Fatwa ID: 08695
Answered by: Alimah Maryam Badshah
Question:
After about 6 months of my nikkah, I had a moment with someone where I said I am not a Muslim anymore. I was angry/upset about a situation. I had made repentance about 10 minutes later. Within about 2 months after this incident my husband said talaq to me. He apologized and took me back.
After a few days, I started reading about divorce and started getting thoughts like what if something we have already said in the past has caused three talaqs and we didn’t know? I asked him and he said if you think I did then I did. This was said in urdu “ agar tummhe lagta mene di hai tou mene di hai”. He says he did not intend this to be a talaq. I cannot remember exactly but before or after this incident he also said I am not a Muslim I believe in my own Islam. In response to when I was trying to explain that divorce can happen in other words.
A few days after this, things were said like. If I thought that even one percent you didn’t love me, we would be separated. He doesn’t remember saying this or intended it to be a divorce as he says. I then went to Pakistan and at one time I said “If you think that I can’t fulfil your right you can leave me”. He said, “Okay fine”. This was said in Urdu. I said, “ agar tummhe laagta k mein tummare haq fulfil nhi kr sakti tou chordo mujhe and he said acha theek hai”.
I mentioned the kufr words we said because I read that by saying kufr words your nikkah breaks in the Hanafi madhab so wanted to be sure if the divorce counts. He has his own stance that he only intended the first talaq to be a divorce and didn’t believe or ever want these other things to cause a divorce.
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer:
To start, you should make sincere repentance to Allah (swt) for your kufr (apostasy) and reaffirm your faith with the Shahādah if you have not done so already. It is considered to be more cautious to renew your marriage vows with your husband. It would be wise to note that it is an opinion of the scholars that kufr renders all previous rewards null and void, even if you return to the fold of Islam. The consequences of kufr should never be taken lightly, nor should it be taken as a means to an end.[1]
The same applies to your husband when he said “I am not a Muslim. I believe in my own Islam”. The second statement implies his disobedience in following the religion of Allah (swt) according to the rules of Allah (swt), which is also kufr. If this was the case and he did not repent or reaffirm his faith in the Islam of Allah (swt) before your ‘Iddah was complete, then your marriage would have been annulled.[2]
Secondly, statements of divorce are of two types: clear (Ṣariḥ) and ambiguous (Kināyah). For the most part, your husband’s words would be considered ambiguous since they are not clearly declaring divorce or are delegating the decision of divorce to you. You would therefore need to look at his intention at the time, both your responses and the context of the situation. If you or your husband affirmed these statements in that sitting with words like “I think you did divorce me three times”, or “you do not fulfil my rights” they could be classed as a divorce (Ṭalāq). Also, any divorce that your husband does not recall and you have no evidence for falls under doubt and does not occur.[3]
However, as all the above issues are dependent on unsaid factors in all these instances, I would advise that you both speak with a qualified Muslim councillor or scholar to discuss each instance in depth, with both the context and intentions made clear.
References:
[1]
وَإِسْلَامُهُ أَنْ يَأْتِيَ بِكَلِمَةِ الشَّهَادَةِ، وَيَتَبَرَّأَ عَنْ الْأَدْيَانِ كُلِّهَا سِوَى الْإِسْلَامِ،
Al-Fatāwa al-Hindiyyah (Vol.2, pg.253, Dār Al-Fiqr)
وَلَوْ قَالَ: شو وباخداي جِنّك كُنَّ قَالَ بَعْضُهُمْ: يَكُونُ كُفْرًا، وَإِلَيْهِ مَالَ الشَّيْخُ الْإِمَامُ أَبُو بَكْرٍ مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ الْفَضْلِ وَقَالَ الشَّيْخُ الْإِمَامُ: وَالْأَحْوَطُ تَجْدِيدُ النِّكَاحِ كَذَا فِي فَتَاوَى قَاضِي خَانْ.
Al-Fatāwa al-Hindiyyah (Vol.2, pg.259, Dār Al-Fiqr)
[تَنْبِيهٌ] مُقْتَضَى كَوْنِ حَبْطِ الْعَمَلِ فِي الدُّنْيَا وَالْآخِرَةِ جَزَاءَ الرِّدَّةِ وَإِنْ لَمْ يَمُتْ عَلَيْهَا عِنْدَنَا أَنَّهُ لَوْ أَسْلَمَ لَا تَعُودُ حَسَنَاتُهُ وَإِلَّا كَانَ جَزَاءً لَهَا وَلِلْمَوْتِ عَلَيْهَا مَعًا كَمَا يَقُولُهُ الشَّافِعِيُّ – رَحِمَهُ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى -.
Raddul Muhtār (Vol.2, pg.76, Dār Al-Fiqr)
[2]
مَا كَانَ فِي كَوْنِهِ كُفْرًا اخْتِلَافٌ فَإِنَّ قَائِلَهُ يُؤْمَرُ بِتَجْدِيدِ النِّكَاحِ وَبِالتَّوْبَةِ وَالرُّجُوعِ عَنْ ذَلِكَ بِطَرِيقِ الِاحْتِيَاطِ، وَمَا كَانَ خَطَأً مِنْ الْأَلْفَاظِ، وَلَا يُوجِبُ الْكُفْرَ، فَقَائِلُهُ مُؤْمِنٌ عَلَى حَالِهِ، وَلَا يُؤْمَرُ بِتَجْدِيدِ النِّكَاحِ وَالرُّجُوعِ عَنْ ذَلِكَ كَذَا فِي الْمُحِيطِ.
Al-Fatāwa al-Hindiyyah (Vol.2, pg.283, Dār Al-Fiqr)
(قَوْلُهُ وَتَجِبُ الْعِدَّةُ) ظَاهِرُ كَلَامِهِمْ وُجُوبُهَا مِنْ وَقْتِ التَّفْرِيقِ قَضَاءً وَدِيَانَةً…
(قَوْلُهُ مِنْ وَقْتِ التَّفْرِيقِ) أَيْ تَفْرِيقِ الْقَاضِي، وَمِثْلُهُ التَّفَرُّقُ وَهُوَ فَسْخُهُمَا أَوْ فَسْخُ أَحَدِهِمَا … وَاعْتَبَرْنَا الْعِدَّةَ مِنْ وَقْتِ التَّفْرِيقِ لَا مِنْ آخِرِ الْوَطْآتِ
Raddul Muhtār (Vol.3, pg.133, Dār Al-Fiqr)
(قَوْلُهُ: عِنْدَ زَوَالِ النِّكَاحِ) أُورِدَ عَلَيْهِ أَنَّ الرَّجْعِيَّ لَا يَزُولُ فِيهِ النِّكَاحُ إلَّا بِانْقِضَاءِ الْعِدَّةِ
Raddul Muhtār (Vol.3, pg.503, Dār Al-Fiqr)
وَإِنْ أُخْبِرَتْ الْمَرْأَةُ أَنَّ زَوْجَهَا قَدْ ارْتَدَّ لَهَا أَنْ تَتَزَوَّجَ بِآخَرَ بَعْدَ انْقِضَاءِ الْعِدَّةِ فِي رِوَايَةِ الِاسْتِحْسَانِ وَفِي رِوَايَةِ السِّيَرِ لَيْسَ لَهَا أَنْ تَتَزَوَّجَ قَالَ شَمْسُ الْأَئِمَّةِ السَّرَخْسِيُّ الْأَصَحُّ رِوَايَةُ الِاسْتِحْسَانِ كَذَا فِي فَتَاوَى قَاضِي خَانْ فِي بَابِ الرِّدَّةِ
Al-Fatāwa al-Hindiyyah (Vol.1, pg.340, Dār Al-Fiqr)
[3]
(كِنَايَتُهُ)… (لَا تَطْلُقُ بِهَا) قَضَاءً (إلَّا بِنِيَّةٍ أَوْ دَلَالَةِ الْحَالِ) وَهِيَ حَالَةُ مُذَاكَرَةِ الطَّلَاقِ أَوْ الْغَضَبِ،
Raddul Muhtār (Vol.3, pg.296-7, Dār Al-Fiqr)
…وَإِنْ قَالَ لَهَا: إنْ كُنْتِ تُحِبِّينِي بِقَلْبِكِ فَأَنْت طَالِقٌ فَقَالَتْ: أُحِبُّكِ وَهِيَ كَاذِبَةٌ طَلَقَتْ قَضَاءً وَدِيَانَةً… وَإِذَا قَالَ لِامْرَأَتِهِ: أَنْتِ طَالِقٌ إنْ كُنْتُ أَنَا أُحِبُّ كَذَا ثُمَّ قَالَ: لَسْتُ أُحِبُّ وَهُوَ كَاذِبٌ فِيهِ فَهِيَ امْرَأَتُهُ .
.. ثُمَّ اعْلَمْ أَنَّ التَّعْلِيقَ بِالْمَحَبَّةِ كَالتَّعْلِيقِ بِالْحَيْضِ لَا يَفْتَرِقَانِ إلَّا فِي شَيْئَيْنِ: أَحَدُهُمَا أَنَّ التَّعْلِيقَ بِالْمَحَبَّةِ يَقْتَصِرُ عَلَى الْمَجْلِسِ لِكَوْنِهِ تَخْيِيرًا… وَثَانِيهِمَا أَنَّهَا إذَا كَانَتْ كَاذِبَةً فِي الْإِخْبَارِ تَطْلُقُ فِي التَّعْلِيقِ بِالْمَحَبَّةِ…
Al-Fatāwa al-Hindiyyah (Vol.1, pg.423-4, Dār Al-Fiqr)
قَالَ: لَسْتِ تُحِبِّينِي فَقَالَتْ: إنْ لَمْ أُحِبُّكَ فَأَنْت طَالِقٌ ثَلَاثًا فَقَالَ لَهَا الزَّوْجُ بِالْفَارِسِيَّةِ خَوْد نوئى إنْ قَالَتْ: لَا أُحِبُّك قَبْلَ أَنْ تُفَارِقَهُ وَقَعَ الطَّلَاقُ فَإِنْ فَارَقَتْهُ قَبْلَ أَنْ تَقُولَ شَيْئًا لَمْ يَقَعْ…
Al-Fatāwa al-Hindiyyah (Vol.1, pg.446-7, Dār Al-Fiqr)
إذَا قَالَ لِامْرَأَتِهِ اخْتَارِي يَنْوِي بِذَلِكَ الطَّلَاقَ أَوْ قَالَ لَهَا طَلِّقِي نَفْسَك فَلَهَا أَنْ تُطَلِّقَ نَفْسَهَا مَا دَامَتْ فِي مَجْلِسِهَا ذَلِكَ وَإِنْ تَطَاوَلَ يَوْمًا أَوْ أَكْثَرَ مَا لَمْ تَقُمْ مِنْهُ أَوْ تَأْخُذَ فِي عَمَلٍ آخَرَ…
Al-Fatāwa al-Hindiyyah (Vol.1, pg.387, Dār Al-Fiqr)
امْرَأَةٌ قَالَتْ لِزَوْجِهَا طَلِّقْنِي فَقَالَ لَهَا لَسْت لِي بِامْرَأَةٍ قَالُوا هَذَا جَوَابٌ يَقَعُ بِهِ الطَّلَاقُ وَلَا يَحْتَاجُ إلَى النِّيَّةِ…
…وَلَوْ قَالَتْ أَنَا طَالِقٌ فَقَالَ نَعَمْ طَلُقَتْ وَلَوْ قَالَهُ فِي جَوَابِ طَلِّقْنِي لَا تَطْلُقُ وَإِنْ نَوَى قِيلَ لِرَجُلٍ أَلَسْت طَلَّقْت امْرَأَتَك فَقَالَ بَلَى تَطْلُقُ كَأَنَّهُ قَالَ طَلَّقْت لِأَنَّهُ جَوَابُ الِاسْتِفْهَامِ بِالْإِثْبَاتِ وَلَوْ قَالَ نَعَمْ لَا تَطْلُقُ لِأَنَّهُ جَوَابُ الِاسْتِفْهَامِ بِالنَّفْيِ كَأَنَّهُ قَالَ مَا طَلَّقْت…
Al-Fatāwa al-Hindiyyah (Vol.1, pg.356, Dār Al-Fiqr)
وَإِنْ اخْتَلَفَا فِي وُجُودِ الشَّرْطِ فَالْقَوْلُ لَهُ إلَّا إذَا بَرْهَنَتْ وَمَا لَا يُعْلَمُ إلَّا مِنْهَا فَالْقَوْلُ لَهَا فِي حَقِّهَا
Al-Fatāwa al-Hindiyyah (Vol.1, pg.422, Dār Al-Fiqr)
وَلَوْ شَكَّ فِي نَجَاسَةِ مَاءٍ أَوْ ثَوْبٍ أَوْ طَلَاقٍ أَوْ عِتْقٍ لَمْ يُعْتَبَرْ، وَتَمَامُهُ فِي الْأَشْبَاهِ.
Raddul Muhtār (Vol.1, pg.151, Dār Al-Fiqr)
Only Allah (عز و جل) knows best.
Written by Alimah Maryam Badshah
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
