{"id":36598,"date":"2025-04-26T09:18:05","date_gmt":"2025-04-26T09:18:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/?p=36598"},"modified":"2025-05-14T12:10:34","modified_gmt":"2025-05-14T12:10:34","slug":"parents-not-happy-with-the-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/parents-not-happy-with-the-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"Informing Her Ex-Husband That She is Keeping the Baby"},"content":{"rendered":"

Fatwa ID: 07978<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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Answered by Maulana Nuski Cassim<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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Question:<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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A relative has requested guidance and advice regarding her situation stated below. Apologies in advance as it is quite a long message.<\/span><\/p>\n

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The following is a statement of her current situation.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Nikkah done on September 3rd, we both wanted to make the relationship halal and at the time, my parents were not happy with the choice as he was black.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Began to stay with the man soon as nikkah was done and found at the end of October that we were expecting a child. Since expecting, the man became very territorial and controlling. Using Islam to say I couldn\u2019t wear makeup, but then failed to practice Islam properly himself (he is a revert) He kept trying to learn and relied too much on other people to teach him but I kept telling him he needed to seek out help himself but he would say things like \u201cI\u2019m trying, it\u2019s not going to change overnight\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

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He did reduce a lot of bad habits such as going out and drinking but then would very easily fall back into it, again using the excuse \u201cI\u2019m trying but it\u2019s not a change that\u2019ll happen overnight\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

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In December, we started to face a lot of issues, arguing a lot, and because he felt disrespected and emasculated, he began to seek out attention from other women, started going out again and falling back into bad habits.<\/span><\/p>\n

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At this point, just before new year, we agreed to fix our relationship and make it work for the sake of the child and he did improve (there was no other women, didn\u2019t go out, wasn\u2019t drinking) until; in January, He found out that I had messaged someone from my past a few months back to let them know that I had moved on and they should not try to contact me anymore.<\/span><\/p>\n

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As I hid this from him, his pride and ego was hurt and so he continued speaking to other women. One night he decided to go out with his friends to watch a UFC match, where he ended up at a rave somehow, and got into a fight. His jaw was broken and ended up in hospital.<\/span><\/p>\n

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I went to be by his side, he was kept in overnight due to be operated the next morning. While he was in his operation, I had to take care of his phone, where I found multiple women messaging him and one was a woman who he had met the night he got into a fight. I called this woman to ask what was going on and she confirmed that they had known each other from previous and happened to bump into each other while he was out and she was there when he got his jaw broken. She said nothing had happened between them and that he was honest about his marriage to me and told her he was expecting a child and spoke respectfully about me.<\/span><\/p>\n

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I was very hurt and betrayed that they were still in contact despite me spending all day by his side while he was in hospital from the day before. When I got the call that he was out of surgery, I went back to the ward where he was transferred back and waited a few minutes to get him settled before the confrontation. He was angry that I had messaged all these women and went through his phone while he was in operation and we began to argue.<\/span><\/p>\n

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I said that it was good that I had been through it otherwise I would not have known that he was messaging these women and telling them that he would see them once he\u2019s better and recovered. He again blamed me for messaging the other person a few months ago and used that as an excuse for his behaviour saying that his ego was hurt and he felt like I didn\u2019t deserve his loyalty.<\/span><\/p>\n

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I told him I was done with the marriage and that he should divorce me as loyalty is not something I am willing to compromise in a marriage and in general, his actions of going out, partying and fighting were not Islamic and was not something I wanted in a spouse. He responded with saying that he couldn\u2019t and didn\u2019t want to divorce me because I am carrying his child.<\/span><\/p>\n

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I told him I will abort the child because I don\u2019t want the child as a constant reminder of this marriage or of him and it will just hurt me to remember everything I\u2019ve seen on his phone. I told him I wanted nothing to do with him and begged him to say he is divorcing me three times. He said \u201cI divorce you, I divorce you, I divorce you\u2026Are you happy now, I\u2019ve said it!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

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I left the hospital right away.<\/span><\/p>\n

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I have not terminated the pregnancy but he doesn\u2019t know that.<\/span><\/p>\n

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1. Is she under obligation to inform her ex husband that she is keeping the baby.<\/span><\/p>\n

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2. Is the divorce valid as she asked for divorce under the premise that she was terminating the pregnancy (but she hasn\u2019t)<\/span><\/p>\n

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3. Can she return to her husband as she was pregnant when he issued divorce verbally 3 times and he wasn\u2019t exactly sure as to what was happening. He also gave divorce reluctantly and under the insistence of his wife.<\/span><\/p>\n

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In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful<\/u><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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Answer:<\/u><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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She is not necessarily under obligation to inform her ex-husband. Whether this is a good idea or not is something one should reflect deeply over\u2014what are the pros and cons of not informing him, and what consequences will [delivery of] this child bear?[1]<\/span><\/p>\n

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The divorce is valid as this premise carries no bearing.[2]<\/span><\/p>\n

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She is unable to return to her ex-husband as he is haram for her. The sister would need to re-marry someone else, and if she becomes divorced again, only then can she marry her initial ex-husband.[3]<\/span><\/p>\n

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Only Allah knows best.<\/span><\/p>\n

Written by Maulana Nuski Cassim<\/span><\/p>\n

Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah<\/span><\/p>\n

Darul Ifta Birmingham<\/span><\/p>\n

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1.<\/span><\/p>\n

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[\u0631\u062f \u0627\u0644\u0645\u062d\u062a\u0627\u0631\u060c \u0628\u0627\u0628 \u0646\u0643\u0627\u062d \u0627\u0644\u0631\u0642\u064a\u0642\u060c \u062c. \u0664\u060c \u0635\u0641\u062d\u0629 \u0663\u0663\u0665\u060c \u0645\u0643\u062a\u0628\u0629 \u0631\u0634\u064a\u062f\u064a\u0629]<\/span><\/p>\n

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\u0648\u0647\u0644 \u064a\u0628\u0627\u062d \u0627\u0644\u0627\u0633\u0642\u0627\u0637 \u0628\u0639\u062f \u0627\u0644\u062d\u0628\u0644\u061f \u064a\u0628\u0627\u062d \u0645\u0627 \u0644\u0645 \u064a\u062a\u062e\u0644\u0642 \u0634\u064a\u0621 \u0645\u0646\u0647 \u062b\u0645 \u0641\u064a \u063a\u064a\u0631 \u0645\u0648\u0636\u0639\u060c \u0642\u0627\u0644\u0648: \u0648\u0644\u0627 \u064a\u0643\u0648\u0646 \u0630\u0644\u0643 \u0625\u0644\u0627 \u0628\u0639\u062f \u0645\u0627\u0626\u0629 \u0648\u0639\u0634\u0631\u064a\u0646 \u064a\u0648\u0645\u0627\u060c \u0648\u0647\u0630\u0627 \u064a\u0642\u062a\u0636\u064a \u0623\u0646\u0647\u0645 \u0623\u0631\u0627\u062f\u0648\u0627 \u0628\u0627\u0644\u062a\u062e\u0644\u064a\u0642 \u0646\u0641\u062e \u0627\u0644\u0631\u0648\u062d \u0648\u0625\u0644\u0627 \u0641\u0647\u0648 \u063a\u0644\u0637.<\/span><\/p>\n

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[\u0627\u0644\u0647\u062f\u0627\u064a\u0629 \u0634\u0631\u062d \u0628\u062f\u0627\u064a\u0629 \u0627\u0644\u0645\u0628\u062a\u062f\u064a \u0645\u0639 \u0641\u062a\u062d \u0627\u0644\u0642\u062f\u064a\u0631\u060c \u0643\u062a\u0627\u0628 \u0627\u0644\u0646\u0643\u0627\u062d\u060c \u0628\u0627\u0628 \u0646\u0643\u0627\u062d \u0627\u0644\u0631\u0642\u064a\u0642\u060c \u062c. \u0662\u060c \u0635\u0641\u062d\u0629 \u0668\u0663\u0665\u060c \u0645\u0643\u062a\u0628\u0629 \u0627\u0644\u0628\u0634\u0631\u0649]<\/span><\/p>\n

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\u0648\u0641\u064a \u0627\u0644\u0641\u062a\u062d \u0627\u0644\u0642\u062f\u064a\u0631 \u0648\u0647\u0644 \u064a\u0628\u0627\u062d \u0627\u0644\u0627\u0633\u0642\u0627\u0637 \u0628\u0639\u062f \u0627\u0644\u062d\u0628\u0644\u061f \u064a\u0628\u0627\u062d \u0645\u0627 \u0644\u0645 \u064a\u062a\u062e\u0644\u0642 \u0634\u064a\u0621 \u0645\u0646\u0647 \u062b\u0645 \u0641\u064a \u063a\u064a\u0631 \u0645\u0648\u0636\u0639 \u0648\u0644\u0627 \u064a\u0643\u0648\u0646 \u0630\u0644\u0643 \u0625\u0644\u0627 \u0628\u0639\u062f \u0645\u0627\u0626\u0629 \u0648\u0639\u0634\u0631\u064a\u0646 \u064a\u0648\u0645\u0627\u060c \u0648\u0647\u0630\u0627 \u064a\u0642\u062a\u0636\u064a \u0623\u0646\u0647\u0645 \u0623\u0631\u0627\u062f\u0648\u0627 \u0628\u0627\u0644\u062a\u062e\u0644\u064a\u0642 \u0646\u0641\u062e \u0627\u0644\u0631\u0648\u062d\u060c \u0648\u0625\u0644\u0627 \u0641\u0647\u0648 \u063a\u0644\u0637 \u0644\u0627\u0646 \u0627\u0644\u062a\u062e\u0644\u064a\u0642 \u064a\u062a\u062d\u0642\u0642 \u0628\u0627\u0644\u0645\u0634\u0627\u0647\u062f\u0629 \u0642\u0628\u0644 \u0647\u0630\u0647 \u0627\u0644\u0645\u062f\u0629.<\/span><\/p>\n

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[\u0627\u0644\u0628\u062d\u0631 \u0627\u0644\u0631\u0627\u0626\u0642\u060c \u0643\u062a\u0627\u0628 \u0627\u0644\u0646\u0643\u0627\u062d\u060c \u0628\u0627\u0628 \u0646\u0643\u0627\u062d \u0627\u0644\u0631\u0642\u064a\u0642\u060c \u062c. \u0663\u060c \u0635\u0641\u062d\u0629 \u0663\u0664\u0669\u060c \u0645\u0643\u062a\u0628\u0629 \u0631\u0634\u064a\u062f\u064a\u0629]<\/span><\/p>\n

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2.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u200f\u062b\u064e\u0644\u0627\u064e\u062b\u064c \u062c\u0650\u062f\u0651\u064f\u0647\u064f\u0646\u0651\u064e \u062c\u0650\u062f\u0651\u064c \u0648\u064e\u0647\u064e\u0632\u0652\u0644\u064f\u0647\u064f\u0646\u0651\u064e \u062c\u0650\u062f\u0651\u064c \u0627\u0644\u0646\u0651\u0650\u0643\u064e\u0627\u062d\u064f \u0648\u064e\u0627\u0644\u0637\u0651\u064e\u0644\u0627\u064e\u0642\u064f \u0648\u064e\u0627\u0644\u0631\u0651\u064e\u062c\u0652\u0639\u064e\u0629\u064f<\/span><\/p>\n

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[\u0633\u0646\u0646 \u0623\u0628\u064a \u062f\u0627\u0648\u062f\u060c \u0631\u0642\u0645 \u0627\u0644\u062d\u062f\u064a\u062b: \u0662\u0661\u0669\u0664]<\/span><\/p>\n

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\u0648\u064a\u0642\u0639 \u0637\u0644\u0627\u0642 \u0643\u0644 \u0631\u0648\u062c \u0628\u0627\u0644\u063a \u0639\u0627\u0642\u0644\u061b \u0648\u0644\u0648 \u062a\u0642\u062f\u064a\u0631\u0627 \u0628\u062f\u0627\u0626\u0639\u060c \u0644\u064a\u062f\u062e\u0644 \u0627\u0644\u0633\u0643\u0631\u0627\u0646 \u0648\u0644\u0648 \u0639\u0628\u062f\u0627 \u0623\u0648 \u0645\u064f\u0643\u0652\u0631\u0647\u0627 \u0641\u0625\u0646 \u0637\u0644\u0627\u0642\u0647 \u0635\u062d\u064a\u062d \u0644\u0627 \u0625\u0642\u0631\u0627\u0631\u0647 \u0628\u0627\u0644\u0637\u0644\u0627\u0642<\/span><\/p>\n

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\u0642\u0648\u0644\u0647 \u0641\u0625\u0646 \u0637\u0644\u0627\u0642\u0647 \u0635\u062d\u064a\u062d\u061b \u0623\u064a \u0637\u0644\u0627\u0642 \u0627\u0644\u0645\u0643\u0631\u0647\u060c \u0648\u0634\u0645\u0644 \u0645\u0627 \u0625\u0630\u0627 \u0623\u0643\u0631\u0647 \u0639\u0644\u0649 \u0627\u0644\u062a\u0648\u0643\u064a\u0644 \u0628\u0627\u0644\u0637\u0644\u0627\u0642 \u0641\u0648\u0643\u0651\u0644 \u0641\u0637\u0644\u0651\u0642 \u0627\u0644\u0648\u0643\u064a\u0644 \u0641\u0627\u0646\u0647 \u064a\u0642\u0639.<\/span><\/p>\n

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[\u0631\u062f \u0627\u0644\u0645\u062d\u062a\u0627\u0631\u060c \u0643\u062a\u0627\u0628 \u0627\u0644\u0637\u0644\u0627\u0642\u060c \u062c. \u0664\u060c \u0635\u0641\u062d\u0629 \u0664\u0662\u0667\u060c \u0645\u0643\u062a\u0628\u0629 \u0631\u0634\u064a\u062f\u064a\u0629]<\/span><\/p>\n

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\u0648\u0639\u0644\u0649 \u0647\u0630\u0627 \u0637\u0644\u0627\u0642 \u0627\u0644\u0647\u0627\u0632\u0644 \u0648\u0637\u0644\u0627\u0642 \u0627\u0644\u062e\u0627\u0637\u0626 \u0648\u0627\u0642\u0639 \u0648\u0647\u0648 \u0623\u0646 \u064a\u0631\u064a\u062f \u0627\u0644\u0631\u062c\u0644 \u063a\u064a\u0631 \u0627\u0644\u0637\u0644\u0627\u0642 \u0641\u0633\u0628\u0642 \u0639\u0644\u0649 \u0644\u0633\u0627\u0646\u0647 \u0627\u0644\u0637\u0644\u0627\u0642 \u0648\u0627\u0644\u0639\u062a\u0627\u0642<\/span><\/p>\n

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[\u062a\u062d\u0641\u0629 \u0627\u0644\u0641\u0642\u0647\u0627\u0621\u060c \u0643\u062a\u0627\u0628 \u0627\u0644\u0637\u0644\u0627\u0642\u060c \u062c.\u0663\u060c \u0635\u0641\u062d\u0629 \u0662\u0666\u0669\u060c \u062f\u0627\u0631 \u0627\u0644\u0643\u062a\u0628 \u0627\u0644\u0639\u0644\u0645\u064a\u0629]<\/span><\/p>\n

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3.<\/span><\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Fatwa ID: 07978   Answered by Maulana Nuski Cassim   Question:   A relative has requested guidance and advice regarding her situation stated below. Apologies…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[11],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36598"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=36598"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36598\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":37268,"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36598\/revisions\/37268"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=36598"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=36598"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=36598"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}