Fatwa ID: 05425
Answered by: Maulana Syed Johir Miah
I am married to a man who already has a daughter who is now ما شاء الله (māshāʾallāh) 12years old.
She has half custody to her both parents, few days a week here and there. My question is this we know that her mom has a boyfriend, and in the beginning, it was restricted to have that man around her and now we got to know that her mom takes her when she goes out anywhere on a trip or his house, which is really unacceptable for me being a mom.
My husband got divorced when she was almost and the reason was her mom was involved in a haram relationship and my husband gave her a second chance but she didn’t give up that haram thing.
At last, he gave her divorce but she is still the same, now she stops her praying when she takes her out by saying that she can pray later.
The girl was crying when I was making her understand that she shouldn’t go with her mom when she goes with her boyfriend she is so scared of her mom that she couldn’t say no to her.
Can you please tell me what I and my husband should do to take her out of that haram thing?
We are so worried because we come to know how often that she is taking for few days for the beach every other week.
Please give us some suggestions to protect our daughter from that fitna.
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Jazak Allah Khair for voicing your concerns about your husband’s daughter from the previous marriage and showing great concern about her welfare.
Although her mother presents as a problem, do not let her behavior deter you from having a special relationship with the child.
It is haram to be in a relationship without marriage and as you mentioned, your husband divorced her due to her relationship with this man.
It seems like she is not amending her ways and now is still continuing with it, as a result of which is now affecting the daughter.
Spend quality time with your step-daughter and let her witness the virtues of Islam whilst she is with you, and she will be able to see the beauty of Islam through you.
Do not in any way say anything negative against her mother, rather focus on the child’s positive behavior and encourage her to try to strive for the good within her and her heritage as a Muslimah.
You can continue to teach your stepdaughter about Islam and the laws of Hijab, Mahram, and GhairMahram. This way she will understand the importance of it and slowly her love for Islam will increase. Once she understands, she will value it and not go with her mum when the boyfriend is there.
Teach her about the children of Islam and the life of Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) as a child and the stories of the children amongst the Sahaba.
Meanwhile, continue to pray to Allah (عز و جل)that He makes it easy for you and your family.
We make dua Allah (عز و جل)bless you and your family and eradicate this problem as soon as possible.
Hope this answers the question.
Only Allah knows best.
Written by Maulana Syed Johir Miah
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham