Fatwa ID: 08639

 

 

Answered by: Maulana Yusuf Badshah

 

Question:

 

When the 1st daughter has reached the age of maturity, as a father, what should he say to her at this important stage from an Islamic perspective?

 

Which kitābs, in English, are best to refer to for her tarbiyyah—especially on matters of ṣalāh, ḥijāb, ṭahārah, and general aḥkām?

 

How can he help her maintain the fikr of dīn, ḥifẓ, and obedience to Allah Taʿālā in a loving and effective way?

 

Is there any android app to keep track of the monthly cycle?

 

And any other advice

 

 

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

 

 

Answer:

 

The words you should speak to your daughter should be your own. You should know your daughter best to determine what words will motivate her. Encourage her to do good, prohibit her from doing evil, and teach her the Qur’an, Hadith and Islam. She will now be held accountable for her actions, so ensure she knows what Islam teaches, what we believe, what is Fardh, what is Haraam and the consequences that come with failing to uphold them. Make sure she knows her Islamic obligations such as Salah and fasting, which she should already be performing, and teach her the Fiqh regarding Hijab, Haidh and non-Mahrams [1].

 

Given that her Tarbiyyah should have already begun from her youth when she should have been sent to a Madrassah or teacher to study Islam, you would know best what books and curriculum she has studied and how far along the curriculum she has reached, and thus determine what gaps remain in her knowledge and what the next step in her studies should be. Visit a local or online Islamic bookstore to determine what English books or translations they have available. Consider Qur’an translations, Tafsirs, Hadith collections, Seerah, Aqeedah and Fiqh books. Find books that she has not yet read and are neither beneath her level or too advanced for her to understand. Choose those from which she will either gain advanced knowledge on a subject she knows, learn new knowledge on a topic she has not yet breached, or books that she will enjoy reading or is particularly interested in [2].

 

To help her remain on the straight path, you should speak to her genuinely, seek out and facilitate pathways of learning and doing good for her and warn her if she does wrong. Educate yourself, implement Islam in your own life, lead by example, display enthusiasm for Islam and genuine interest in your daughter’s Islam, encouragement and enthusiasm regarding her successes [3].

 

An app is not required to keep track of one’s cycle. Any calendar or note-taking app will do. Otherwise, one can search online or on the Google Play Store. You may wish to try the newly released MyHayd app and test its usefulness.

 

Islam is simple, and your duty is to convey that. To believe in what has been revealed, do what you have been commanded, avoid what has been prohibited, and remain steadfast upon that. This message remains the same for all, adult or child. As for advice for your daughter, this will depend on your daughter. Give her advice relevant to her.

 

 

References:

 

[1] Surah An-Nahl 125:

{ ادْعُ إِلَىٰ سَبِيلِ رَبِّكَ بِالْحِكْمَةِ وَالْمَوْعِظَةِ الْحَسَنَةِ ۖ وَجَادِلْهُم بِالَّتِي هِيَ أَحْسَنُ ۚ إِنَّ رَبَّكَ هُوَ أَعْلَمُ بِمَن ضَلَّ عَن سَبِيلِهِ ۖ وَهُوَ أَعْلَمُ بِالْمُهْتَدِينَ ۞}

 

Surah Ale Imran 104:

{ وَلْتَكُن مِّنكُمْ أُمَّةٌ يَدْعُونَ إِلَى الْخَيْرِ وَيَأْمُرُونَ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَيَنْهَوْنَ عَنِ الْمُنكَرِ ۚ وَأُولَٰئِكَ هُمُ الْمُفْلِحُونَعَظِيمٌ ۞}

 

Surah Ale Imran 110:

{ كُنتُمْ خَيْرَ أُمَّةٍ أُخْرِجَتْ لِلنَّاسِ تَأْمُرُونَ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَتَنْهَوْنَ عَنِ الْمُنكَرِ وَتُؤْمِنُونَ بِاللَّهِ … }

 

Surah Al-Hashr 7:

{ … وَمَا آتَاكُمُ الرَّسُولُ فَخُذُوهُ وَمَا نَهَاكُمْ عَنْهُ فَانتَهُوا ۚ وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ ۖ إِنَّ اللَّهَ شَدِيدُ الْعِقَابِ ۞}

 

Surah Al-Hajj 41:

{ الَّذِينَ إِن مَّكَّنَّاهُمْ فِي الْأَرْضِ أَقَامُوا الصَّلَاةَ وَآتَوُا الزَّكَاةَ وَأَمَرُوا بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَنَهَوْا عَنِ الْمُنكَرِ ۗ وَلِلَّهِ عَاقِبَةُ الْأُمُورِ ۞}

 

Surah At-Tahreem 6:

{ يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا قُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًا وَقُودُهَا النَّاسُ وَالْحِجَارَةُ عَلَيْهَا مَلَائِكَةٌ غِلَاظٌ شِدَادٌ لَّا يَعْصُونَ اللَّهَ مَا أَمَرَهُمْ وَيَفْعَلُونَ مَا يُؤْمَرُونَ ۞}

 

Surah Luqman 17:

{ يَا بُنَيَّ أَقِمِ الصَّلَاةَ وَأْمُرْ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَانْهَ عَنِ الْمُنكَرِ وَاصْبِرْ عَلَىٰ مَا أَصَابَكَ ۖ إِنَّ ذَٰلِكَ مِنْ عَزْمِ الْأُمُورِ ۞}

 

Raddul Muhtar, vol. 4, pg. 116, Darul Fikr:

(قَوْلُهُ أَوْ كَانَ مِنْهُمْ غَيْرُ مُكَلَّفٍ) أَيْ صَبِيٌّ أَوْ مَجْنُونٌ

 

Surah Al-Ahzab 59:

{ يَا أَيُّهَا النَّبِيُّ قُل لِّأَزْوَاجِكَ وَبَنَاتِكَ وَنِسَاءِ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ يُدْنِينَ عَلَيْهِنَّ مِن جَلَابِيبِهِنَّ ۚ ذَٰلِكَ أَدْنَىٰ أَن يُعْرَفْنَ فَلَا يُؤْذَيْنَ ۗ وَكَانَ اللَّهُ غَفُورًا رَّحِيمًاِ ۞}

 

Surah An-Nur 31:

{ وَقُل لِّلْمُؤْمِنَاتِ يَغْضُضْنَ مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِنَّ وَيَحْفَظْنَ فُرُوجَهُنَّ وَلَا يُبْدِينَ زِينَتَهُنَّ إِلَّا مَا ظَهَرَ مِنْهَا ۖ وَلْيَضْرِبْنَ بِخُمُرِهِنَّ عَلَىٰ جُيُوبِهِنَّ ۖ وَلَا يُبْدِينَ زِينَتَهُنَّ إِلَّا لِبُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوْ آبَائِهِنَّ أَوْ آبَاءِ بُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوْ أَبْنَائِهِنَّ أَوْ أَبْنَاءِ بُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوْ إِخْوَانِهِنَّ أَوْ بَنِي إِخْوَانِهِنَّ أَوْ بَنِي أَخَوَاتِهِنَّ أَوْ نِسَائِهِنَّ أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُهُنَّ أَوِ التَّابِعِينَ غَيْرِ أُولِي الْإِرْبَةِ مِنَ الرِّجَالِ أَوِ الطِّفْلِ الَّذِينَ لَمْ يَظْهَرُوا عَلَىٰ عَوْرَاتِ النِّسَاءِ ۖ وَلَا يَضْرِبْنَ بِأَرْجُلِهِنَّ لِيُعْلَمَ مَا يُخْفِينَ مِن زِينَتِهِنَّ ۚ وَتُوبُوا إِلَى اللَّهِ جَمِيعًا أَيُّهَ الْمُؤْمِنُونَ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُفْلِحُونَ ۞}

 

[2] Surah Al-Mujadilah 11:

{ … يَرْفَعِ اللَّهُ الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا مِنكُمْ وَالَّذِينَ أُوتُوا الْعِلْمَ دَرَجَاتٍ ۚ وَاللَّهُ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ خَبِيرٌ ۞}

 

Surah Az-Zumar 9:

{ أَمَّنْ هُوَ قَانِتٌ آنَاءَ اللَّيْلِ سَاجِدًا وَقَائِمًا يَحْذَرُ الْآخِرَةَ وَيَرْجُو رَحْمَةَ رَبِّهِ ۗ قُلْ هَلْ يَسْتَوِي الَّذِينَ يَعْلَمُونَ وَالَّذِينَ لَا يَعْلَمُونَ ۗ إِنَّمَا يَتَذَكَّرُ أُولُو الْأَلْبَابِ ۞}

 

Surah Fatir 28:

{ وَمِنَ النَّاسِ وَالدَّوَابِّ وَالْأَنْعَامِ مُخْتَلِفٌ أَلْوَانُهُ كَذَٰلِكَ ۗ إِنَّمَا يَخْشَى اللَّهَ مِنْ عِبَادِهِ الْعُلَمَاءُ ۗ إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَزِيزٌ غَفُورٌ ۞}

 

[3] Call to/enjoin good, Example

Surah Ale Imran 159:

{ فَبِمَا رَحْمَةٍ مِّنَ اللَّهِ لِنتَ لَهُمْ ۖ وَلَوْ كُنتَ فَظًّا غَلِيظَ الْقَلْبِ لَانفَضُّوا مِنْ حَوْلِكَ ۖ فَاعْفُ عَنْهُمْ وَاسْتَغْفِرْ لَهُمْ وَشَاوِرْهُمْ فِي الْأَمْرِ ۖ فَإِذَا عَزَمْتَ فَتَوَكَّلْ عَلَى اللَّهِ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُحِبُّ الْمُتَوَكِّلِينَ ۞}

 

Surah Al-Baqarah 44-45:

{ أَتَأْمُرُونَ النَّاسَ بِالْبِرِّ وَتَنسَوْنَ أَنفُسَكُمْ وَأَنتُمْ تَتْلُونَ الْكِتَابَ ۚ أَفَلَا تَعْقِلُونَ ۞ وَاسْتَعِينُوا بِالصَّبْرِ وَالصَّلَاةِ ۚ وَإِنَّهَا لَكَبِيرَةٌ إِلَّا عَلَى الْخَاشِعِينَ ۞}

 

Surah Ar-Ra’d 11:

{ … إِنَّ اللَّهَ لَا يُغَيِّرُ مَا بِقَوْمٍ حَتَّىٰ يُغَيِّرُوا مَا بِأَنفُسِهِمْ ۗ وَإِذَا أَرَادَ اللَّهُ بِقَوْمٍ سُوءًا فَلَا مَرَدَّ لَهُ ۚ وَمَا لَهُم مِّن دُونِهِ مِن وَالٍ ۞}

 

Surah Al-Asr:

{ وَالْعَصْرِ ۞ إِنَّ الْإِنسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ ۞ إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ ۞}

 

And only Allah s.w.t knows best.

Written by Maulana Yusuf Badshah

Checked and approved by Mufti Tosir Miah

Darul Ifta Birmingham