Fatwa ID: 04834
Answered by: Maulana Tammim Tharik Mohamadou
Recently I have found out that my husband of 1 year is speaking to a certain girl on the social media app Snapchat when confronted he told me that it was a colleague and was wanting to ask regarding work. The message I saw and confronted him was from him asking her if she has gone to sleep yet at 3 am which I found very suspicious and inappropriate. he made me believe him that it was definitely about work and I have nothing to worry about as he will not dare think about other women. I believed him for a while until I looked through his phone again only to find out he had muted her story and message alerts which obviously is suspicious in all matters. why would anyone do that unless hiding something? we had a long discussion about this, and he kept telling me he loved me more than anything. as much as I want to believe him my heart simply does not. I do not know what to do. I cannot keep asking him and crying to him either, it is getting ridiculous.
One thing I forgot to mention is that prior to this I had never suspected him of anything. I mean he spends all his time with me, so this is what is confusing me whether he is telling the truth or not but him muting her notifications just simply does not add up.
Maybe it is my waswasa, please do give advice. I love him dearly and do not want anything to come into our marriage especially involving trust.
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
The institution of marriage is built upon trust.
Allah ﷻ says “(the believers are also) those who are true to their trusts and covenants;” (Surah Al-Mu’minoon, v8)
So, it is important to keep the trust between the couple and overlook errors to each other.
It is reported in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad of Imam Al Bukhari the following narrations:
Abu Sa’id (رضي الله عنه) said that the Prophet (ﷺ) said: “Someone who does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.” (n.95)
‘Umar (رضي الله عنه) was heard to say: “Anyone who does not show mercy will not be shown mercy. Anyone who does not forgive will not be forgiven. Anyone who does not pardon will not be pardoned or protected.” (n.371)
Therefore, you have discussed with your husband and he confirmed you that there is nothing to be worried about, so we advise you to trust him, to not look into his phone without his permission (no spying), evacuate all bad thoughts, and rely upon Allah ﷻ.
Indeed, Shaytan the cursed and Nafs are there to crush the couple and their marriage life with every means possible as it is mentioned in a narration from Sahih Muslim:
Jabir (رضي الله عنه) reported that Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said: “Iblis places his throne upon water; he then sends detachments (for creating dissension); the nearer to him in rank are those who are most notorious in creating dissension. One of them comes and says: “I did so and so.” And he says: “You have done nothing.” Then one amongst them comes and says: “I did not spare so and so until I sowed the seed of discord between a husband and a wife.” Satan goes near him and says: “You have done well.” A’mash said: He then embraces him. (n.2813)
Therefore, protect your marriage life and your loved ones by trusting, forgiving and showing mercy to one another in shā Allah.
Only Allah knows best
Written by Maulana Tammim Tharik Mohamadou
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham