Words of Separation When Being in a Pre Marital Relationship

CategoriesDivorce [718]

Fatwa ID: 07287



Answered by: Alimah Shireen Mangera-Badat




My now husband and I were in a premarital relationship for 5 years. Before my now husband and I started dating, I remember one conversation where he said to me ‘ please don’t ever feel obligated to be with me. There is no force. Not now not later. You can leave whenever you want if you’re not happy with me. Whether it’s now or after we start dating or after we get married.


Now I’m wondering if that statement of his is applicable as him delegating the right to divorce to me?




In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful





In Islam, pre-marital relationships are strictly prohibited. Admitting to having been in a relationship with your now-husband before marriage indicates that it was a haram (forbidden) relationship. Islam does not permit any romantic or sexual relationships outside the bounds of marriage.



The Quran and Hadith provide clear guidance on this matter:


Surah An-Nur (24:30-31) “Tell the believing men to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts. That is purer for them. Indeed, Allah is Acquainted with what they do. And tell the believing women to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except that which [necessarily] appears thereof…”



“The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, ‘No man should be alone with a woman except when there is a mahram with her.'”1 (Jami Tirmidhi 2793)



Therefore, to further mention any previous conduct that you may have been involved in would now be futile and moving on, given that your previous relationship was haram, the laws of marriage and divorce as per Islamic Sharia would not apply to the pre-marital phase of your relationship. It is important to differentiate between actions taken before marriage and those within the marriage itself.



If, during your marriage, your husband says words that imply divorce, this would indeed be a different situation. The Islamic rules regarding divorce (talaq) and the rules of Talak Tafweedh would then be applicable.



In summary, since you and your now husband were not in a halal relationship at the time, rules of marriage will not have applied, therefore no delegation has been given and no divorce has taken place.



1 حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ اللَّهِ بْنُ أَبِي زِيَادٍ، حَدَّثَنَا زَيْدُ بْنُ حُبَابٍ، أَخْبَرَنِي الضَّحَّاكُ بْنُ عُثْمَانَ، أَخْبَرَنِي زَيْدُ بْنُ أَسْلَمَ، عَنْ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنِ أَبِي سَعِيدٍ الْخُدْرِيِّ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏ “‏ لاَ يَنْظُرُ الرَّجُلُ إِلَى عَوْرَةِ الرَّجُلِ وَلاَ تَنْظُرُ الْمَرْأَةُ إِلَى عَوْرَةِ الْمَرْأَةِ وَلاَ يُفْضِي الرَّجُلُ إِلَى الرَّجُلِ فِي الثَّوْبِ الْوَاحِدِ وَلاَ تُفْضِي الْمَرْأَةُ إِلَى الْمَرْأَةِ فِي الثَّوْبِ الْوَاحِدِ ‏”‏ ‏.‏ قَالَ أَبُو عِيسَى هَذَا حَدِيثٌ حَسَنٌ غَرِيبٌ



Only Allah (عز و جل) knows best.

Written by: Alimah Shireen Mangera-Badat

Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah.

Darul Ifta Birmingham.








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