A Delicate Issue

CategoriesMarriage [642]

There is a girl I know. I have never ever seen her eye to eye. Never met her face to face, but I really really like her.  We have known each other for 12 months. We speak on the phone daily. We both care about each other. I feel that  she is a really good person and she feels the same way about me. When we talk on the phone we talk about good things. I feel as if that we both have become a support system for each other.

Can you advise me in general about the situation.

In the name of Allah, the most Beneficent, the most Merciful.


First of all we must note that things done in the right and legitimate way are full of blessings and when things are done in a way where the rulings of the Shariah are broken it normally brings difficulties and tribulations.

In regards to your question you should stop talking to the girl, as it is not permissible for a man to look, speak or listen to another girl except at the time of extreme necessity.

The Prophet of Allah Sallallahu Alahi Wasalam has said; “An evil glance is a poisonous arrow from the arrows of Iblees” ( Majmauz Zawaaid p.63 V.8)

In another hadith the Prophet of Allah Sallallahu Alahi Wasalam said; “The zina (adultery) of the eyes is in evil glances and zina of the ears is by listening (to evil) and zina of the tongue is speaking (about evil) and zina of the hands is in touching (forbidden) and zina of the feet is walking (towards evil) and the heart desires and hopes (in evil) and thereafter the private parts accepts that (acts upon it) or rejects it.” (Mishkaatul- Masaabeeh)

If you do like this girl it may be advisable that you think about getting married to her.

However, you must consider her qualities such as piety, outward worship, dealings, character etc…

The Prophet of Allah Sallallahu Alahi Wasalam has said: “A woman is married for one of four reasons, wealth, rank (status), beauty, piety. Choose the possessor of piety and achieve success.” (Sahih Bukhari P762 V.2)

If you think she possesses the aforementioned qualities then speak to your parents about it and see their response. If they like the girl they will contact the girl’s family and if she is wiling to get married and both of you are happy with each other then to go ahead and get married.

Only Allah Knows Best.

Mohammed Tosir Miah

Darul Ifta Birmingham.

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