Marrying a pious person

CategoriesMarriage [603]

I come from Asian country and now live in London .I am more interested in a religious person than an educated person. I am also studying Hifzul Quran. Now two persons have purposed to me. One of person is not educated person but he is Hafiz Mulvi Mufti. And another person is a Doctor but he got deen. But I don’t think he has enough deen like a hafiz mufti person. So can you give me advice which proposal I should choose?

In the name of Allah, the most Beneficent, the most Merciful.

Answer

Saiduna Ali Radiallahu Anhu narrates that the Prophet of Allah Sallallahu Alahi Wasalam said, “O Ali! Never delay in 3 matters; Salaat – when it’s time is nigh; Janaaza – when it is ready (before you), an unmarried woman – when her Kuff (suitable partner) is found.” (Sunan Tirmizi p.43 v.1)

The Prophet of Allah Sallallahu Alahi Wasalam said, “Listen! Women should be married off only by their guardians and their marriage should take place only with suitable matches.” (Sunan Baihaqi)

Mufti Shafee (RA) has written in his Maariful Quran:

“Marriage (nikah) is a matter in which the absence of homogeneity in the temperaments of the spouses disturbs the purpose of marriage, disturbs the process of fulfilling each others rights and breeds mutual disputes.  Therefore, the Shari’ah has ordered that kafa’ah (mutual likeness) should be taken into consideration.  But, it never means that a man of high family background starts taking a man from a family lesser than him as low and mean.  In Islam, the criterion of low and high is based on Taqwa and love for one’s faith.  Whoever does not have it, no matter how noble his family is, he yet has no status in the sight of Allah. So this order to take kafaah (mutual equality) into consideration in marriages has been given only to keep the management of matters smooth and straight.

In a hadith, the Prophet of Allah Sallallahu Alahi Wasalam has been reported to have said that the nikah (marriage) of girls should invariably be through their guardians.  Modesty demands that her parents and guardians should handle this matter.  And he said that the nikah of girls should invariably be solemnized within their kuff (equal, like).  Though, the authority of this Hadith is weak but with the support from the reports and sayings of the noble Sahabah, it becomes worth being used as an argument.

In Kitab ul-Athar, Imam Muhammad (RA) has reported from Saiduna Umar Radiallahu Anhu saying: “I shall issue an operative order that no girl from some high and recognized family should be given in marriage to another having a lesser status.”  Similarly, Saidah Aishah Radiallahu Anha and Saiduna Anas Radiallahu Anhu have also stressed that Kafaah (likeness) should be taken into consideration in nikah (marriage) – as reported from several authorities. Imam Ibn Humam has also written about it in detail in Fath al-Qadir.

Hence, the outcome is that the consideration of kafa’ah (equalness and likeness) in nikah (marriage) is desirable in religion, so that the spouses live in accord and harmony.  But, should some other important consideration, more important than this kafaah, come up then it is permissible for the woman and her guardians that they surrender this right of theirs and marry in ghayr kuff, that is other than equal and like.  Particularly so when there is some religious consideration in sight – if so, it is better and more merit worthy to do so, as proved from several events pertaining to the noble Sahabah.  Incidentally, from this we also know that these events do not negate the basic premise of the issue of kafaah.” (p.160 & p.161 v.7)

The Prophet of Allah Salallahu Alahi Wasalam has said, “A lady is married for one of four reasons, wealth, rank, beauty or piety. Choose the possessor of piety and achieve success.” (Sahih Bukhari p.762 v.2)

Regarding this hadeeth, Hafiz Ibn Hajar (RA) has said in Fathul Bari: “And it is taken from this that one with a noble lineage, it is better for him to marry one with a noble lineage, unless the lineage contradicts with a religious woman, or one with noble lineage contradicts a non-religious woman, then the religious woman is chosen. And it is likewise in the other three traits.” (p.41 v.9)

From the aforementioned hadith the conclusion we can come to is that one should strive to marry someone knowledgeable and religious. The reason why our spouses should be knowledgeable of the deen is so that they will be able to lead the married life according to the commands of Allah (SWA). We should marry those whose habit, manners and characteristics pleases us.

Only Allah Knows Best

Mohammed Tosir Miah

Darul Ifta Birmingham

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