A lot of households break up due to uninstitutionalized way of divorce, not having a proper counseling before a decision of break. People seldom mean what they say and are under social PRESSURES SO MUCH THAT THEY ARE LOOSING THERE SANITY QUITE OFTEN. What is you’re opinion?
In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful.
It is the teaching of the Quran that the first step in resolving disputes and differences between the husband and wife should be that they themselves try to resolve and settle the differences without a third party having to intercede between them.
However if the above fails then Allah states in the Quran, “If you fear a breach of marriage between a man and his wife, appoint one arbiter from his family and another from hers; if they wish to reconcile, Allah will create a way of reconciliation between them. Allah is the Knowledgeable, Aware.” (Surah Nisaa: 35)
In this verse Allah has put forward a solution for settling disputes between a husband and wife when they fail to resolve the matter themselves. An arbiter from each side should be appointed to help settle reconciliation. The two people should probe into the real causes of the dispute and find a suitable solution. If both arbitrators have good intentions and genuinely wish to bring about peace between the couple, then there will be unseen help from Allah and they shall succeed in their mission, and it will be through their efforts that Allah will create love and harmony in the hearts of the couple. If the arbitrators are appointed as representatives and their attorneys in all respect in which case they would be admitting that any decision given by the two arbitrators jointly will be acceptable to and binding on both of them. If the above fails and the matter goes to the court, it is the duty of the judicial authority to investigate into the case background of both parties and come up with a decision which is just. (Maariful Quran: Vol 2)
From the above it is clear that Allah has in fact ordered the Muslims to follow a certain procedure when there is dispute between couples. This is followed in certain Muslim countries; however it is our short coming that this has not been implemented in a wider way across the community.
If despite this one does not follow the above methods and issues divorce without thinking thoroughly then the divorce will take effect. Abu Hurayrah narrates that the Prophet (sallal lahu alayhi wa sallam) said: “There are three things which, whether undertaken seriously or in jest, are treated as serious: Marriage, divorce and taking back a wife (after a divorce which is not final)” (Abu Dawood: 902)
In conclusion, Muslims should follow the methods set by Allah as mentioned above. However despite this if one does utter words then the consequences will have to be born as with any acts in life.
Only Allah knows best.
Darul Ifta, Birmingham