Fatwa ID: 07215
Answered by: Maulana Abdoullah Limvoonheek
Question:
1. “Salam alaykom. My family are practising but only in selective aspects and they are also not on the sunnah in some ways. There is a potential spouse (who approached me in uni) whom I am hoping to marry Insha Allah. My wali has been meeting him every 2 months in a restaurant for a meal.
For over a year the guy has told his family from day 1, they are waiting to meet, and yet my wali has not even progressed from this stage. He states racial/cultural/financial differences as issues, but also says he has a brilliant character and a very sound understanding of the deen. He also feels I am too young (21) and that work and career development should take priority which I highly disagree with. My wali and I are on completely opposite wavelengths regarding the deen, since I started practicing more, our relationship actually became increasingly difficult.
Alhamdulilah the guy is Independent and a few years older, but this situation has been in a limbo for over a year now. I am struggling with my desires. I have this man in my mind all the time and it is affecting me to the point my body is almost always in a state of arousal and I struggle to do ghusl so many times a day. I don’t know what to do, I battle this issue all the time whilst my wali is so carefree and lengthening the process.
To compound things, I have a disease which plays a massive role in the marriage I will be in InshaAllah, and its something I have to disclose to the potential. I would say 95% of men would reject a woman with this issue. This man has agreed. I feel this opportunity cannot be wasted. What can I do to help my situation? I feel I am always in a sinful state due to the arousal and I cannot focus on anything, and since Ramadan ended, my imaan has absolutely plummeted. Please could you kindly advise. And I ask you for the sake of Allah to keep my amana private. JazakAllah kheyran for your help”
2. “Assalama allaykum, I have a question about oaths with Allah, if my mum said wallahi she would do something like give bad review to uber and she told me too and I said wallahi I will as the guy took a different route and took much longer. Then after my mum’s ride she had mercy and said forgive him with idea so give him 5 star and I did. Do I need to pay kaffarah for her and me?
EDF energy used to be prepayment I.e. estimated and the machine broke so for a while we didn’t pay each month but payment 6 months and we paid a rough estimate of data given both times, are we sinful as the second time was more of estimation which is realistic so paid £500 and they estimated to be like £729? I have OCD and overcomplicated little things and big too. Are these shaytaan waswasa which I had long time, is there a way to deal with this?”
3. “We had history of sometimes borrowing gloves from my mum’s workplace as we thought as she worked there and used for her job it must be allowed along with tissues, first is this haram as I figured and looked into it and felt this tends this way. When can we follow our guts as sometimes biased? And to pay back do I check current market of thise items on Internet and do average etc or found out the exact company or find exact company and price at that time etc?
Sometimes I feel odour but it feels like no one else knows this and then I get that everyone knows this that is stranger but not my doctor or family etc I get really confused from time to time, please do give some advise on that. JazakAllah khayren”
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer:
1- In the Quran Allah addresses the believers to enter into Islam in its totality. We should not be seasonal Muslims. We have to adhere to the command of Allah completely.
In the hadith it is mention that a person will not be misguided when they hold firm on the Quran and the sunnah. So it is important to link ourselves to the scholars for them to guide us.
If one has the means he/she should marry otherwise one should fast as this will decrease his/her desires. You should also terminate any contact between you and the guy as this is haram.
As for ghusl, it is only fardh when there is intimacy, wet dreams, end of haidh or nifas. The mere arousal which discharges madhi doesn’t need ghusl.
We advise you to perform Istikharah salah and engage in lot of dua with sadaqah. Together with is talk to the elder of the family and inform your wali your need of marriage.
2- There are 3 types of oath
First is ghamus, which is taking a false on not doing something which was done. A person will be sinful but no kaffarah.
Second is laghu, which is taking an oath on something being true but it was false. There will be no sin and no kaffarah.
Third is ma’qudah, which is done on something to do or not in the future. If it is broken kaffarah need to be paid.
Today unfortunately people disrespect and misuse the name of Allah. In common statement a person take an oath and say wallahi. Such an oath is laghu and there will be no kaffarah.
However if it was serious and sincere in it, as such if it is broken then one have to pay kaffarah which is to feed 10 person or clothe them. One can also fast for 3 days.
As for the EDF energy, See for the past few months what amount you paid and pay the same and give some extra in charity.
You should consult a doctor maybe have an OCD therapy and medication. If you have waswasah, repeat ta’awwuz everyday.
3- To take something which is not yours without permission is called stealing and a person will be sinful. If you still have the item and the company still exist, you should return it.
If this is not possible then you should give the value of that time and give it to the company. If the company is closed down, then you should give that amount in charity.
As for the odor, one should be clean and neat all the time. Keep a small bottle of perfume with you. In the hadith it is mention scent is light to carry and gives good smell.
Reference:
Surah Baqarah ayah 208
يٰٓاَيُّهَا الَّذِيۡنَ اٰمَنُوا ادۡخُلُوۡا فِى السِّلۡمِ کَآفَّةً ۖ وَلَا تَتَّبِعُوۡا خُطُوٰتِ الشَّيۡطٰنِؕ اِنَّهٗ لَـکُمۡ عَدُوٌّ مُّبِيۡنٌ
عَنْ مَالِكٍ، أَنَّهُ بَلَغَهُ أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ “ تَرَكْتُ فِيكُمْ أَمْرَيْنِ لَنْ تَضِلُّوا مَا تَمَسَّكْتُمْ بِهِمَا كِتَابَ اللَّهِ وَسُنَّةَ نَبِيِّهِ ”
Muwatta Imam Malik hadith 1628
Mariful Quran Surah Baqarah ayah 225
لَا يُؤَاخِذُكُمُ اللّٰهُ بِاللَّغۡوِ فِىۡٓ اَيۡمَانِكُمۡ وَلٰـكِنۡ يُّؤَاخِذُكُمۡ بِمَا كَسَبَتۡ قُلُوۡبُكُمۡؕ وَاللّٰهُ غَفُوۡرٌ حَلِيۡمٌ
Surah Maidah ayah 89
لَا يُؤَاخِذُكُمُ اللّٰهُ بِاللَّغۡوِ فِىۡۤ اَيۡمَانِكُمۡ وَلٰـكِنۡ يُّؤَاخِذُكُمۡ بِمَا عَقَّدْتُّمُ الۡاَيۡمَانَ ۚ فَكَفَّارَتُهٗۤ اِطۡعَامُ عَشَرَةِ مَسٰكِيۡنَ مِنۡ اَوۡسَطِ مَا تُطۡعِمُوۡنَ اَهۡلِيۡكُمۡ اَوۡ كِسۡوَتُهُمۡ اَوۡ تَحۡرِيۡرُ رَقَبَةٍ ؕ فَمَنۡ لَّمۡ يَجِدۡ فَصِيَامُ ثَلٰثَةِ اَيَّامٍ ؕ ذٰ لِكَ كَفَّارَةُ اَيۡمَانِكُمۡ اِذَا حَلَفۡتُمۡ ؕ وَاحۡفَظُوۡۤا اَيۡمَانَكُمۡ ؕ كَذٰلِكَ يُبَيِّنُ اللّٰهُ لَـكُمۡ اٰيٰتِهٖ لَعَلَّكُمۡ تَشۡكُرُوۡنَ
الْيَمِينُ – بِاَللَّهِ – تَعَالَى مُنْقَسِمٌ ثَلَاثَةَ أَقْسَامٍ فِي عُرْفِ الشَّرْعِ يَمِينُ الْغَمُوسِ وَيَمِينُ اللَّغْوِ وَيَمِينٌ مَعْقُودَةٌ
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(وَلَنَا) قَوْله تَعَالَى – ﴿لا يُؤَاخِذُكُمُ اللَّهُ بِاللَّغْوِ فِي أَيْمَانِكُمْ وَلَكِنْ يُؤَاخِذُكُمْ بِمَا عَقَّدْتُمُ الأَيْمَانَ﴾ [المائدة: ٨٩] قَابَلَ يَمِينَ اللَّغْوِ بِالْيَمِينِ الْمَعْقُودَةِ وَفَرَّقَ بَيْنَهُمَا فِي الْمُؤَاخَذَةِ وَنَفْيِهَا فَيَجِبُ أَنْ تَكُونَ يَمِينُ اللَّغْوِ غَيْرَ الْيَمِينِ الْمَعْقُودَةِ تَحْقِيقًا لِلْمُقَابَلَةِ، وَالْيَمِينُ فِي الْمُسْتَقْبَلِ يَمِينٌ مَعْقُودَةٌ سَوَاءٌ وُجِدَ الْقَصْدُ أَوْ لَا وَلِأَنَّ اللَّغْوَ فِي اللُّغَةِ اسْمٌ لِلشَّيْءِ الَّذِي لَا حَقِيقَةَ لَهُ.
قَالَ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى ﴿لا يَسْمَعُونَ فِيهَا لَغْوًا وَلا تَأْثِيمًا﴾ [الواقعة: ٢٥] أَيْ بَاطِلًا.
وَقَالَ ﷿ خَبَرًا عَنْ الْكَفَرَةِ ﴿وَالْغَوْا فِيهِ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَغْلِبُونَ﴾ [فصلت: ٢٦] وَذَلِكَ فِيمَا قُلْنَا وَهُوَ الْحَلِفُ بِمَا لَا حَقِيقَةَ لَهُ بَلْ عَلَى ظَنٍّ مِنْ الْحَالِفِ أَنَّ الْأَمْرَ كَمَا حَلَفَ عَلَيْهِ وَالْحَقِيقَةُ بِخِلَافِهِ وَكَذَا مَا يَجْرِي عَلَى اللِّسَانِ مِنْ غَيْرِ قَصْدٍ لَكِنْ فِي الْمَاضِي أَوْ الْحَالِ فَهُوَ مِمَّا لَا حَقِيقَةَ لَهُ فَكَانَ لَغْوًا وَلِأَنَّ اللَّغْوَ لَمَّا كَانَ هُوَ الَّذِي لَا حَقِيقَةَ لَهُ كَانَ هُوَ الْبَاطِلَ الَّذِي لَا حُكْمَ لَهُ فَلَا يَكُونُ يَمِينًا مَعْقُودَةً لِأَنَّ لَهَا حُكْمًا
بدائع الصنائع ج٣ ص٤
مَطْلَبٌ فِي رَدِّ الْمَغْصُوبِ وَفِيمَا لَوْ أَبَى الْمَالِكُ قَبُولَهُ (قَوْلُهُ وَيَجِبُ رَدُّ عَيْنِ الْمَغْصُوبِ) لِقَوْلِهِ – عَلَيْهِ الصَّلَاةُ وَالسَّلَامُ – «عَلَى الْيَدِ مَا أَخَذَتْ حَتَّى تَرُدَّ» وَلِقَوْلِهِ – عَلَيْهِ الصَّلَاةُ وَالسَّلَامُ – «لَا يَحِلُّ لِأَحَدِكُمْ أَنْ يَأْخُذَ مَالَ أَخِيهِ لَاعِبًا وَلَا جَادًّا، وَإِنْ أَخَذَهُ فَلْيَرُدَّهُ عَلَيْهِ» زَيْلَعِيٌّ، وَظَاهِرُهُ أَنَّ رَدَّ الْعَيْنِ هُوَ الْوَاجِبُ الْأَصْلِيُّ، وَهُوَ الصَّحِيحُ
رد المحتار ج٦ ص١٨٢
Only Allah (عز و جل) knows best.
Written by Maulana Abdoullah Limvoonheek
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
