{"id":36595,"date":"2025-04-26T10:10:55","date_gmt":"2025-04-26T10:10:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/?p=36595"},"modified":"2025-05-14T16:29:58","modified_gmt":"2025-05-14T16:29:58","slug":"balancing-good-deeds-and-parental-guidance","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/balancing-good-deeds-and-parental-guidance\/","title":{"rendered":"Balancing Good Deeds and Parental Guidance"},"content":{"rendered":"

Fatwa ID: 07979<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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Answered by: Maulana Kawsar Ahmed<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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Question:<\/u><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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I pray this message finds you in the best of health and imaan.<\/span><\/p>\n

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I was wondering what should be prioritised: doing good deeds or listening to your parents. For example, if your parents ask you to study instead of going to an Islamic class.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Or if your parents ask you to not follow the sunnah of having a hard bed to make it easy to wake up for tahajjud. They are advising you to have a softer bed because they think it will be better for your back.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Or if they are advising you not to volunteer\/help others as this is a waste of time in their opinion.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Or if you would like to spend money on and wake up early to do Arabic lessons but they think it is a waste of money and that you shouldn\u2019t wake up so early.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Please could you offer some tips.<\/span><\/p>\n

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In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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Answer:<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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Firstly, it is important to note that striving to please one\u2019s parents, being kind, gentle, and dutiful to them is greatly emphasised in Islam, so important that Allah has reminded us of this duty in the context of mentioning his Oneness, which is the core of a person\u2019s faith. Allah The Exalted mentions in the Qur\u2019an: \u201cFor your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And honour your parents. If one or both of them reach old age in your care, never say to them \u02f9even\u02fa \u2018ugh,\u2019 nor yell at them. Rather, address them respectfully.\u201d[1] \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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We can also understand from this verse and many other Quranic verses and Prophetic statements that it is a major sin to be disrespectful, ill-mannered, and harsh to one’s parents.<\/span><\/p>\n

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However, the scholars have not left this issue of obedience to the parents unrestricted; rather, they have mentioned certain rules and guidelines that ought to be considered when it comes to this matter.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Firstly, we have to understand that absolute submission, in totality without any qualification, is reserved only for Allah The Exalted and that which he has taught mankind through his Messengers (May Peace Be Upon Them All).<\/span><\/p>\n

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The Prophet (saw) has said: \u201cThere is no obedience to any created being if it involves disobedience to the Creator.\u201d[2]<\/span><\/p>\n

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The scholars of Islam have also provided more insight into this issue and have essentially said that:<\/span><\/p>\n

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