0641\u064e\u0627\u0643\u0652\u062a\u064f\u0628\u064f\u0648\u0647\u064e\u0627 \u0628\u0650\u0645\u0650\u062b\u0652\u0644\u0650\u0647\u064e\u0627 \u0648\u064e\u0625\u0650\u0646\u0652 \u062a\u064e\u0631\u064e\u0643\u064e\u0647\u064e\u0627 \u0645\u0650\u0646\u0652 \u0623\u064e\u062c\u0652\u0644\u0650\u064a \u0641\u064e\u0627\u0643\u0652\u062a\u064f\u0628\u064f\u0648\u0647\u064e\u0627 \u0644\u064e\u0647\u064f \u062d\u064e\u0633\u064e\u0646\u064e\u0629\u064b \u0648\u064e\u0625\u0650\u0630\u064e\u0627 \u0623\u064e\u0631\u064e\u0627\u062f\u064e \u0623\u064e\u0646\u0652 \u064a\u064e\u0639\u0652\u0645\u064e\u0644\u064e \u062d\u064e\u0633\u064e\u0646\u064e\u0629\u064b \u0641\u064e\u0644\u064e\u0645\u0652 \u064a\u064e\u0639\u0652\u0645\u064e\u0644\u0652\u0647\u064e\u0627 \u0641\u064e\u0627\u0643\u0652\u062a\u064f\u0628\u064f\u0648\u0647\u064e\u0627 \u0644\u064e\u0647\u064f \u062d\u064e\u0633\u064e\u0646\u064e\u0629\u064b\u060c \u0641\u064e\u0625\u0650\u0646\u0652 \u0639\u064e\u0645\u0650\u0644\u064e\u0647\u064e\u0627 \u0641\u064e\u0627\u0643\u0652\u062a\u064f\u0628\u064f\u0648\u0647\u064e\u0627 \u0644\u064e\u0647\u064f \u0628\u0650\u0639\u064e\u0634\u0652\u0631\u0650 \u0623\u064e\u0645\u0652\u062b\u064e\u0627\u0644\u0650\u0647\u064e\u0627 \u0625\u0650\u0644\u064e\u0649 \u0633\u064e\u0628\u0652\u0639\u0650\u0645\u0650\u0627\u0626\u064e\u0629\u064d<\/span><\/p>\n

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If My slave plans to perform a wicked deed, then (O Angels), do not record it until he really does it; if he actually does it, then write it as is; but if he refrains from doing it for My sake, then write it as a good action (in his account). On the other hand, if he plans to do a good action but doesn’t do it, record a good deed in his account; if he really accomplishes it, record it for him as ten good deeds up to seven hundred times. [Bukhari Hadeeth no: 7501]<\/span><\/p>\n

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In such a situation, you are to explain yourself to them and come to an agreement. Sit down with them and speak of the matter. Speak to your parents with honour and do mashwarah (consult) with them. A beautiful verse from the Qur\u2019an we can learn from in this context is when our beloved prophet (SAW) was to speak to the believers in such a way:<\/span><\/p>\n

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\u0641\u064e\u0628\u0650\u0645\u064e\u0627\u00a0\u0631\u064e\u062d\u0652\u0645\u064e\u0629\u064d\u06e2\u00a0\u0645\u0651\u0650\u0646\u064e\u00a0\u0671\u0644\u0644\u0651\u064e\u0647\u0650\u00a0\u0644\u0650\u0646\u062a\u064e\u00a0\u0644\u064e\u0647\u064f\u0645\u0652 \u06d6\u00a0\u0648\u064e\u0644\u064e\u0648\u0652\u00a0\u0643\u064f\u0646\u062a\u064e\u00a0\u0641\u064e\u0638\u0651\u064b\u0627\u00a0\u063a\u064e\u0644\u0650\u064a\u0638\u064e\u00a0\u0671\u0644\u0652\u0642\u064e\u0644\u0652\u0628\u0650\u00a0\u0644\u064e\u0671\u0646\u0641\u064e\u0636\u0651\u064f\u0648\u0627\u06df\u00a0\u0645\u0650\u0646\u0652\u00a0\u062d\u064e\u0648\u0652\u0644\u0650\u0643\u064e \u06d6\u00a0\u0641\u064e\u0671\u0639\u0652\u0641\u064f\u00a0\u0639\u064e\u0646\u0652\u0647\u064f\u0645\u0652\u00a0\u0648\u064e\u0671\u0633\u0652\u062a\u064e\u063a\u0652\u0641\u0650\u0631\u0652\u00a0\u0644\u064e\u0647\u064f\u0645\u0652\u00a0\u0648\u064e\u0634\u064e\u0627\u0648\u0650\u0631\u0652\u0647\u064f\u0645\u0652\u00a0\u0641\u0650\u0649\u00a0\u0671\u0644\u0652\u0623\u064e\u0645\u0652\u0631\u0650 \u06d6\u00a0\u0641\u064e\u0625\u0650\u0630\u064e\u0627\u00a0\u0639\u064e\u0632\u064e\u0645\u0652\u062a\u064e\u00a0\u0641\u064e\u062a\u064e\u0648\u064e\u0643\u0651\u064e\u0644\u0652\u00a0\u0639\u064e\u0644\u064e\u0649\u00a0\u0671\u0644\u0644\u0651\u064e\u0647\u0650 \u06da\u00a0\u0625\u0650\u0646\u0651\u064e\u00a0\u0671\u0644\u0644\u0651\u064e\u0647\u064e\u00a0\u064a\u064f\u062d\u0650\u0628\u0651\u064f\u00a0\u0671\u0644\u0652\u0645\u064f\u062a\u064e\u0648\u064e\u0643\u0651\u0650\u0644\u0650\u064a\u0646\u064e<\/span><\/p>\n

So by mercy from Allah, (O Muhammad), you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude (in speech) and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you. So pardon them and ask forgiveness for them and consult them in the matter. And when you have decided, then rely upon Allah. Indeed, Allah loves those who rely [upon Him]. [Surah Al-Imraan verse 159]<\/span><\/p>\n

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Ensure to speak to them in the best way when consulting them and have good intentions and be full of sincerity. Allah SWT says in the Qur\u2019an regarding showing mercy to parents:<\/span><\/p>\n

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\u0648\u064e\u0671\u062e\u0652\u0641\u0650\u0636\u0652\u00a0\u0644\u064e\u0647\u064f\u0645\u064e\u0627\u00a0\u062c\u064e\u0646\u064e\u0627\u062d\u064e\u00a0\u0671\u0644\u0630\u0651\u064f\u0644\u0651\u0650\u00a0\u0645\u0650\u0646\u064e\u00a0\u0671\u0644\u0631\u0651\u064e\u062d\u0652\u0645\u064e\u0629\u0650\u00a0\u0648\u064e\u0642\u064f\u0644\u00a0\u0631\u0651\u064e\u0628\u0651\u0650\u00a0\u0671\u0631\u0652\u062d\u064e\u0645\u0652\u0647\u064f\u0645\u064e\u0627\u00a0\u0643\u064e\u0645\u064e\u0627\u00a0\u0631\u064e\u0628\u0651\u064e\u064a\u064e\u0627\u0646\u0650\u0649\u00a0\u0635\u064e\u063a\u0650\u064a\u0631\u064b\u06ed\u0627<\/span><\/p>\n

And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, \u201cMy Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.\u201d [Surah Israa\u2019 verse 24]<\/span><\/p>\n

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Allah will not ignore the slave who is completely sincere. And if you are sincere about this and strive for the best, that\u2019s everything you need. Allah SWT mentions:<\/span><\/p>\n

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\u0648\u064e\u064a\u064e\u0631\u0652\u0632\u064f\u0642\u0652\u0647\u064f\u00a0\u0645\u0650\u0646\u0652\u00a0\u062d\u064e\u064a\u0652\u062b\u064f\u00a0\u0644\u064e\u0627\u00a0\u064a\u064e\u062d\u0652\u062a\u064e\u0633\u0650\u0628\u064f \u06da\u00a0\u0648\u064e\u0645\u064e\u0646\u00a0\u064a\u064e\u062a\u064e\u0648\u064e\u0643\u0651\u064e\u0644\u0652\u00a0\u0639\u064e\u0644\u064e\u0649\u00a0\u0671\u0644\u0644\u0651\u064e\u0647\u0650\u00a0\u0641\u064e\u0647\u064f\u0648\u064e\u00a0\u062d\u064e\u0633\u0652\u0628\u064f\u0647\u064f\u06e5\u0653 \u06da\u0625\u0650\u0646\u0651\u064e\u00a0\u0671\u0644\u0644\u0651\u064e\u0647\u064e\u00a0\u0628\u064e\u0640\u0670\u0644\u0650\u063a\u064f\u00a0\u0623\u064e\u0645\u0652\u0631\u0650\u0647\u0650\u00a0\u0642\u064e\u062f\u0652\u00a0\u062c\u064e\u0639\u064e\u0644\u064e\u00a0\u0671\u0644\u0644\u0651\u064e\u0647\u064f\u00a0\u0644\u0650\u0643\u064f\u0644\u0651\u0650\u00a0\u0634\u064e\u0649\u0652\u0621\u064d\u06e2\u00a0\u0642\u064e\u062f\u0652\u0631\u064b\u06ed\u0627<\/span><\/p>\n

And will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah \u2013 then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a (decreed) extent. [Surah Talaaq verse 3]<\/span><\/p>\n

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And lastly, don\u2019t forget to make Du\u2019aa constantly. Always remember yourself and your parents in your Du\u2019aa alongside mentioning the situation that you are in and what you want to achieve. Ask Allah to put khayr (goodness) in everything honestly and sincerely.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Only Allah knows best<\/span><\/p>\n

Written by Maulana Burhaan Rahman<\/span><\/p>\n

Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah<\/span><\/p>\n

Darul Ifta Birmingham<\/span><\/p>\n

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Fatwa ID: 07657     Answered by Maulana Burhaan Rahman   Question:   I’ve been thinking of quitting college because not only am I failing…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[12],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32550"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=32550"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32550\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":34312,"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32550\/revisions\/34312"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=32550"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=32550"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=32550"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}