Fatwa ID: 05226
Answered by: Mufti Muhammad Adnan
I wanted to ask that if an extended family has oppressed a particular family for a very long time, despite trying to build relations and do whatever is possible to make it work, but for some reason, it doesn’t, and finally the family has had enough and stopped talking/meeting with all of them. It’s not just for small issues, it’s for very serious things such as abuse as well.
My question is that, if the ties are broken, would the children of the family (be sinning as well)? even if it’s not their choice.
In the name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful.
To maintain family relationships is wajib, whilst severing family ties is haram. (Imam Nawai’s commentary of Saheeh Muslim, Volume 7, Page 191. Maktabatul Bushra)
Allah has stated:
Those who break the Covenant of Allah after it has been made binding, and cut off what Allah has commanded to be joined (family relations), and spread disorder on the earth – it is these who are the losers. (Surah Baqarah Verse 27)
Mufti Shafi (may Allah’s mercy be upon him) commenting on the above-mentioned verse stated: one major factor in either maintaining order or causing disorder on Earth is the maintaining or severing of such relations. (Ma’ariful Quran, Volume 1, Page 170. Idaratul Ma’arif)
Aishah (may Allah be pleased with her) has narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon Him) has stated: The tie of kinship is suspended to the Throne and says: He who unites me Allah would unite him and he who severed me Allah would sever him. (Saheeh Bukhari as mentioned in Mishkaat, Volume 4, Page 107. Maktabatul Bushra)
Jubair Bin Mutim (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet (peace be upon Him) has stated: The severer of the tie of kinship would not get into Paradise. (Saheeh Muslim)
It is evident from the above-mentioned verse and Ahadith that virtues have been attributed to maintaining family relations whilst at the same time warnings have been issued to those who severe relationship.
In light of this, every effort should be made to maintain family ties but, if another Muslim makes your life difficult to the extent that it affects you emotionally or your health, the maximum that is allowed is that you restrict conversation to the minimum. The children would not be considered to be sinning in this situation.
Only Allah Knows Best
Written by Mufti Muhammad Adnan
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham