Fatwa ID: 04727
Answered by: Maulana Maruf Ahmed
I had my nikah last year but Ruksati is still pending. My husband is not treating me the way a husband should treat me. I had tried my best to be a pious wife but all in vain. I have lost my patience now. He always hurts me in one way or another without any mistake. He is jobless and blamed me for this. He is superstitious. Once he told me that I am unlucky for him. He hurts me with harsh words. He also defamed me once in front of his parents. Now I just want to know what should I do. I want me and my husband should live a happy life. How to create love and respect in my husband’s heart. Any Quranic verse or other solution in light of hadith and Quran only?
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
We are saddened to hear about your predicament and pray that Allah Ta’ala relieves you from it.
Although we have not heard both sides of the story, we will provide an answer based on your question.
In the aforementioned scenario, we can conclude that the husband is not fulfilling the basic rights of a wife. If you are determined to stay with him and make the marriage work, it is imperative that someone, preferably someone righteous and respected by your husband, speaks to him and explains the importance of fulfilling the rights of a spouse as well as the severity of his actions.
Constantly make du’a to Allah for his guidance. You may recite the following du’a from the Holy Qur’an:
“Our Lord! Grant unto us spouse and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead the righteous.” (25:74)
Many articles and lectures have been given on how spouses should maintain their love and affection after marriage.
Below is a link to a talk given by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah about choosing an ideal soulmate, where he also discusses the issue of maintaining a love for one’s spouse after marriage.
Only Allah Knows best.
Written by Maulana Maruf Ahmed
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham