{"id":33872,"date":"2024-12-01T11:49:33","date_gmt":"2024-12-01T11:49:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/?p=33872"},"modified":"2024-12-28T23:04:12","modified_gmt":"2024-12-28T23:04:12","slug":"staying-in-contact-with-a-girl-while-the-family-isnt-allowing-the-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/staying-in-contact-with-a-girl-while-the-family-isnt-allowing-the-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"Staying In Contact With A Girl While The Family Isn’t Allowing The Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"

Fatwa ID: 07734<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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Answered by: Maulana Sakib Shadman<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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Question<\/strong>:<\/span><\/p>\n

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I am in contact with a woman and we want to get married. She told her mother about this and she is against the marriage because of racism. I did my research and found out that all of her family thinks like this, and they will abound her if she marries me.<\/span><\/p>\n

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We aren’t meeting or texting.<\/span><\/p>\n

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I’m following the Hanafi school and I know that I can marry her without her Wali, b<\/span>ecause we are matching financial… <\/span>and she is \u0627\u0644\u0628\u0627\u0644\u063a\u0629!<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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My question is: is it permissible to stay in contact with her, by chatting through the internet, to get to know her better, b<\/span>ecause I can’t talk to the family as they will harm her?<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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I have this understanding that because she doesn’t need a Wali for marriage, she can decide to talk to a non-mahram.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Otherwise, how can I legally be in contact with her?<\/span><\/p>\n

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In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

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\u00a0Answer<\/strong>:<\/span><\/p>\n

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In principle, yes it is permissible in the Hanafi madhab to get married without a wali\/ guardian. Furthermore, if the couple are compatible, the guardian cannot veto the marriage.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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However, this doesn’t mean that it is a good idea to marry without the consent of the girl’s wali. In fact, if you had a daughter, you would not like her to marry without your approval hence, it will almost certainly cause many problems in your marriage if you marry a girl against the wishes of her family. In such a case, my advice would be to marry a girl whose family likes and approves of you.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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Compatibility is not just in financial matters. You also need to be compatible religiously, In other words, if a girl is a practising Muslimah, whereas the boy is not, then they are not compatible. <\/span>Furthermore, you mentioned race. It could be that a girl is from a noble Arab lineage and the boy is a Non Arab whereas In this case also, the couple is not compatible.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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Even if we assume that you are compatible, and you both really want to get married even though there are most likely other options for both of you; we still have to remember that communication between you is Haram without the presence of a mahram. This is due to the fear of fitnah, which is an even greater risk in this day and age where Muslims have very little control over their desires. Talking to this girl whether face to face or online, is completely impermissible, so I advise you to fear Allah Ta’ala in this regard.\u00a0<\/span>Just because she doesn’t need a wali for marriage, it doesn’t mean she can get to know you without her Mahram.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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In conclusion, either you go through her family, or if they really do not agree, then move on and find another girl whose family accepts you. If you really cannot accept this sincere advice and you feel that you must marry this girl, then perform your nikah with this girl (assuming you really are compatible) and then get to know each other after that. The only way you can deeply get to know her is after marriage; not before. It is not permissible nor feasible to connect on a deep level before marriage, even with the Mahram present. If you have any important things to ask her before marriage, ask your female mahram to ask her these questions on your behalf.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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Finally, please make istikharah regarding this girl and leave the decision up to Allah Ta’ala. That is the best course of action.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Only Allah knows best.<\/span><\/p>\n

Written by Maulana Sakib Shadman<\/span><\/p>\n

Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah<\/span><\/p>\n

Darul Ifta Birmingham<\/span><\/p>\n

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References<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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\u0635287 – \u0643\u062a\u0627\u0628 \u0627\u0644\u0641\u062a\u0627\u0648\u0649 \u0627\u0644\u0639\u0627\u0644\u0645\u0643\u064a\u0631\u064a\u0629 \u0627\u0644\u0641\u062a\u0627\u0648\u0649 \u0627\u0644\u0647\u0646\u062f\u064a\u0629 – \u0648\u0642\u062a \u0627\u0644\u062f\u062e\u0648\u0644 \u0628\u0627\u0644\u0635\u063a\u064a\u0631\u0629 – \u0627\u0644\u0645\u0643\u062a\u0628\u0629 \u0627\u0644\u0634\u0627\u0645\u0644\u0629<\/span><\/p>\n

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\u0646\u0641\u0630 \u0646\u0643\u0627\u062d \u062d\u0631\u0629 \u0645\u0643\u0644\u0641\u0629 \u0628\u0644\u0627 \u0648\u0644\u064a\u060c \u0648\u0644\u0627 \u062a\u062c\u0628\u0631 \u0628\u0643\u0631 \u0628\u0627\u0644\u063a\u0629 \u0639\u0644\u0649 \u0627\u0644\u0646\u0643\u0627\u062d<\/span><\/p>\n

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\u0646\u0641\u0630 \u0646\u0650\u0643\u064e\u0627\u062d \u062d\u0631\u064e\u0651\u0629 \u0645\u0643\u0644\u0641\u0629 \u0628\u0650\u0644\u064e\u0627 \u0648\u0644\u064a \u0648\u064e\u0644\u0647 \u0627\u0644\u0650\u0627\u0639\u0652\u062a\u0650\u0631\u064e\u0627\u0636 \u0641\u0650\u064a \u063a\u064a\u0631 \u0627\u0644\u0643\u0641\u0648 \u0648\u0631\u0648\u0649 \u0627\u0644\u0652\u062d\u0633\u0646 \u0639\u064e\u0646<\/span><\/p>\n

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\u0635488 – \u0643\u062a\u0627\u0628 \u0645\u0644\u062a\u0642\u0649 \u0627\u0644\u0623\u0628\u062d\u0631 – \u0628\u0627\u0628 \u0627\u0644\u0623\u0648\u0644\u064a\u0627\u0621 \u0648\u0627\u0644\u0623\u0643\u0641\u0627\u0621 – \u0627\u0644\u0645\u0643\u062a\u0628\u0629 \u0627\u0644\u0634\u0627\u0645\u0644\u0629<\/span><\/p>\n

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\u063571 – \u0643\u062a\u0627\u0628 \u0627\u0644\u0646\u0647\u0627\u064a\u0629 \u0641\u064a \u0634\u0631\u062d \u0627\u0644\u0647\u062f\u0627\u064a\u0629 \u0627\u0644\u0633\u063a\u0646\u0627\u0642\u064a – \u0641\u0635\u0644 \u0641\u064a \u0627\u0644\u0623\u0643\u0641\u0627\u0621 – \u0627\u0644\u0645\u0643\u062a\u0628\u0629 \u0627\u0644\u0634\u0627\u0645\u0644\u0629<\/span><\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u0635986 – \u0643\u062a\u0627\u0628 \u0627\u0644\u062a\u0646\u0628\u064a\u0647 \u0639\u0644\u0649 \u0645\u0634\u0643\u0644\u0627\u062a \u0627\u0644\u0647\u062f\u0627\u064a\u0629 – \u0643\u062a\u0627\u0628 \u0627\u0644\u062d\u062c – \u0627\u0644\u0645\u0643\u062a\u0628\u0629 \u0627\u0644\u0634\u0627\u0645\u0644\u0629<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Fatwa ID: 07734   Answered by: Maulana Sakib Shadman   Question:   I am in contact with a woman and we want to get married….<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[11],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33872"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=33872"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33872\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":34775,"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33872\/revisions\/34775"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=33872"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=33872"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=33872"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}