A Man Kisses The Mother Of His Fiancé

CategoriesMarriage [721]

Fatwa ID: 07180

 

 

Answered by: Maulana Sheik Abdel Ahad Imrit

 

Question:

 

Respected scholars, My question today is that there is a young boy, and there was a young girl who used to love him a lot and wanted to marry him. She told her mother about it and her mother agreed and they talked about it with the family of the boy. Everyone had agreed upon it.

 

But due to the traps of shaytan, the connection between the young boy and the mother of that girl had some sexual activity.

 

Note that there was nothing but touching, kissing and looking. After that they came to know that in ahnaaf, this might be under hurmat e musahirah. The young boy and the mother are very worried note that both sides have repented and also they didn’t know about this rule.

 

And according to imam shafi it’s no problem marrying her daughter. And other madhabs. So here after the whole situation. Can there be a chance of marrying her daughter??? And I understand there are 8 sharait of touching and 6 sharait of looking. But these sharait are not to be confirmed. So any gunjaish? Would the masla remain Like this in such a modern world of fitnah? Or there can be some leniency? 

 

 

 

 

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

 

Answer:

 

There are seven condition for establishing hurmat-e-musaaharah by touching

 

1. There should be no barrier between both parties, or, if there is, but the warmth of the body can be felt, this will also be considered as no barrier.

 

 

2. Touching the hair connected to the head, however, if the hanging part of the hair is touched, hurmat will not be established.

 

 

3. The touch created immediate lust (shahwah), if the lust comes later on hurmat is not established.

 

 

4. If the person ejaculates immediately before touching or seeing, before even having felt the lust, hurmat is not established. On the contrary yes.

 

 

5. The girl who is being touched should not be less than 9years old and if it is a boy is should not be less than 12years old.

 

 

6. If the one touching is a woman, and she is claiming to have experienced lust, the husband will have to agree that this happened, of it has been proven from two men or to women and one man.

 

 

7. The one being touched, whether it is a man or a woman, they should be alive.

 

 

 

There are six conditions for looking to be a cause of hurmat-e-musaaharah.

 

1. If a man looks at the farj-daakhil (The labia minora (inner lips) are inside the outer lips. They begin at the clitoris and end under the opening to the vagina)

 

That can only happen when the woman is leaning against the wall of something else, with the legs open. Looking at the labia majora or any other parts of the body will not establish hurmat.

 

For a woman it will be when she looks at the penis of a man, whether erected or not, other part will not establish hurmat.

 

 

2. Lust should be together with the act of looking, not that it came later on when one is no more looking.

 

It should be noted that, the lust should be found from the one who is looking, whether it is a man or a woman, no need for it to be found in the one who is being looked at.

 

 

3. It should be looking at the actual farj-daakhil for hurmat to be established, if it is a reflection of it in the mirror or water for example, then hurmat will not be established.

 

 

4. No ejaculation before even seeing.

 

 

5. The one being touched, whether it is a man or a woman, they should be alive.

 

 

6. The girl who is being touched should not be less than 9 years old and if it is a boy is should not be less than 12years old. [Hurmat-e-Musaaharah Mufti Sa’eed Ahmad Palanpuri Maktabah Hijaaz Deoband U.P]

 

 

 

As far as not knowing the ruling of deen, it is not a valid excuse according to the jusrist, when one is in such a place when knowledge of deen is easily available.

 

 

It was narrated from Anas bin Malik that the Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon him) said: “Seeking knowledge is a duty upon every Muslim”

 

 

«حاشية ابن عابدين = رد المحتار ط الحلبي» (3/ 32):

«قَوْلُهُ: بِحَائِلٍ لَا يَمْنَعُ الْحَرَارَةَ) أَيْ وَلَوْ بِحَائِلٍ إلَخْ، فَلَوْ كَانَ مَانِعًا لَا تَثْبُتُ الْحُرْمَةُ، كَذَا فِي أَكْثَرِ الْكُتُبِ، وَكَذَا لَوْ جَامَعَهَا بِخِرْقَةٍ عَلَى ذَكَرِهِ، فَمَا فِي الذَّخِيرَةِ مِنْ أَنَّ الْإِمَامَ ظَهِيرَ الدِّينِ أَنَّهُ يُفْتَى بِالْحُرْمَةِ فِي الْقُبْلَةِ عَلَى الْفَمِ وَالذَّقَنِ وَالْخَدِّ وَالرَّأْسِ، وَإِنْ كَانَ عَلَى الْمِقْنَعَةِ مَحْمُولٌ عَلَى مَا إذَا كَانَتْ رَقِيقَةً تَصِلُ الْحَرَارَةُ مَعَهَا بَحْرٌ.

 

 

(قَوْلُهُ: وَأَصْلُ مَاسَّتِهِ) أَيْ بِشَهْوَةٍ قَالَ فِي الْفَتْحِ: وَثُبُوتُ الْحُرْمَةِ بِلَمْسِهَا مَشْرُوطٌ بِأَنْ يُصَدِّقَهَا، وَيَقَعَ فِي أَكْبَرِ رَأْيِهِ صِدْقُهَا وَعَلَى هَذَا يَنْبَغِي أَنْ يُقَالَ فِي مَسِّهِ إيَّاهَا لَا تَحْرُمُ عَلَى أَبِيهِ وَابْنِهِ إلَّا أَنْ يُصَدِّقَاهُ أَوْ يَغْلِبَ عَلَى ظَنِّهِمَا صِدْقُهُ، ثُمَّ رَأَيْت عَنْ أَبِي يُوسُفَ مَا يُفِيدُ ذَلِكَ. اهـ.

 

 

(قَوْلُهُ: وَنَاظِرَةٌ) أَيْ بِشَهْوَةٍ (قَوْلُهُ: وَالْمَنْظُورُ إلَى فَرْجِهَا) قَيَّدَ بِالْفَرْجِ؛ لِأَنَّ ظَاهِرَ الذَّخِيرَةِ وَغَيْرِهَا أَنَّهُمْ اتَّفَقُوا عَلَى أَنَّ النَّظَرَ بِشَهْوَةٍ إلَى سَائِرِ أَعْضَائِهَا لَا عِبْرَةَ بِهِ مَا عَدَا الْفَرَجَ، وَحِينَئِذٍ فَإِطْلَاقُ الْكَنْزِ فِي مَحَلِّ التَّقْيِيدِ بَحْرٌ. (قَوْلُهُ: الْمُدَوَّرِ الدَّاخِلِ) اخْتَارَهُ فِي الْهِدَايَةِ وَصَحَّحَهُ فِي الْمُحِيطِ وَالذَّخِيرَةِ: وَفِي الْخَانِيَّةِ وَعَلَيْهِ الْفَتْوَى وَفِي الْفَتْحِ، وَهُوَ ظَاهِرُ الرِّوَايَةِ لِأَنَّ هَذَا حُكْمٌ تَعَلَّقَ بِالْفَرْجِ، وَالدَّاخِلُ فَرْجٌ مِنْ كُلِّ وَجْهٍ، وَالْخَارِجُ فَرْجٌ مِنْ وَجْهٍ وَالِاحْتِرَازُ عَنْ الْخَارِجِ مُتَعَذِّرٌ، فَسَقَطَ اعْتِبَارُهُ، وَلَا يَتَحَقَّقُ ذَلِكَ إلَّا إذَا كَانَتْ مُتَّكِئَةً بَحْرٌ فَلَوْ كَانَتْ قَائِمَةً أَوْ جَالِسَةً غَيْرَ مُسْتَنَدَةٍ لَا تَثْبُتُ الْحُرْمَةُ إسْمَاعِيلُ وَقِيلَ: تَثْبُتُ بِالنَّظَرِ إلَى مَنَابِتِ الشَّعْرِ وَقِيلَ إلَى الشَّقِّ وَصَحَّحَهُ فِي الْخُلَاصَةِ بَحْرٌ (قَوْلُهُ: أَوْ مَاءٍ هِيَ فِيهِ) احْتِرَازٌ عَمَّا إذَا كَانَتْ فَوْقَ الْمَاءِ فَرَآهُ مِنْ الْمَاءِ كَمَا يَأْتِي

 

 

«تبيين الحقائق شرح كنز الدقائق وحاشية الشلبي» (5/ 257):

«لِأَنَّهُ ‌لَا ‌يُعْذَرُ ‌بِالْجَهْلِ بِالْأَحْكَامِ فِي دَارِ الْإِسْلَامِ»

 

 

«فتح القدير للكمال بن الهمام – ط الحلبي» (2/ 512):

«وَذَلِكَ أَنَّ الدَّلِيلَ الشَّرْعِيَّ مَنْصُوبٌ فَيُقَامُ وُجُودُهُ مَقَامَ الْعِلْمِ بِهِ فِي حَقِّ كُلِّ مَنْ كُلِّفَ بِطَلَبِ الْعِلْمِ، وَلِذَا ‌لَا ‌يُعْذَرُ ‌بِالْجَهْلِ فِي دَارِ الْإِسْلَامِ»

 

 

«حاشية ابن عابدين = رد المحتار ط الحلبي» (2/ 371):

«قَوْلُهُ: أَوْ عَالَمٍ بِالْوُجُوبِ) أَيْ أَوْ كَائِنٍ فِي غَيْرِ دَارِنَا عَالَمٍ بِالْوُجُوبِ فَالْكَوْنُ بِدَارِ الْإِسْلَامِ مُوجِبٌ لِلصَّوْمِ، وَإِنْ لَمْ يَعْلَمْ بِوُجُوبِهِ إذْ ‌لَا ‌يُعْذَرُ ‌بِالْجَهْلِ فِي دَارِ الْإِسْلَامِ، بِخِلَافِ مَنْ أَسْلَمَ فِي دَارِ الْحَرْبِ وَلَمْ يَعْلَمْ بِهِ فَإِنَّهُ لَا يَجِبُ عَلَيْهِ مَا لَمْ يَعْلَمْ»

 

«حاشية ابن عابدين = رد المحتار ط الحلبي» (6/ 240):

«قَالَ فِي الْمِنَحِ لِأَنَّهُ ‌لَا ‌يُعْذَرُ ‌بِالْجَهْلِ بِالْأَحْكَامِ فِي دَارِ الْإِسْلَامِ اهـ»

 

«سنن ابن ماجه» (1/ 81 ت عبد الباقي):

– حَدَّثَنَا هِشَامُ بْنُ عَمَّارٍ قَالَ: حَدَّثَنَا حَفْصُ بْنُ سُلَيْمَانَ قَالَ: حَدَّثَنَا كَثِيرُ بْنُ شِنْظِيرٍ، عَنْ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ سِيرِينَ، عَنْ أَنَسِ بْنِ مَالِكٍ قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم: «‌طَلَبُ ‌الْعِلْمِ ‌فَرِيضَةٌ عَلَى كُلِّ مُسْلِمٍ، وَوَاضِعُ الْعِلْمِ عِنْدَ غَيْرِ أَهْلِهِ كَمُقَلِّدِ الْخَنَازِيرِ الْجَوْهَرَ وَاللُّؤْلُؤَ وَالذَّهَبَ»

 

 

 

Only Allah (عز و جل) knows best.

Written by Maulana Sheik Abdel Ahad Imrit

Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah

Darul Ifta Birmingham

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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