{"id":33224,"date":"2024-10-17T10:28:02","date_gmt":"2024-10-17T10:28:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/?p=33224"},"modified":"2024-11-23T15:45:16","modified_gmt":"2024-11-23T15:45:16","slug":"waswasa-regarding-divorce","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/waswasa-regarding-divorce\/","title":{"rendered":"Waswasa Regarding Divorce"},"content":{"rendered":"

Fatwa ID: 07544<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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Answered by: Maulana Sakib Shadman<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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Question:<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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Asalamualaikum, please may you reply as soon as you see this. I have extreme waswasa which affects me every single minute (or every couple of minutes) every day (not an exaggeration) to do with the d-word, this happens in prayer, dhikr, sleep, eating food, doing anything with my wife, literally anything. It happens all day every day.<\/span><\/p>\n

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I used to be active physically and mentally and thought if you have these mental problems just exercise or just be put in Africa or Palestine and live the life they are living, and then see if you worry about OCD when you are fighting for food or survival etc, but now it\u2019s affecting me severely. <\/span><\/p>\n

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Alhumdulillah I got married on March 4 2024, at 20 years of age, it was with a woman I was in a haraam relationship with but I wanted the haraam to go and married during university and did a lot of night shifts (patrolling as a security guard) to make ends meet Alhumdullilah.<\/span><\/p>\n

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My waswasa got really bad regarding the \u201cd\u201d word. I can\u2019t even say anything unrelated to it which starts with \u201cD\u201d or \u201cT\u201d or anything without thinking about it. The conditional statements run in my mind every second. For example- a man can just be asking a normal question, whether angry happy or whatever and in his head after every statement he makes ever, the end bit \u201cor the d word happens\u201d or the actual \u201cI d word you\u201d or \u201cshe is d word\u201d literally is always in my head or it\u2019s just the \u201cd\u201d or \u201ct\u201d word on its own. Literally any possible D-word statement you can think of is always in my head, and it is every moment.<\/span><\/p>\n

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I kept consulting muftis and imams and asking questions and they eventually blocked me, stopped answering or they may go to study in another country so I can\u2019t really contact anybody. I kind of just (although unreliable) put my problems into chat GPT and go with that. <\/span><\/p>\n

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May Allah reward all these Muftis\/ Imams who dealt with me, the problem is, I ask questions and it\u2019s all good that they answer. They all give guidelines. But the problem is new scenarios occur in which I think \u201cOh I need to tell them this\u201d. Deep down I know it doesn\u2019t do anything but I just have a compulsion to ask.<\/span><\/p>\n

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I have always had OCD now that I think of it, my mum was a single mum before she remarried, and I used to do dua for her for ages naming all things that could possibly happen, I would list them all as a young kid in my hands till my hands hurt to make sure if I do dua for every single thing, a bad thing won\u2019t happen to her when she goes to study or anything, <\/span><\/p>\n

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I would later stop doing this and it would be very minor and would be about cleaning and then other small things like sorting out stuff, I grew up and now it\u2019s come to my marriage. I also believe most of my family have OCD, and a guy related to me actually died in Ramadan because of OCD and the medication he took. Everyone in my family just ignores it though to be honest.<\/span><\/p>\n

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All these Imams and muftis tell me to ignore it, they give me Dhikr to read and tell me to increase my knowledge, I do this but it\u2019s hard. One Imam also did ruqya.\u00a0 They also tell me that under waswasa nothing counts which is all well.<\/span><\/p>\n

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The problem is sometimes I think these things without waswasa, I think these thoughts\/ statements myself, or I think that I think of them myself and I\u2019m worried if the questions below do anything. I\u2019ve done some research and want to know if my knowledge is correct-<\/span><\/p>\n

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Nowadays, I just sit down in my room or anywhere and think, I have bitten my tongue so hard I feel my adult teeth slowly getting weaker like they are about to fall out just to stop myself from doing anything.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Please don\u2019t answer these according to waswasa, these are all hypothetical scenarios that I would please want answering as if it\u2019s a man with intention (or not) according to what I\u2019ve written in the question. <\/span><\/p>\n

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Jazakallah.<\/span><\/p>\n

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What does not count-<\/span><\/p>\n

1- if a man may be upset or angry or something, and thinking about the \u2018d word\u2019 or imagining a scenario which he intends in his head. And god forbid he accidentally absentmindedly OUT LOUD say the full sentence whilst thinking of the scenario, even though he Didn\u2019t mean to verbally say it, it doesn’t count right? Even if his wife is there?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

2- Am I right in believing that if a man INTENDED \u2018D WORD\u2019 by mouthing the entire explicit words of \u2018d word\u2019 but there’s no like sound produced, even tho ur lips tongue and mouth moved, it doesn’t count right? Even if your wife\/someone saw ur mouth?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

3- With the intention of the \u2018d word\u2019 by this- do physical actions not count? Such as a man pressing an implicit word on a screen, a man pressing (not typing),\u00a0 the word \u201ccancel\u201d on his phone as his wife is there with the intention of thinking he\u2019s \u201ccancelling nikkah\u201d or slamming something like the door or shutting the door with the intention of \u2018d word\u2019 by doing that?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

4- If a man intentionally with the intention of causing a \u2018d word\u2019 by doing this-\u00a0 thinks of explicit words\/ statements such as full “T word” or “t word is given* or “I (explicit word) you” or anything. And intentionally moves his tongue before he thinks of it or during thinking it or after thinking of it, doesn’t form any words, and what if he maybe forms the first few letters with his tongue? Does this not count?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

5- What if a man Purposely thinks of \u2018d word\u2019 with the intention of issuing \u2018d word\u2019 through statements\/ sentences in his mind,\u00a0 as his tongue moves as he\u2019s saying other words in normal conversation, or whilst he\u2019s eating\/ talking\/ praying, or looking\/talking to the wife, but not saying the actual words.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

6-If a man intentionally expresses the full rhythm of an explicit sentence related to divorce, like “| divorce you,” “You are divorced,” or “If you do this, you are divorced,” or any type of \u2018d word\u2019 statement, and if he intended \u2018d word\u2019 by doing these-\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

-biting tongue down and the tongue moves in rhythm with explicit sentences as it’s bitten down<\/span><\/p>\n

-biting tongue down in rhythm with explicit sentences, biting down harder or lighter in rhythm,<\/span><\/p>\n

-breathing in\/out through his nose and or mouth, making breathing sounds in rhythm,<\/span><\/p>\n