Keeping in contact with a girl with the intention to marry

CategoriesMarriage [575]

Is it permissible to be in contact with a female with the hope of marriage in the future (not agreed with her).  You admire here because of her deeni knowledge and personality, her love for Allah and rasool s.a.w. Your intention is to propose once the time is right in the future. Contact only via email. Never heard voice. Never seen image. Dont even know real name.
Admire her only for the pleasure of Allah and the intention is to propose when time is 'right'. She might be even be a fake person thats how less information I know about her.

Is it permissible to keep in consistent contact?

In the name of Allah, the most Beneficent, the most Merciful. 

Answer

Before answering your question first of all we will look at the harms and severities of the sin of adultery and fornication in Islam.

  1. The Prophet of Allah Sallallahu Alahi Wasalam has said that whomsoever commits illegal sexual intercourse or consumes alcohol Allah shall extract from him the Iman (faith) just as how a person removes his clothes from his head. (Kanzul Ummal)
  2. The Prophet of Allah Sallallahu Alahi Wasalam has said, “Abstain from Zina for indeed it has four traits, it eradicates beauty from the face, it restricts sustenance, it angers Allah and entry into hell. (Kanzul Ummal)
  3. The Prophet of Allah Sallallahu Alahi Wasalam has said that Allah’s anger becomes intense upon the fornicators. (Kanzul Ummal)

Allah has forbidden adultery And He has forbidden the means that may lead to adultery, such a man speaking to a woman in a deceitful manner, and her speaking to him in a soft voice so as to tempt him and provoke his desire, so that he will fall in her trap – whether this is done in person, over the phone, via correspondence or in some other manner.

With regards to your question even though you may not have seen this girl or heard her voice but to prevent the means it will not be permissible to keep in contact with her through email. Shaitan is very clever and deceitful. He will initially put thoughts in your mind that you are doing this with good intentions and you will not realise that you are doing something unlawful and haram. Then eventually after keeping in contact with her by email Shaitan will then put a desire in your heart that I wish I can see her or hear her voice. In this way Shaitan instigates people into mischief and leads them to commit adultery.

Therefore, you should refrain from talking to and contacting this girl and seek Allah’s (SWA) forgiveness from it.  If you really want to marry her, you will have to go about it in a proper way.  Speak to your parents about the girl and if they are happy about her then arrange a meeting with the girl and her family.

Finally, remember to read Salatul Istikhara and ask Allah (SWA) to guide you.  If you were destined to marry this girl, it will happen.  Otherwise Allah (SWA) may have chosen someone more suitable for you.

Only Allah Knows Best

Mohammed Tosir Miah

Darul Ifta Birmingham.

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