Fatwa ID: 03425
Answered by: Maulana Muhammad Adnan
I had an arranged marriage 6 years ago. We have a kid Alhamdulillah. I do not know why but I started getting suspicious about my wife's constant phone usage. So I started monitoring her activities discreetly. Alhamdulillah, I did not find anything against her. However, a couple of months ago I had a dream that she was cheating on me so I tricked her by saying that I found out something about her past. When I was persistent she told me she slept with a guy.
According to my wife, this guy was already married and just wanted to use her but she realized that later. At this point, shaitan completely messed up with my mind and I started asking her details about their affair. I was on the verge of going crazy. She swore by Allah that she has never ever cheated on me or thought of anyone else after the wedding. I believe her. Also, she claimed that she never wanted to get physical. But it happened 4 times and the last time she got physical with the other guy was after our engagement. She says it used to be forceful and she cried when it happened. When I asked why did you go to him again when you realized it the first time, she said she was hoping he could marry her as they already got physical.
I wanted to divorce her but Allah stopped me every time by making me realize that I should think about our kid and should never disclose someone's sins. Everyone thinks we are the happiest couple as we have been like this always Alhamdulillah. This situation got us a lot closer to Allah Alhamdulillah.
What should I do as per Islam? Divorce her? If not, how should I get rid of the mental image of her with another guy? A detailed answer is appreciated.
بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيْم
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Islamically, we are encouraged to forgive. If Allah Ta’ala forgives us despite our transgression we should be so with the rest of creation. It comes in a Hadith that Rasulullah (peace be upon him) said “Ar-Rahman will have mercy upon those who have mercy upon others”
The Sahaabah also used to have a not so good past but their actions and changes were such that the Quran is full of praise in their regards.
It is just an attack from Shaytaan to overpower your thoughts and create a divide in a perfectly healthy and happy marriage. Divorces generally end up messy with two families hating each other and children being raised in two different households and being passed around from city to city at times. This is the reason why Shaytaan is at his happiest when he becomes the cause of a divorce. Consider the Hadeeth below.
Jabir reported: The Messenger of Allah(peace be upon him), said, “Verily, Satan places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of them says: I have done this and this. Satan says: You have done nothing. Another one says: I did not leave this man alone until I separated him from his wife. Satan embraces him and he says: You have done well.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2813
Occupy your mind with lots of Dhikr and recitation of the Quraan and keep up with all that’s obligatory whilst abstaining from Haram. This is sure to protect you against the tricks of Shaytaan. RasoolUllah taught us to recite several dua’as and supplications, whereby we can gain the protection of Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala from all evil. He told us to recite this three times in the morning and three times in the evening for protection from all evil the following dua:
بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الَّذِي لاَ يَضُرُّ مَعَ اسْمِهِ شَىْءٌ فِي الأَرْضِ وَلاَ فِي السَّمَاءِ وَهُوَ السَّمِيعُ الْعَلِيمُ
Only Allah Knows Best
Written by Maulana Muhammad Adnan
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham