I suffer from mental health issues and I have been suffering from this condition since my childhood and I am mentally unstable. We have a family history of this as my grandad and my mom and some of my other siblings suffer from the same mental health problems.
My condition is so bad that I physically harm myself and in extreme anger, I can’t tell the difference between right or wrong. I would like to share a few occasions with you that I can remember:
1) From a young age, I have had extreme anger management issues and am unable to control both my temper and my actions and I suffer from an extreme form of mental disorder.
2) When I was about 14 to 15 years old, my mother told me that she slapped me and I put my hand through a glass window as I became so angry.
3) I have slit both my forearms and my stomach in extreme anger with a blade and afterwards, once blood was leaving my arms, I felt peaceful doing this act.
4) I have a history of self-harming. Once in uncontrollable extreme anger, I smashed a glass on my head.
5) I also sometimes talk to myself sometimes in stress and extreme anger.
6) I have a history of causing damage in the house, and there are numerous holes in and around the walls of the house and broken mirrors throughout the house.
7) I have at least on two occasions laid on a busy roundabout on my back and I don’t know why. My behaviour is very irrational.
I have been married for 2 years and I had an argument with my wife and at that time I was under the influence of drugs and was extremely angry.
I also believe I suffer from some form of extreme mental disorder since my childhood as I can’t control my anger and resort to self-harming and I often cannot recall what I have said.
I also suffer from involuntary repetition and I often repeat words and sentences almost simultaneously and I have no control of what I am saying.
Leading up to the 1st of February 2020, I had been under extreme stress and anxiety and I hadn't slept or ate food probably for days.
When this event happened I felt like I was dreaming.
According to my wife on the 1st of February 2020, she had not seen me in this rage before and on one occasion in the night, she picked up a scissor in self-defence and sat on the window ledge threatening to jump as she was so frightened of me that night.
Later my wife told me she was also on her menstrual cycle on the 1st February 2020 and she was also fighting with me over numerous things.
My wife and I had an argument two days earlier and this resulted in a big fight on the 1st of February 2020.
On that, I day I left angry from my house due to a fight me and my wife had. Then after a few hours, my wife came to my workplace and started to have a fight with me there.
I then went home in extreme anger and under the influence of drugs, I went to bed. My wife came home and kicked me and woke me up from my sleep around 12 to 1:00 am.
I woke up in shock and still sleepy and my wife starting yelling and swearing at me. The argument kept going on for some time throughout the night and in the process, she caused damage to my car by keying it and also keyed my friend's car on the street. This made me extremely angry and I started swearing back at her and running after her.
My wife started running around the streets and we continued swearing at each other. It was about 4 am to 5 am.
We were both on the opposite sides of the street and under extreme anger. I said ‘divorce, divorce, divorce’ within a second without even thinking. As I was extremely angry, I lost total control of my senses due to my mental health issues.
On this particular night, there were high winds and my wife was on the other side of the street facing the opposite way with her back towards me and she claims she never heard me saying those words to her.
I feel I was not in my senses and I had lost all decision-making senses for that moment due to my extreme anger and mental disorder.
Please can you advise me of my marital status given my extreme anger and family-related mental health issues?
بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيْم
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
My dear brother, I would like to first advise you that you need to seek help with regards your anger issue and substance use. Unless you deal with this, you will continue to have problems in your relationships.
You have given quite a lot of information regarding the circumstances leading to your pronunciation of three Talāq. The main issue, as I understand, is whether Talāq occurs in a state of extreme anger, as well as giving Talāq under the influence of intoxicants.
Firstly, with regards to anger, you need to know that there are different types of anger:
- Anger that leads one to lose their mind
- Anger that does not lead one to lose their mind
- Anger which is in between the above two states
If the Talāq was pronounced in a state whereby you were completely out of your senses and not in control of your thoughts and actions, then it has not occurred. However, In the case of the last two types of anger, Talāq will occur.
The second matter is the giving of Talāq under the influence of intoxicants. The Talāq will occur as the person has caused himself to lose his sense through a sinful act and the occurrence of the Talāq is the punishment.
If what you describe was due to you being under the influence of intoxicating substances, such as alcohol or drugs, which led you to lose your senses and become angry, then the Talāq has occurred. In this case, the pronunciation of three Talāq means that your wife would no longer be lawful for you.
Only Allah knows best
Written by Imam Abdul-Malik Sheikh
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
 Radd al-Muhtār of Ibn Ābidin Vol. 3 p.244
 Al-Bināyah Sharh Al-Hidāyah of Imām Al-‘Ayni Vol.5 p.301