Fatwa ID: 08748

 

 

Answered by: Maulana Abdurrahman Mohammad

 

Question:

 

I have two walimah’s that are scheduled for the same date, 21 December 2024. The person who is invited lives in Johannesburg. The first invite, from a non-family member, came through on 14 September 2024. The walimah will be in Johannesburg. It has already been accepted. The second invite is yet to come from a family member. This Walimah will be in Durban. It will not be possible to attend both.

 

There is a Hadith that states:  وقال البهوتي في كشاف القناع (٥/١٦٩): (وإن دعاه اثنان إلى وليمتين أجاب أسبقهما بالقول) لقوله عليه الصلاة والسلام: فإن سبق أحدهما فأجب الذي سبق، رواه أبو داود

 

There is also a great possibility of the family member getting extremely upset if their walimah in Durban is not attended to the point that they may stop speaking to the person. One way would be to explain the circumstances to the non-family member, and if he is okay with it, then the person may attend the family member’s Walimah.

 

However, what would be the principal position if the non-family member does not agree for the person to attend the family member’s Walimah and says, “But I invited you first”?

 

 

 

 

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

 

Answer:

 

In Shariah, when someone invites you, it is necessary to respond to the invitation. Whether you attend is a separate matter.

 

 

On the authority of Al-Yanabi’: If one is invited to an invitation, then it is obligatory to respond if there is no sin or innovation involved. Abstaining is safer in our time, unless one knows for certain that there is no innovation or sin involved.

 

 

Since you have received two invitations, you must respond to both. If you can attend both, then that would be ideal. However, that may not always be feasible. Try to explain to your family that you have a prior commitment and be mindful when bringing this topic up. If this matter would lead to conflict and end up straining family ties, then choose the option with the lesser harm. If you attend the first Walimah, you would be rewarded for following the Hadith:

 

 

When two people come together to issue an invitation, accept that of the one whose door is nearer in neighbourhood, but if one of them comes before the other accept the invitation of the one who comes first. This is not an absolute obligation but rather a Sunnah. It is a general principle to follow when possible, but it may be overridden by other considerations based on the situation. The Prophet SWS taught us that when faced with two options, we should choose the easier of the two, as long as it is not sinful.

 

 

Whenever Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) was given the choice of one of two matters, he would choose the easier of the two, as long as it was not sinful to do so, but if it was sinful to do so, he would not approach it. Additionally, the Prophet SWS said:

 

 

“There should be neither harming nor reciprocating harm.”

 

 

This Hadith teaches us to avoid harm to others and to ourselves whenever possible. In your situation, attending your friend’s Walimah might result in harm by distancing yourself from your family and possibly severing ties of kinship, which is a grave sin. If both options are unfavorable, we should choose the lesser of the two evils and minimize the harm. In your situation, attending your friend’s Walimah could be more harmful to you, as it may require distancing yourself from your family and severing your ties of kinship, which is a great sin. Allah (swt) warns:

 

 

And those who violate Allah’s covenant after it has been affirmed, break whatever ˹ties˺ Allah has ordered to be maintained, and spread corruption in the land—it is they who will be condemned and will have the worst abode.

 

 

Maintaining ties with your family is far more important than preserving friendships. The Prophet SWS also emphasised the significance of kinship when he said:

 

 

The person who severs the bond of kinship will not enter Paradise

 

 

Therefore, if your relative’s walimah coincides with your friend’s and attending your friend’s event would lead to strain in your family relations or cause disputes, it would be more appropriate to prioritise maintaining family ties.

 

 

 

References:

 

[1] عَنْ الْيَنَابِيعِ: لَوْ دُعِيَ إلَى دَعْوَةٍ فَالْوَاجِبُ الْإِجَابَةُ إنْ لَمْ يَكُنْ هُنَاكَ مَعْصِيَةٌ وَلَا بِدْعَةٌ وَالِامْتِنَاعُ أَسْلَمُ فِي زَمَانِنَا إلَّا إذَا عَلِمَ يَقِينًا أَنْ لَا بِدْعَةَ وَلَا مَعْصِيَةَ اهـ وَالظَّاهِرُ حَمْلُهُ عَلَى غَيْرِ الْوَلِيمَةِ لِمَا مَرَّ وَيَأْتِي تَأَمَّلْ

(Radd Al-Muhtār, vol. 6, pg. 348, Darul Fikr Beirut)

 

[2] وَاخْتُلِفَ فِي إجَابَةِ الدَّعْوَةِ قَالَ بَعْضُهُمْ وَاجِبَةٌ لَا يَسَعُ تَرْكُهَا وَقَالَتْ الْعَامَّةُ هِيَ سُنَّةٌ وَالْأَفْضَلُ أَنْ يُجِيبَ إذَا كَانَتْ وَلِيمَةً وَإِلَّا فَهُوَ مُخَيَّرٌ وَالْإِجَابَةُ أَفْضَلُ؛ لِأَنَّ فِيهَا إدْخَالَ السُّرُورِ فِي قَلْبِ الْمُؤْمِنِ، كَذَا فِي التُّمُرْتَاشِيِّ.

(Al-Fatāwā Al-Hindiyya, vol. 5, pg. 343, Al-Maṭba’ah Al-Kubrā Al-Amīriyyah)

 

[3] رَجُلٌ اتَّخَذَ ضِيَافَةً لِلْقَرَابَةِ أَوْ وَلِيمَةً أَوْ اتَّخَذَ مَجْلِسًا لِأَهْلِ الْفَسَادِ فَدَعَا رَجُلًا صَالِحًا إلَى الْوَلِيمَةِ قَالُوا إنْ كَانَ هَذَا الرَّجُلُ بِحَالٍ لَوْ امْتَنَعَ عَنْ الْإِجَابَةِ مَنَعَهُمْ عَنْ فِسْقِهِمْ لَا تُبَاحُ لَهُ الْإِجَابَةُ بَلْ يَجِبُ عَلَيْهِ أَنْ لَا يُجِيبَ؛

لِأَنَّهُ نَهْيٌ عَنْ الْمُنْكَرِ، وَإِنْ لَمْ يَكُنْ الرَّجُلُ بِحَالٍ لَوْ لَمْ يُجِبْ لَا يَمْنَعُهُمْ عَنْ الْفِسْقِ لَا بَأْسَ بِأَنْ يُجِيبَ وَيَطْعَمَ وَيُنْكِرَ مَعْصِيَتَهُمْ وَفِسْقَهُمْ؛ لِأَنَّهُ إجَابَةُ الدَّعْوَةِ وَإِجَابَةُ الدَّعْوَةِ وَاجِبَةٌ أَوْ مَنْدُوبَةٌ فَلَا يَمْتَنِعُ بِمَعْصِيَةٍ اقْتَرَنَتْ بِهَا

(Al-Fatāwā Al-Hindiyya, vol. 5, pg. 343, Al-Maṭba’ah Al-Kubrā Al-Amīriyyah)

 

 

[4] رَجُلٌ دُعِيَ إلَى وَلِيمَةٍ أَوْ طَعَامٍ وَهُنَاكَ لَعِبٌ أَوْ غِنَاءٌ جُمْلَةُ الْكَلَامِ فِيهِ أَنَّ هَذَا فِي الْأَصْلِ لَا يَخْلُو مِنْ أَحَدِ وَجْهَيْنِ إمَّا أَنْ يَكُونَ عَالِمًا أَنَّ هُنَاكَ ذَاكَ وَإِمَّا إنْ لَمْ يَكُنْ عَالِمًا بِهِ فَإِنْ كَانَ عَالِمًا فَإِنْ كَانَ مِنْ غَالِبِ رَأْيِهِ

أَنَّهُ يُمْكِنُهُ التَّغْيِيرُ يُجِيبُ لِأَنَّ إجَابَةَ الدَّعْوَى مَسْنُونَةٌ قَالَ النَّبِيُّ ﵊ «إذَا دُعِيَ أَحَدُكُمْ إلَى وَلِيمَةٍ فَلْيَأْتِهَا» وَتَغْيِيرُ الْمُنْكَرِ مَفْرُوضٌ فَكَانَ فِي الْإِجَابَةِ إقَامَةُ الْفَرْضِ وَمُرَاعَاةُ السُّنَّةِ وَإِنْ كَانَ فِي

غَالِبِ رَأْيِهِ أَنَّهُ لَا يُمْكِنُهُ التَّغْيِيرُ لَا بَأْسَ بِالْإِجَابَةِ لِمَا ذَكَرْنَا أَنَّ إجَابَةَ الدَّعْوَةِ مَسْنُونَةٌ وَلَا تُتْرَكُ السُّنَّةُ لِمَعْصِيَةٍ تُوجَدُ مِنْ الْغَيْرِ أَلَا تَرَى أَنَّهُ لَا يُتْرَكُ تَشْيِيعُ الْجِنَازَةِ وَشُهُودُ الْمَأْتَمِ وَإِنْ كَانَ هُنَاكَ مَعْصِيَةٌ مِنْ النِّيَاحَةِ وَشَقِّ الْجُيُوبِ وَنَحْوِ ذَلِكَ؟ كَذَا هَهُنَا.

(Badāi’ Al-Sanāi’ Fī Tartīb Al-Sharāi’, vol. 5, pg. 128, Dār Al-Kutub Al-’Ilmiyyah)

 

 

[5] إِذَا اجْتَمَعَ الدَّاعِيَانِ فَأَجِبْ أَقْرَبَهُمَا بَابًا فَإِنَّ أَقْرَبَهُمَا بَابًا أَقْرَبُهُمَا جِوَارًا وَإِنْ سَبَقَ أَحَدُهُمَا فَأَجِبِ الَّذِي سَبَقَ

(Sunan Abi Dawud 3756, Book 28, Hadith 21)

 

 

[6] أَنَّهَا قَالَتْ مَا خُيِّرَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم بَيْنَ أَمْرَيْنِ إِلاَّ أَخَذَ أَيْسَرَهُمَا، مَا لَمْ يَكُنْ إِثْمًا، فَإِنْ كَانَ إِثْمًا كَانَ أَبْعَدَ النَّاسِ مِنْهُ

(Sahih Al-Bukhari 3560, Book 61, Hadith 69)

 

 

[7] لاَ ضَرَرَ وَلاَ ضِرَارَ

(Sunan Ibn Majah 2340, Book 13, Hadith 33)

 

 

[8] وَٱلَّذِينَ يَنقُضُونَ عَهْدَ ٱللَّهِ مِنۢ بَعْدِ مِيثَـٰقِهِۦ وَيَقْطَعُونَ مَآ أَمَرَ ٱللَّهُ بِهِۦٓ أَن يُوصَلَ وَيُفْسِدُونَ فِى ٱلْأَرْضِ ۙ أُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ لَهُمُ ٱللَّعْنَةُ وَلَهُمْ سُوٓءُ ٱلدَّارِ

(Surah Ar-Ra’d 13:25)

 

 

[9] لاَ يَدْخُلُ الْجَنَّةَ قَاطِعٌ

(Sahih al-Bukhari 5984, Book 78, Hadith 15)

 

 

 

Only Allah (عَزَّ وَ جَلَّ) knows best

Written by Maulana Abdurrahman Mohammad

Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah

Darul Ifta Birmingham