{"id":35959,"date":"2025-05-06T14:54:44","date_gmt":"2025-05-06T14:54:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/?p=35959"},"modified":"2025-07-12T20:20:12","modified_gmt":"2025-07-12T20:20:12","slug":"obedience-to-parents-and-handling-a-toxic-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/obedience-to-parents-and-handling-a-toxic-relationship\/","title":{"rendered":"Obedience to Parents and Handling a Toxic Relationship"},"content":{"rendered":"

Fatwa ID: 08129<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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Answered by: Maulana Abdoullah Limvoonheek<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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Question:<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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\u0627\u0644\u062c\u0646\u0629 \u062a\u062d\u062a \u0623\u0642\u062f\u0627\u0645 \u0623\u0645\u0647\u0627\u062a\u0643\u0645<\/span><\/p>\n

This question was received during a halaqa: How does one show obedience to a toxic mother? What is the outcome for mothers who are the cause of children committing suicide due to their toxic traits, or even children moving out but always remaining clingy via telephone calls, using religious scriptures as emotional blackmail to ensure their kids remain obedient?<\/span><\/p>\n

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In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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Answer:<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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After tawheed (worshipping Allah alone and not committing shirk), the greatest thing is to obey one\u2019s parents and fulfill their rights.<\/span><\/p>\n

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In any condition and situation, a Muslim should never lose hope in Allah. Allah is the best of planners, and He tests us to draw us closer to Him, which will be rewarded. At no time should a Muslim resort to suicide.<\/span><\/p>\n

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In your distressing situation, you should address your mother regarding her bad behavior, as she will be sinful and held accountable. Alternatively, seek help from the elders of the family.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Your mother may be unwell and in emotional pain. It is necessary for you to protect your own sanity, but at the same time, you must ensure that you do not become abusive towards her in retaliation.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Your parents are your jannah (paradise) or your jahannum (hell). Be good to them, serve them, and pave your way to paradise under all circumstances. If you are unkind and disobedient to them, you will end up in the hellfire.<\/span><\/p>\n

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We advise you to engage in dua after salah, asking Allah to improve the relationship and guide your mother. Engage in taalim (learning) at home, and if necessary, seek guidance and counseling.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Only Allah (\u0639\u0632 \u0648 \u062c\u0644) knows best.<\/span><\/p>\n

Written by Maulana Abdoullah Limvoonheek<\/span><\/p>\n

Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah<\/span><\/p>\n

Darul Ifta Birmingham<\/span><\/p>\n

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Reference:<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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Mariful Quran, Surah Isra, Ayah 23<\/span>
\n\u0648\u064e\u0642\u064e\u0636\u0670\u0649 \u0631\u064e\u0628\u0651\u064f\u0643\u064e \u0627\u064e\u0644\u0651\u064e\u0627 \u062a\u064e\u0639\u06e1\u0628\u064f\u062f\u064f\u0648\u06e1\u06e4\u0627 \u0627\u0650\u0644\u0651\u064e\u0627\u06e4 \u0627\u0650\u064a\u0651\u064e\u0627\u0647\u064f \u0648\u064e\u0628\u0650\u0627\u0644\u06e1\u0648\u064e\u0627\u0644\u0650\u062f\u064e\u064a\u06e1\u0646\u0650 \u0627\u0650\u062d\u06e1\u0633\u064e\u0627\u0646\u064b\u0627\u200c \u0615 \u0627\u0650\u0645\u0651\u064e\u0627 \u064a\u064e\u0640\u0628\u06e1\u0644\u064f\u063a\u064e\u0646\u0651\u064e \u0639\u0650\u0646\u06e1\u062f\u064e\u0643\u064e \u0627\u0644\u06e1\u0643\u0650\u0628\u064e\u0631\u064e \u0627\u064e\u062d\u064e\u062f\u064f\u0647\u064f\u0645\u064e\u0627\u06e4 \u0627\u064e\u0648\u06e1 \u0643\u0650\u0644\u0670\u0647\u064f\u0645\u064e\u0627 \u0641\u064e\u0644\u064e\u0627 \u062a\u064e\u0642\u064f\u0644\u0652 \u0644\u0651\u064e\u0647\u064f\u0645\u064e\u0627\u06e4 \u0627\u064f\u0641\u0651\u064d \u0648\u0651\u064e\u0644\u064e\u0627 \u062a\u064e\u0646\u06e1\u0647\u064e\u0631\u06e1\u0647\u064f\u0645\u064e\u0627 \u0648\u064e\u0642\u064f\u0644\u0652 \u0644\u0651\u064e\u0647\u064f\u0645\u064e\u0627 \u0642\u064e\u0648\u06e1\u0644\u064b\u0627 \u0643\u064e\u0631\u06e1\u064a\u064e\u0645\u064b\u0627\u200f<\/span><\/p>\n

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Surah Luqman, Ayah 14<\/span>
\n\u0648\u064e\u0648\u064e\u0635\u0651\u064e\u064a\u06e1\u0646\u064e\u0627 \u0627\u0644\u06e1\u0627\u0650\u0646\u06e1\u0633\u0670\u0646\u064e \u0628\u0650\u0648\u064e\u0627\u0644\u0650\u062f\u064e\u064a\u06e1\u0647\u0650\u200c\u06da \u062d\u064e\u0645\u064e\u0644\u064e\u062a\u06e1\u0647\u064f \u0627\u064f\u0645\u0651\u064f\u0647\u0657 \u0648\u064e\u0647\u06e1\u0646\u064b\u0627 \u0639\u064e\u0644\u0670\u0649 \u0648\u064e\u0647\u06e1\u0646\u064d \u0648\u0651\u064e\u0641\u0650\u0635\u0670\u0644\u064f\u0647\u0657 \u0641\u0650\u0649\u06e1 \u0639\u064e\u0627\u0645\u064e\u064a\u06e1\u0646\u0650 \u0627\u064e\u0646\u0650 \u0627\u0634\u06e1\u0643\u064f\u0631\u06e1 \u0644\u0650\u0649\u06e1 \u0648\u064e\u0644\u0650\u0640\u0648\u064e\u0627\u0644\u0650\u062f\u064e\u064a\u06e1\u0643\u064e\u0615 \u0627\u0650\u0644\u064e\u0649\u0651\u064e \u0627\u0644\u06e1\u0645\u064e\u0635\u0650\u064a\u06e1\u0631\u064f<\/span><\/p>\n

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Surah Ahqaf, Ayah 15<\/span>
\n\u0648\u064e\u0648\u064e\u0635\u0651\u064e\u064a\u06e1\u0646\u064e\u0627 \u0627\u0644\u06e1\u0627\u0650\u0646\u06e1\u0633\u0670\u0646\u064e \u0628\u0650\u0648\u064e\u0627\u0644\u0650\u062f\u064e\u064a\u06e1\u0647\u0650 \u0627\u0650\u062d\u06e1\u0633\u064e\u0627\u0646\u064b\u0627\u200c \u0615 \u062d\u064e\u0645\u064e\u0644\u064e\u0640\u062a\u06e1\u0647\u064f \u0627\u064f\u0645\u0651\u064f\u0647\u0657 \u0643\u064f\u0631\u06e1\u0647\u064b\u0627 \u0648\u0651\u064e\u0648\u064e\u0636\u064e\u0639\u064e\u062a\u06e1\u0647\u064f \u0643\u064f\u0631\u06e1\u0647\u064b\u0627\u200c \u0615 \u0648\u064e\u062d\u064e\u0645\u06e1\u0644\u064f\u0647\u06d7 \u0648\u064e\u0641\u0650\u0635\u0670\u0644\u064f\u0647\u06d7 \u062b\u064e\u0644\u0670\u0640\u062b\u064f\u0648\u06e1\u0646\u064e \u0634\u064e\u0647\u06e1\u0631\u064b\u0627\u200c \u0615 \u062d\u064e\u062a\u0651\u0670\u0653\u0649 \u0627\u0650\u0630\u064e\u0627 \u0628\u064e\u0644\u064e\u063a\u064e \u0627\u064e\u0634\u064f\u062f\u0651\u064e\u0647\u0657 \u0648\u064e\u0628\u064e\u0644\u064e\u063a\u064e \u0627\u064e\u0627\u0631\u06e1\u0628\u064e\u0639\u0650\u064a\u06e1\u0646\u064e \u0633\u064e\u0646\u064e\u0629\u064b\u2002 \u06d9 \u0642\u064e\u0627\u0644\u064e \u0631\u064e\u0628\u0651\u0650 \u0627\u064e\u0648\u06e1\u0632\u0650\u0639\u06e1\u0646\u0650\u0649\u06e1\u06e4 \u0627\u064e\u0646\u06e1 \u0627\u064e\u0634\u06e1\u0643\u064f\u0631\u06e1 \u0646\u0650\u0639\u06e1\u0645\u064e\u062a\u064e\u0643\u064e \u0627\u0644\u0651\u064e\u062a\u0650\u0649\u06e1\u06e4 \u0627\u064e\u0646\u06e1\u0639\u064e\u0645\u06e1\u062a\u064e \u0639\u064e\u0644\u064e\u0649\u0651\u064e \u0648\u064e\u0639\u064e\u0644\u0670\u0649 \u0648\u064e\u0627\u0644\u0650\u062f\u064e\u0649\u0651\u064e \u0648\u064e\u0627\u064e\u0646\u06e1 \u0627\u064e\u0639\u06e1\u0645\u064e\u0644\u064e \u0635\u064e\u0627\u0644\u0650\u062d\u064b\u0627 \u062a\u064e\u0631\u06e1\u0636\u0670\u066e\u0647\u064f \u0648\u064e\u0627\u064e\u0635\u06e1\u0644\u0650\u062d\u06e1 \u0644\u0650\u0649\u06e1 \u0641\u0650\u0649\u06e1 \u0630\u064f\u0631\u0651\u0650\u064a\u0651\u064e\u062a\u0650\u0649\u06e1 \u0615\u06da \u0627\u0650\u0646\u0651\u0650\u0649\u06e1 \u062a\u064f\u0628\u06e1\u062a\u064f \u0627\u0650\u0644\u064e\u064a\u06e1\u0643\u064e \u0648\u064e\u0627\u0650\u0646\u0651\u0650\u0649\u06e1 \u0645\u0650\u0646\u064e \u0627\u0644\u06e1\u0645\u064f\u0633\u06e1\u0644\u0650\u0645\u0650\u064a\u06e1\u0646\u064e<\/span><\/p>\n

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Hadith from Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 2244<\/span>
\n\u0639\u064e\u0646\u0652 \u0623\u064e\u0646\u064e\u0633\u064d \u0640 \u0631\u0636\u0649 \u0627\u0644\u0644\u0647 \u0639\u0646\u0647 \u0640 \u0642\u064e\u0627\u0644\u064e \u0642\u064e\u0627\u0644\u064e \u0631\u064e\u0633\u064f\u0648\u0644\u064f \u0627\u0644\u0644\u0651\u064e\u0647\u0650 \u0635\u0644\u0649 \u0627\u0644\u0644\u0647 \u0639\u0644\u064a\u0647 \u0648\u0633\u0644\u0645 \u200f”\u200f \u0627\u0646\u0652\u0635\u064f\u0631\u0652 \u0623\u064e\u062e\u064e\u0627\u0643\u064e \u0638\u064e\u0627\u0644\u0650\u0645\u064b\u0627 \u0623\u064e\u0648\u0652 \u0645\u064e\u0638\u0652\u0644\u064f\u0648\u0645\u064b\u0627 \u200f”\u200f\u200f.\u200f \u0642\u064e\u0627\u0644\u064f\u0648\u0627 \u064a\u064e\u0627 \u0631\u064e\u0633\u064f\u0648\u0644\u064e \u0627\u0644\u0644\u0651\u064e\u0647\u0650 \u0647\u064e\u0630\u064e\u0627 \u0646\u064e\u0646\u0652\u0635\u064f\u0631\u064f\u0647\u064f \u0645\u064e\u0638\u0652\u0644\u064f\u0648\u0645\u064b\u0627\u060c \u0641\u064e\u0643\u064e\u064a\u0652\u0641\u064e \u0646\u064e\u0646\u0652\u0635\u064f\u0631\u064f\u0647\u064f \u0638\u064e\u0627\u0644\u0650\u0645\u064b\u0627 \u0642\u064e\u0627\u0644\u064e \u200f”\u200f \u062a\u064e\u0623\u0652\u062e\u064f\u0630\u064f \u0641\u064e\u0648\u0652\u0642\u064e \u064a\u064e\u062f\u064e\u064a\u0652\u0647\u0650 \u200f”\u200f\u200f.\u200f<\/span><\/p>\n

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Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 3662<\/span>
\n\u0639\u064e\u0646\u0652 \u0623\u064e\u0628\u0650\u064a \u0623\u064f\u0645\u064e\u0627\u0645\u064e\u0629\u064e\u060c \u0623\u064e\u0646\u0651\u064e \u0631\u064e\u062c\u064f\u0644\u0627\u064b\u060c \u0642\u064e\u0627\u0644\u064e \u064a\u064e\u0627 \u0631\u064e\u0633\u064f\u0648\u0644\u064e \u0627\u0644\u0644\u0651\u064e\u0647\u0650 \u0645\u064e\u0627 \u062d\u064e\u0642\u0651\u064f \u0627\u0644\u0652\u0648\u064e\u0627\u0644\u0650\u062f\u064e\u064a\u0652\u0646\u0650 \u0639\u064e\u0644\u064e\u0649 \u0648\u064e\u0644\u064e\u062f\u0650\u0647\u0650\u0645\u064e\u0627 \u0642\u064e\u0627\u0644\u064e \u200f “\u200f \u0647\u064f\u0645\u064e\u0627 \u062c\u064e\u0646\u0651\u064e\u062a\u064f\u0643\u064e \u0648\u064e\u0646\u064e\u0627\u0631\u064f\u0643\u064e \u200f\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Fatwa ID: 08129   Answered by: Maulana Abdoullah Limvoonheek   Question:   \u0627\u0644\u062c\u0646\u0629 \u062a\u062d\u062a \u0623\u0642\u062f\u0627\u0645 \u0623\u0645\u0647\u0627\u062a\u0643\u0645 This question was received during a halaqa: How does…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35959"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=35959"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35959\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":38304,"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35959\/revisions\/38304"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=35959"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=35959"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=35959"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}