Fatwa ID: 08546

 

Answered by Alimah Maryam Badshah

 

Question:

 

Eight years ago, I had a secret nikah with my college fellow, without a wali. There was one witness, and the second was the Maulvi who officiated the nikah. A few months later, he gave me one talaq, and we reconciled. After six months, we decided to part ways. At that point, he said two talaqs were left, so he issued those with proper intention.

 

Three weeks later, we regretted our decision and believed we were still in a marital relationship, leading to intimacy. Later, we visited Jamia Ashrafia, Lahore, to seek clarity about the validity of the talaqs. They informed us that the total talaqs were three, making the divorce final and irrevocable. They stated that the only option was halala, which didn’t feel right to me. Eventually, we parted ways permanently.

 

Five months later, I married with my family’s involvement and, Alhamdulillah, I have been very happy in this marriage for the past seven years. I have sincerely repented for my past mistakes. However, I’ve recently been struggling with thoughts that make me restless. I worry that my previous talaq may have been invalid (possibly counting as only two instead of three) and that our intimacy afterwards might have unintentionally reconciled the marriage. This thought leads me to question the validity of my current marriage.

 

We do not have children yet, and I fear that this might be Allah’s way of punishing me for my past. I have searched extensively for answers but have not found clarity. I am desperate for guidance to navigate this situation. Kindly help me understand.

 

 

 

 

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

 

Answer:

 

The previous ruling of three divorces which you have mentioned would almost certainly have been based on sound reasoning and the evidence provided to them. There is no reason to doubt the ruling, especially since no new facts have emerged regarding the incidents. You should continue upon the understanding and the fatwa which you were given, ie: that three divorces occurred, and not let baseless suspicions and waswasa unsettle you or disturb your current marriage.

 

Amongst the many tests of life, not being blessed with children at a time when one desires such is a test from Allah (عز و جل) which can understandably cause a lot of emotional distress. One should not automatically assume that all tests which one experiences are ‘punishments’; there could be many reasons why a person has not yet been blessed with children, and it is something which we entrust to the infinite wisdom of Allah (عز و جل). One should remember that many prophets (as) and pious people throughout history experienced the test of not having children until a later age, including Zakariyyah (as).

 

Abu Sa’eed Al-Khudri (ra) said: “I entered upon the Prophet (ﷺ) when he was suffering from a fever, I placed my hand on him and felt heat with my hand from above the blanket. I said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, how hard it is for you!’ He said: ‘We (Prophets) are like that. The trial is multiplied for us and so is the reward.’ I said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, which people are most severely tested?’ He said: ‘The Prophets.’ I said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, then who?’ He said: ‘Then the righteous, some of whom were tested with poverty until they could not find anything except a cloak to put around themselves. One of them will rejoice at calamity as one of you would rejoice at ease.’”

 

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “Wondrous is the affair of a believer, as there is good for him in every matter; this is not the case for anyone but a believer. If he experiences pleasure, he thanks Allah and it is good for him. If he experiences harm, he shows patience and it is good for him.”

 

One should make sincere du’a and seek patience from Allah (عز و جل). You may also wish to seek medical advice with your husband regarding conception. We ask Allah (عز و جل) for true faith, for protection from trials, for patience to overcome those trials we do face, and for gratitude in every state and circumstance.

 

 

 

 

References:

 

لِأَنَّ قَطْعَ الْوَسْوَسَةِ وَاجِبٌ

Badaai’ Al-Sanaai’ (Daar Al-Kutub Al-‘Ilmiyyah, https://shamela.ws) v.1 p.21

 

وَالسَّبِيلُ فِي الْوَسْوَسَةِ قَطْعُهَا؛ لِأَنَّهُ لَوْ اشْتَغَلَ بِذَلِكَ لَأَدَّى إلَى أَنْ يَتَفَرَّعَ لِأَدَاءِ الصَّلَاةِ، وَهَذَا لَا يَجُوزُ

Badaai’ Al-Sanaai’ (Daar Al-Kutub Al-‘Ilmiyyah, https://shamela.ws) v.1 p.33

 

وَزَكَرِيَّا إِذْ نَادَى رَبَّهُ رَبِّ لا تَذَرْنِي فَرْدًا وَأَنْتَ خَيْرُ الْوَارِثِينَ (٨٩) فَاسْتَجَبْنَا لَهُ وَوَهَبْنَا لَهُ يَحْيَى وَأَصْلَحْنَا لَهُ زَوْجَهُ إِنَّهُمْ كَانُوا يُسَارِعُونَ فِي الْخَيْرَاتِ وَيَدْعُونَنَا رَغَبًا وَرَهَبًا وَكَانُوا لَنَا خَاشِعِينَ (٩٠

يخبر تعالى عن عبده زكريا، حين طلب أن يَهبَه الله ولدا، يكون من بعده نبيًا. وقد تقدمت القصة مبسوطة في أول سورة “مريم” وفي سورة “آل عمران” أيضا، وهاهنا أخصر منهما؛ (إِذْ نَادَى رَبَّهُ) أي: خفية عن قومه: (رَبِّ لا تَذَرْنِي فَرْدًا) أي: لا ولدَ لي ولا وارثَ يقوم بعدي في الناس، (وَأَنْتَ خَيْرُ الْوَارِثِينَ) دعاء وثناء مناسب للمسألة.

قال الله تعالى: (فَاسْتَجَبْنَا لَهُ وَوَهَبْنَا لَهُ يَحْيَى وَأَصْلَحْنَا لَهُ زَوْجَهُ) أي: امرأته.

قال ابن عباس، ومجاهد، وسعيد بن جبير: كانت عاقرا لا تلد، فولدت

Tafsir Ibn Kathir (Salaamah ed., Daar Taybah, https://shamela.ws) v.5 p.370

 

حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنُ إِبْرَاهِيمَ، حَدَّثَنَا ابْنُ أَبِي فُدَيْكٍ، حَدَّثَنِي هِشَامُ بْنُ سَعْدٍ، عَنْ زَيْدِ بْنِ أَسْلَمَ، عَنْ عَطَاءِ بْنِ يَسَارٍ، عَنْ أَبِي سَعِيدٍ الْخُدْرِيِّ، قَالَ دَخَلْتُ عَلَى النَّبِيِّ ـ صلى الله عليه وسلم ـ وَهُوَ يُوعَكُ فَوَضَعْتُ يَدِي عَلَيْهِ فَوَجَدْتُ حَرَّهُ بَيْنَ يَدَىَّ فَوْقَ اللِّحَافِ فَقُلْتُ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ مَا أَشَدَّهَا عَلَيْكَ قَالَ ‏”‏ إِنَّا كَذَلِكَ يُضَعَّفُ لَنَا الْبَلاَءُ وَيُضَعَّفُ لَنَا الأَجْرُ ‏”‏ ‏.‏ قُلْتُ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ أَىُّ النَّاسِ أَشَدُّ بَلاَءً قَالَ ‏”‏ الأَنْبِيَاءُ ‏”‏ ‏.‏ قُلْتُ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ ثُمَّ مَنْ قَالَ ‏”‏ ثُمَّ الصَّالِحُونَ إِنْ كَانَ أَحَدُهُمْ لَيُبْتَلَى بِالْفَقْرِ حَتَّى مَا يَجِدُ أَحَدُهُمْ إِلاَّ الْعَبَاءَةَ يُحَوِّيهَا وَإِنْ كَانَ أَحَدُهُمْ لَيَفْرَحُ بِالْبَلاَءِ كَمَا يَفْرَحُ أَحَدُكُمْ بِالرَّخَاءِ ‏”‏ ‏.‏

Sunan Ibn Majah (https://sunnah.com) b.36, ch.23, no.99 (4024)

 

حَدَّثَنَا هَدَّابُ بْنُ خَالِدٍ الأَزْدِيُّ، وَشَيْبَانُ بْنُ فَرُّوخَ، جَمِيعًا عَنْ سُلَيْمَانَ بْنِ الْمُغِيرَةِ، – وَاللَّفْظُ لِشَيْبَانَ – حَدَّثَنَا سُلَيْمَانُ، حَدَّثَنَا ثَابِتٌ، عَنْ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنِ أَبِي لَيْلَى، عَنْ صُهَيْبٍ، قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏”‏ عَجَبًا لأَمْرِ الْمُؤْمِنِ إِنَّ أَمْرَهُ كُلَّهُ خَيْرٌ وَلَيْسَ ذَاكَ لأَحَدٍ إِلاَّ لِلْمُؤْمِنِ إِنْ أَصَابَتْهُ سَرَّاءُ شَكَرَ فَكَانَ خَيْرًا لَهُ وَإِنْ أَصَابَتْهُ ضَرَّاءُ صَبَرَ فَكَانَ خَيْرًا لَهُ ‏”‏ 

Sahih Muslim (https://sunnah.com) b.55, ch.13, no.823 (2999)

 

 

 

 

 

Only Allah (عز و جل) knows best.

Written by Alimah Humairah Badshah

Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah

Darul Ifta Birmingham