Advice on getting married

CategoriesMarriage [586]

Fatwa ID: 02049

Answered by UstaadhaAmatullah

Question:

I’m a young man in my second last year of college. I would like to get engaged by the end of this year and inshallah married by the end of last year college or after graduation. I live in a European country so the temptations here are alot, but I wish to take the Halal means inshallah. Would you advise me to get the Nikaah contract done early in college and then move in with my wife when I get a job and graduate? Or should I wait till I graduate and get a job first before taking any steps?

Answer:

Bismillah

Abu Ayyub raḍyAllāhu 'anhu (may Allāh be pleased with him) narrated that :

The Messenger of Allah said: "Four are from the Sunan of the Messengers: Al-Hayat, using Atar, the Siwak, and marriage."
(JaamiTirmidhi, Book of Marriage, Hadith 1080)

Narrated `Abdullah raḍyAllāhu 'anhu (may Allāh be pleased with him):
We were with the Prophet (ﷺ) while we were young and had no wealth whatever. So Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power."
(Sahih Bukhari, Book of Marriage, Hadith 5066)

The virtues of marriage are many. In your situation, if you are able to marry and provide for your wifes basic needs then it is best you marry irrespective of whether you move in together straight away or in future. It is important to remember that once the nikah is conducted, she is in your responsibility. So even if she is living with her parents, you would still have to provide her with her basic necessities.

If you are unable to provide such costs at the current situation, it is best you delay marriage until you are ready. Until then, you should try your best to lower your gaze and control your desires. As advised by our Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him), observe fasting to suppress your lust and inshaAllah, Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) will reward you for your efforts.

Note that if you do agree to marry someone (ie get engaged) earlier, then it is not lawful for you to communicate with your future wife in any way until the nikah has been conducted.

Only Allah knows best.

UstaadhaAmatullah.          

Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah

Darul Ifta Birmingham

About the author