{"id":33321,"date":"2024-10-26T09:54:25","date_gmt":"2024-10-26T09:54:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/?p=33321"},"modified":"2024-12-02T08:41:06","modified_gmt":"2024-12-02T08:41:06","slug":"adhd-and-divorce","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/adhd-and-divorce\/","title":{"rendered":"ADHD And Divorce"},"content":{"rendered":"

Fatwa ID: 07602<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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Answered by: Alimah Saniyah bint Asrar<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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Question<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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I have had undiagnosed ADHD since childhood but got formally diagnosed with ADHD in July 2024.<\/span><\/p>\n

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One of the main criteria for the diagnoses was marital or relationship problems over a long period, coupled with a long history of the typical symptoms associated with the mental illness. Additionally, I underwent some psychometric tests. Getting an ADHD diagnosis is not easy as it enables treatment and access to medication that can be very dangerous like Ritalin.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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I have a son who is 20 and was diagnosed many years ago with ADHD and I have a brother who has been also diagnosed with a similar condition to ADHD as they overlap in many ways. My ADHD has been with me since childhood and remained undiagnosed until now. My son having ADHD suggests it\u2019s genetic.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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I also had an abusive father and we had a very difficult and depressed environment at home from childhood until I moved out after my marriage.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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Whenever I get emotionally intense, I am unable to dysregulate and control myself with what I say in such a state. On my first night in marriage, I was very impatient, impulsive and rough with my wife, all of that now makes sense because of my ADHD.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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An incident occurred one evening a few weeks later, where I was telling my wife strictly not to adorn herself with make-up when going outside. She became infuriated and started throwing things in the room and the environment became heated and emotionally intense for me. I don\u2019t know what I said, however my wife states that I said Talaq 3 times. I was in such a mental state that I didn\u2019t know what I said.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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I have never verbally abused nor shouted at my wife ever and this is not my personality. I have been in such an emotional state on several occasions, not just divorce-related, but with other people and said things I didn\u2019t mean (and I\u2019m known to be a decent and sensible person when calm).\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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I have been with my wife for over 24 years, there have been only 2 occasions and in both situations, I became emotionally intense and unable to control and dysregulate and uttered Talaq thrice in one go. On both occasions, my mental state was such that I didn\u2019t know what words I said. My wife however remembers me stating Talaq.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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I have never had any intention or desire to divorce my wife. In fact, only recently she was expressing much love and affection. However, she came across the ruling that talaq occurs when uttered thrice in one sitting and believes we are not husband and wife. <\/span><\/p>\n

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She at that point didn\u2019t know I had ADHD.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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However, my research suggests that since ADHD is a mental illness and I was under its influence at the time of utterance and I didn\u2019t know what I said, therefore my pronouncements are deemed invalid.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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Since my diagnosis, I have taken measures and medicine to treat my symptoms with great improvement and I\u2019m a lot better now.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

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Answer:<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

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May Allah make your affairs easy.<\/span><\/p>\n

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ADHD is a difficult mental health issue, especially when it relates to religious matters because it can be difficult to address if proper professionals aren’t found.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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From what I understood of the question, you uttered three Talaq twice during your marriage, but in both instances, you didn’t remember anything of the incident. Since you have received a diagnosis and don\u2019t remember the incidents, the divorce will not go through since it would be considered giving a divorce when not in the right mental state. In such instances, the divorce doesn’t go through.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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You mentioned that you\u2019ve been receiving treatment for ADHD so that\u2019s good. You should continue your treatment, and try your best to find a Muslim mental health practitioner who will be able to understand your difficulty better.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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Now that you are taking medication, you must be very careful about what you say. Should you utter the words of Talaq while taking medication, your Talaq will go through even if you did so without any intention of divorce or in the state of anger.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Only Allah knows best.<\/span><\/p>\n

Answered by Alimah Saniyah bint Asrar<\/span><\/p>\n

Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah<\/span><\/p>\n

Darul Ifta Birmingham<\/span><\/p>\n

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Fatwa ID: 07602     Answered by: Alimah Saniyah bint Asrar   Question   I have had undiagnosed ADHD since childhood but got formally diagnosed…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33321"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=33321"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33321\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":34129,"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33321\/revisions\/34129"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=33321"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=33321"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=33321"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}