Fatwa ID: 04701
Answered by: Mufti Jamal Ahmed
I have been married to a woman who is a revert to Islam. We had been married for a short time.
During our marriage, there were many complications with regards to what our expectations were of each other and what responsibilities we had towards each other. I found that there was little patience on both sides in accepting each other’s problems and needs. I gave her one divorce as a means of a warning for her to control her emotions and anger towards me. I reconciled the divorce immediately after a few days.
However, the conflicts continued and she started to ask me to give her divorce. I was trying to reconcile the matter and tried to find solutions to our problems. We even sought counseling from scholars in Islam to help guide us in our problems. We even used family and friends to mediate between us and help in reconciling our differences. Unfortunately due to conflicts between us constantly escalating she was forcing me to complete the divorce. I told her that I was not in agreement to give her divorce and wanted to try to work on our problems and relationship. She told me that she will go seek help from the Sharia council if I did not divorce her.
After I felt that there was no way to reconcile our differences and appease the situation I told her that in return for her Mehar I will complete the divorce as she was the one asking for a divorce and I was not instigating it this time. She agreed to these terms. I completed the divorce by giving her the remaining two divorces in one sitting.
She is currently going through her Iddah period, which I have been told by scholars is for three months. She has had a chance to reflect on what happened between us and is expressing her remorse for asking a divorce from me and is asking if I will accept her back and for me to re-marry her. I still have feelings for her and am thinking about what to do.
I have the following questions and seek your guidance in this matter of ours.
1) Given the above description where I gave her divorce in two different
settings, that is, one divorce on its own and then a few months after two divorces together on her insistence in asking for a divorce, is the divorce complete?
2) Will this be considered as Khula as she asked me to complete the divorce in return for her relinquishing her Mehar even though I gave her one divorce before without any compulsion and duress?
3) Will she have to complete her Iddah period and how long is this for?
4) If this is considered as Khula, what conditions are there for me to remarry her? That is will she have to marry someone else before being halal to re-marry me?
5) If this is not considered as Khula, then what are the conditions that I can remarry her?
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
In your case you have given your wife three divorces altogether, so now she is permanently separated from you. The only way to reunite is that she gets married to someone else and when he divorces her, only then you will be allowed to marry her.
If you have divorced her on the condition that she gives you some wealth and she agrees to that then she is obliged to give you that wealth.
She needs to complete the iddah period which is complete three menses. If she does not have menses then three complete months. If she is pregnant then her iddah is until her delivery. If the divorce was given whilst she was in menses then that particular menses will not count, so she has to wait for three menses after this one is over.
(وإن طلقها على مال) بأن قال لها: أنت طالق بألف، أو على ألف (فقبلت) في المجلس (وقع الطلاق، ولزمها المال) ؛ لأن الزوج يستبد بالطلاق تنجيزاً وتعليقاً وقد علقه بقبولها، والمرأة تملك التزام المال، لولايتها على نفسها، وملك النكاح مما يجوز الاعتياض عنه، وإن لم يكن مالا كالقصاص. هداية (وكان الطلاق بائناً) ، لأن بذل المال إنما كان لتسلم لها نفسها، وذلك بالبينونة.
Lubab fi Sharhil Kitab, vol.3, pg. 66, al Maktabatul Ilmiyah
– إذا طلق الرجل امرأته طلاقاً بائناً أو رجعياً أو وقعت الفرقة بينهما بغير طلاقٍ وهي حرةٌ ممن تحيض فعدتها ثلاثة أقراءٍ،(ممن تحيض فعدتها ثلاثة أقراء) كوامل من وقت الطلاق أو الفرقة، فلو طلقت في الحيض لم يُعدّ من العدة.
والأقراء: الحيض، وإن كانت لا تحيض من صغرٍ أو كبرٍ فعدتها ثلاثة أشهرٍ، وإن كانت حاملاً فعدتها أن تضع حملها،
Lubab fi Sharhil Kitab pg. 80 vol. 3 , Al Maktabah Ilmiyah
Only Allah knows best
Written by Mufti Jamal Ahmed
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham