{"id":39169,"date":"2025-10-28T12:53:06","date_gmt":"2025-10-28T12:53:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/?p=39169"},"modified":"2025-10-28T12:54:18","modified_gmt":"2025-10-28T12:54:18","slug":"ruling-on-performing-nikah-without-the-girls-guardian-due-to-parental-refusal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/ruling-on-performing-nikah-without-the-girls-guardian-due-to-parental-refusal\/","title":{"rendered":"Ruling On Performing Nikah Without The Girl\u2019s Guardian Due To Parental Refusal"},"content":{"rendered":"

Fatwa ID: 08436<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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Answered by: Maulana Sakib Shadman<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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Question:<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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I am a young Muslim man currently studying and trying to build a future. I also run a small business alongside my studies to support myself and prove to my family that I am trying to be responsible. I fell in love with a girl around July 2022. At the beginning, I\u2019ll admit my intentions weren\u2019t pure \u2014 I started flirting with her casually after seeing a photo of her in niqab. But as time passed, my love for her became deep and sincere. We both grew close emotionally, and my fear of Allah grew as well. I realized what we were doing was wrong, and I started pushing to make our relationship halal through nikah.<\/span><\/p>\n

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However, both our families are against our marriage. Her father is extremely strict and harsh in behaviour \u2014 the kind of man you cannot even approach with a respectful proposal. Her mother already has a bad image of me and my family because we are from the same area, and she has heard many negative things \u2014 some true, some false. Because of this, they want her to marry someone older, financially stable, with a good family image.<\/span><\/p>\n

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My own family is also broken. My mother is emotionally immature and abusive, and she has made my life extremely difficult. She will not accept any marriage I choose, especially not one that I truly want. My father isn\u2019t in the picture in any healthy or supportive way.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Because of all this, I told the girl that we could do a valid nikah ourselves, with witnesses, even if the parents don\u2019t agree right now \u2014 based on the Hanafi opinion that a wali is not a condition for validity. I made it clear that I only want to do this to avoid fitnah, to make things halal and protect both of us. After the nikah, we will stay separately at our own parents’ homes until we are stable enough to announce it officially and seek their acceptance.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But she is afraid that without her father\u2019s permission, the marriage will not be accepted by Allah. She is scared, emotionally overwhelmed, and she doesn\u2019t want to separate from me \u2014 yet also doesn\u2019t feel safe or confident enough to go against her parents. She has a soft heart, but also struggles with anger and inner pain.<\/span><\/p>\n

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We both are struggling. I tried staying away from her, not talking even for a day \u2014 and it felt like I was dying inside. I couldn\u2019t even think straight. I cried to Allah for sabr but my heart kept collapsing. I truly love her and want to save our relationship from haram. She feels the same, but she\u2019s scared.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Please, I am begging for your guidance:<\/span><\/p>\n

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    \n
  1. In this situation, can we get married without her wali\u2019s approval?<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

     <\/p>\n

      \n
    1. Will the nikah be valid if we both consent and have proper witnesses?<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

       <\/p>\n

        \n
      1. Is it sinful to marry in this way with the intention to inform the parents later once we are more stable?<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

         <\/p>\n

          \n
        1. Am I wrong for pushing for this out of fear of falling into zina or emotional damage?<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

           <\/p>\n

            \n
          1. What would be the best Islamic way forward for us both, considering our families, emotional states, and intentions?<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

             <\/p>\n

             <\/p>\n

            In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

             <\/p>\n

            Answer:<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

             <\/p>\n

            Question 1 & 2) Just because something is valid, it does not mean that it is a good idea. You would not wish for any of your female Mahrams to marry without their guardian\u2019s consent. You have to remember that this girl is also someone else’s daughter, and while you may consider her father to be strict, it is more than likely that he has her best interests in mind. You mentioned you have a somewhat negative reputation. You should understand that the girl’s father does not want you to marry her due to this reason. Hence you should cut all contact with this girl and find a spouse who’s family approves of you.<\/span><\/p>\n

             <\/p>\n

            Furthermore, even though Nikah without Wali is valid in the Hanafi Madhab, that is only half of the ruling. The other half is that if the husband is not compatible with the wife, the girl’s Wali has full right to annul your marriage according to Shariah. Compatibility can be in terms of Deen\/Taqwa, Financial status, one’s trade\/ profession, Nobility of one’s lineage, etc. You mentioned you are earning money but it seems as though you are not financially stable as of yet. This this could be a reason for the girl’s guardian to annul this marriage if their family is wealthier than you.<\/span><\/p>\n

             <\/p>\n

            3) Of course, various complications and negative consequences will occur if you marry each other in this way. This will lead to family breakdowns and animosity. This will further lead to serious sins being committed by you, the girl, and both of your families. This includes severing ties of kinship, upsetting your parents, and quarrelling with family.<\/span><\/p>\n

             <\/p>\n

            Please also consider the Hadith of Sahih Muslim;<\/span><\/p>\n

            \u201cWhoever acts dishonestly towards us is not one of us.\u201d<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

            \u00a0<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

            You will be acting dishonestly towards both your family and the girl’s family by going ahead with this Nikah.<\/span><\/p>\n

             <\/p>\n

            4) If you fear Zina, cut off all ties with this girl and all other girls. Kindly ask your mother to find a suitable spouse and be content with whichever spouse Allah Ta’ala provides for you.<\/span><\/p>\n

             <\/p>\n

            5) The best way forward according to our Deen is to respect the wishes of your family and the girl’s family. Please cut off ties with the girl, focus on your Deen, your studies and career\/business; and when the time is right, inshaAllah your family will find a suitable spouse for you.<\/span><\/p>\n

             <\/p>\n

             <\/p>\n

            References:<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

             <\/p>\n

            \u062d\u064e\u062f\u0651\u064e\u062b\u064e\u0646\u064e\u0627 \u0642\u064f\u062a\u064e\u064a\u0652\u0628\u064e\u0629\u064f \u0628\u0652\u0646\u064f \u0633\u064e\u0639\u0650\u064a\u062f\u064d\u060c \u062d\u064e\u062f\u0651\u064e\u062b\u064e\u0646\u064e\u0627 \u064a\u064e\u0639\u0652\u0642\u064f\u0648\u0628\u064f\u060c – \u0648\u064e\u0647\u064f\u0648\u064e \u0627\u0628\u0652\u0646\u064f \u0639\u064e\u0628\u0652\u062f\u0650 \u0627\u0644\u0631\u0651\u064e\u062d\u0652\u0645\u064e\u0646\u0650 \u0627\u0644\u0652\u0642\u064e\u0627\u0631\u0650\u064a\u0651\u064f \u062d \u0648\u064e\u062d\u064e\u062f\u0651\u064e\u062b\u064e\u0646\u064e\u0627 \u0623\u064e\u0628\u064f\u0648 \u0627\u0644\u0623\u064e\u062d\u0652\u0648\u064e\u0635\u0650\u060c \u0645\u064f\u062d\u064e\u0645\u0651\u064e\u062f\u064f \u0628\u0652\u0646\u064f \u062d\u064e\u064a\u0651\u064e\u0627\u0646\u064e \u062d\u064e\u062f\u0651\u064e\u062b\u064e\u0646\u064e\u0627 \u0627\u0628\u0652\u0646\u064f \u0623\u064e\u0628\u0650\u064a \u062d\u064e\u0627\u0632\u0650\u0645\u064d\u060c \u0643\u0650\u0644\u0627\u064e\u0647\u064f\u0645\u064e\u0627 \u0639\u064e\u0646\u0652 \u0633\u064f\u0647\u064e\u064a\u0652\u0644\u0650 \u0628\u0652\u0646\u0650 \u0623\u064e\u0628\u0650\u064a \u0635\u064e\u0627\u0644\u0650\u062d\u064d\u060c \u0639\u064e\u0646\u0652 \u0623\u064e\u0628\u0650\u064a\u0647\u0650\u060c \u0639\u064e\u0646\u0652 \u0623\u064e\u0628\u0650\u064a \u0647\u064f\u0631\u064e\u064a\u0652\u0631\u064e\u0629\u064e\u060c \u0623\u064e\u0646\u0651\u064e \u0631\u064e\u0633\u064f\u0648\u0644\u064e \u0627\u0644\u0644\u0651\u064e\u0647\u0650 \u0635\u0644\u0649 \u0627\u0644\u0644\u0647 \u0639\u0644\u064a\u0647 \u0648\u0633\u0644\u0645 \u0642\u064e\u0627\u0644\u064e \u200f “\u200f \u0645\u064e\u0646\u0652 \u062d\u064e\u0645\u064e\u0644\u064e \u0639\u064e\u0644\u064e\u064a\u0652\u0646\u064e\u0627 \u0627\u0644\u0633\u0651\u0650\u0644\u0627\u064e\u062d\u064e \u0641\u064e\u0644\u064e\u064a\u0652\u0633\u064e \u0645\u0650\u0646\u0651\u064e\u0627 \u0648\u064e\u0645\u064e\u0646\u0652 \u063a\u064e\u0634\u0651\u064e\u0646\u064e\u0627 \u0641\u064e\u0644\u064e\u064a\u0652\u0633\u064e \u0645\u0650\u0646\u0651\u064e\u0627 \u200f”\u200f \u200f.\u200f<\/span><\/p>\n

             <\/p>\n

            It is narrated on the authority of Abu Huraira that the Messenger of Allah (\ufdfa) observed: He who took up arms against us is not of us and he who acted dishonestly towards us is not of us.<\/span><\/p>\n

             <\/p>\n

            Sahih Muslim 101<\/span><\/p>\n

            Chapter 43: The Saying of the prophet (saws): “Whoever deceives us is not one of us.”, Book 1: The Book of Faith<\/span><\/p>\n

            https:\/\/sunnah.com\/muslim:101<\/a><\/u><\/span><\/p>\n

             <\/p>\n

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            ——–<\/span><\/p>\n

            \u063584 – \u0643\u062a\u0627\u0628 \u062d\u0627\u0634\u064a\u0629 \u0627\u0628\u0646 \u0639\u0627\u0628\u062f\u064a\u0646 \u0631\u062f \u0627\u0644\u0645\u062d\u062a\u0627\u0631 \u0637 \u0627\u0644\u062d\u0644\u0628\u064a – \u0641\u0631\u0639 \u0647\u0644 \u0644\u0648\u0644\u064a \u0645\u062c\u0646\u0648\u0646 \u0648\u0645\u0639\u062a\u0648\u0647 \u062a\u0632\u0648\u064a\u062c\u0647 \u0623\u0643\u062b\u0631 \u0645\u0646 \u0648\u0627\u062d\u062f\u0629 – \u0627\u0644\u0645\u0643\u062a\u0628\u0629 \u0627\u0644\u0634\u0627\u0645\u0644\u0629<\/span><\/p>\n

             <\/p>\n

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            ——–<\/span><\/p>\n

            \u0635292 – \u0643\u062a\u0627\u0628 \u0641\u062a\u062d \u0627\u0644\u0642\u062f\u064a\u0631 \u0644\u0644\u0643\u0645\u0627\u0644 \u0628\u0646 \u0627\u0644\u0647\u0645\u0627\u0645 \u0637 \u0627\u0644\u062d\u0644\u0628\u064a – \u0641\u0635\u0644 \u0641\u064a \u0627\u0644\u0643\u0641\u0627\u0621\u0629 – \u0627\u0644\u0645\u0643\u062a\u0628\u0629 \u0627\u0644\u0634\u0627\u0645\u0644\u0629<\/span><\/p>\n

             <\/p>\n

            \u0627\u0644\u0643\u0641\u0627\u0621\u0629 \u0625\u0646\u0651\u0645\u0627 \u062a\u0639\u062a\u0628\u0631 \u0641\u064a \u062e\u0645\u0633\u0629 \u0623\u0634\u064a\u0627\u0621 \u0641\u064a \u0627\u0644\u0646\u0651\u0633\u0628 \u0648\u0627\u0644\u062d\u0631\u064a\u0629 \u0648\u0627\u0644\u0643\u0641\u0627\u0621\u0629 \u0645\u0646 \u062d\u064a\u062b \u0627\u0644\u0645\u0627\u0644 \u0648\u0627\u0644\u0643\u0641\u0627\u0621\u0629 \u0641\u064a \u0627\u0644\u062d\u0631\u0641.<\/span><\/p>\n

            ——–<\/span><\/p>\n

            \u063569 – \u0643\u062a\u0627\u0628 \u0627\u0644\u0646\u0647\u0627\u064a\u0629 \u0641\u064a \u0634\u0631\u062d \u0627\u0644\u0647\u062f\u0627\u064a\u0629 \u0627\u0644\u0633\u063a\u0646\u0627\u0642\u064a – \u0641\u0635\u0644 \u0641\u064a \u0627\u0644\u0623\u0643\u0641\u0627\u0621 – \u0627\u0644\u0645\u0643\u062a\u0628\u0629 \u0627\u0644\u0634\u0627\u0645\u0644\u0629<\/span><\/p>\n

             <\/p>\n

            \u0646\u0641\u0630 \u0646\u0643\u0627\u062d \u062d\u0631\u0629 \u0645\u0643\u0644\u0641\u0629 \u0628\u0644\u0627 \u0648\u0644\u064a\u060c \u0648\u0644\u0627 \u062a\u062c\u0628\u0631 \u0628\u0643\u0631 \u0628\u0627\u0644\u063a\u0629 \u0639\u0644\u0649 \u0627\u0644\u0646\u0643\u0627\u062d<\/span><\/p>\n

            ——–<\/span><\/p>\n

            \u0635202 – \u0643\u062a\u0627\u0628 \u0627\u0644\u0646\u0647\u0631 \u0627\u0644\u0641\u0627\u0626\u0642 \u0634\u0631\u062d \u0643\u0646\u0632 \u0627\u0644\u062f\u0642\u0627\u0626\u0642 – \u0628\u0627\u0628 \u0627\u0644\u0623\u0648\u0644\u064a\u0627\u0621 \u0648\u0627\u0644\u0623\u0643\u0641\u0627\u0621 – \u0627\u0644\u0645\u0643\u062a\u0628\u0629 \u0627\u0644\u0634\u0627\u0645\u0644\u0629<\/span><\/p>\n

             <\/p>\n

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\u0648\u064e\u0644\u0650\u0642\u064e\u0648\u0652\u0644\u0650\u0647\u0650 – \u0639\u064e\u0644\u064e\u064a\u0652\u0647\u0650 \u0627\u0644\u0635\u064e\u0651\u0644\u064e\u0627\u0629\u064f \u0648\u064e\u0627\u0644\u0633\u064e\u0651\u0644\u064e\u0627\u0645\u064f – \u00ab\u0644\u064e\u0627 \u0646\u0650\u0643\u064e\u0627\u062d\u064e \u0625\u0644\u064e\u0651\u0627 \u0628\u0650\u0648\u064e\u0644\u0650\u064a\u064d\u0651 \u0648\u064e\u0634\u064e\u0627\u0647\u0650\u062f\u064e\u064a\u0652 \u0639\u064e\u062f\u0652\u0644\u064d\u00bb<\/span><\/p>\n

            ——–<\/span><\/p>\n

            \u0635117 – \u0643\u062a\u0627\u0628 \u062a\u0628\u064a\u064a\u0646 \u0627\u0644\u062d\u0642\u0627\u0626\u0642 \u0634\u0631\u062d \u0643\u0646\u0632 \u0627\u0644\u062f\u0642\u0627\u0626\u0642 \u0648\u062d\u0627\u0634\u064a\u0629 \u0627\u0644\u0634\u0644\u0628\u064a – \u0628\u0627\u0628 \u0627\u0644\u0623\u0648\u0644\u064a\u0627\u0621 \u0648\u0627\u0644\u0623\u0643\u0641\u0627\u0621 – \u0627\u0644\u0645\u0643\u062a\u0628\u0629 \u0627\u0644\u0634\u0627\u0645\u0644\u0629<\/span><\/p>\n

             <\/p>\n

             <\/p>\n

            Only Allah (\u0639\u0632 \u0648 \u062c\u0644) knows best.<\/span><\/p>\n

            Written by Maulana Sakib Shadman<\/span><\/p>\n

            Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah<\/span><\/p>\n

            Darul Ifta Birmingham<\/span><\/p>\n

             <\/p>\n

             <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

            Fatwa ID: 08436     Answered by: Maulana Sakib Shadman   Question:   I am a young Muslim man currently studying and trying to build…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[11],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39169"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=39169"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39169\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":39172,"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39169\/revisions\/39172"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=39169"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=39169"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=39169"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}