Fatwa ID: 08816
Written by Alimah Aisha Qureshi
Question:
I am brother Junaid from Stuttgart Germany. I am 33 years old and work as an engineer in the academic field. I was/am married to a 20-year-old wife and have a son who is now 3 months old. I just talked to you on the phone regarding my issue. Please find below a more detailed description of our issue:
On the night of the 4th of January, I had an argument in the house of my parents in law. My father in-law did accuse me of pointing the finger to my wife and calling her stupid. He was very angry. I was shocked about the situation and got angry as well. My wife did tell everything which happened in our home to her parents and did not protect me when my father-in-law accused me of torturing her psychologically. Additionally, she started to talk bad stuff about me in front of her parents. Her father also accused me of helping my wife to take care of our two months old son, which should be something honourable in my eyes. I left the house of my parents in law alone in anger and went home. My wife stayed at her parents’ home with my son. I was very angry and did not sleep the whole night.
The next morning at about 8 am I called my wife after I wrote her several text messages to confront her with the situation. She was also in bed at this time. I talked to her about the accusations, and she did not respond and hang up the phone. I called her back very angry and asked her about an accusation which her parents brought up against me the night before, which was the result of stuff she has told them. This accusation was untrue. She said on the phone that this accusation was true after which I got really angry and lost my mind and said Talaq tree or four times and hang up the phone. I think the fourth talaq was spoken after hanging up. I am not sure about that. She says that she clearly heard the talaq tree times. It was unintentional and I was shocked myself after hanging up. Both of us were still in bed when this happened. No one of us wanted any talaq to happen.
Afterwards, we did research on google and found out which implications this might have. I had no exact knowledge about the issues of talaq. We were living together for six months even though our marriage (ruksati) was in July 2021, because she had to finish her alima course in UK. Now my wife and my son are at her parents’ home, and I can barely see my son. I contacted the local Imams in Stuttgart, which are from Turkey and Egypt who told me that only one talaq has happened. My parents-in-law did not accept this as they are follower of the Deoband Hanafi school. They contacted two Muftis in Frankfurt and Mannheim who told that irrespective of the situation if the wife hears talaq tree times, tree talaqs are given and she is haram for you forever. They did not even listen to me carefully.
Now I found the following fatwa on your website which describes my situation very well:
Three Talaqs Whilst Having an Argument with the Wife – Darul Ifta Birmingham
Is this applicable to our situation?
Additionally, on Saturday the 28.1.2023 I talked to a local Imam in Stuttgart about custody of my son, because my father-in-law had very much restricted my time with my son. We also spoke about Iman and the situation in Germany. I talked about my academic career and the time I spend alone in North Germany some years ago which had a really bad impact on my Iman. Despite a good job offer I returned to Stuttgart to be close to my family and my Muslim community. I pretty much started practicing Islam (5 prayers a day) at the start of my university studies, and I picked knowledge up from here and there.
I am a Hanafi but have a lot of friends from different countries and sects of Islam. After my university study I started to work as an academic at the University of Stuttgart with the aim to achieve my PhD. After the birth of my son my wife spend a lot of time at her parents’ home. Neither of us wanted this, but we accepted it as we did not want to hurt her parents. In this time our Iman became very week, and I spend also some free time with my German colleagues who are agnostic. My wife and I pretty much stopped praying and reading the Quran etc.
I talked to the Imam about something which happened on the 22.12.2022. On this day I went to the Christmas market where my German agnostic colleague started to question me about my faith. He asked me if I belief that cutting the hands of a thief or stoning to death of a person who cheats in marriage is correct. I told him that I don’t belief in this anymore. Furthermore, he asked me if my German colleague who is doing a lot of social work for UNICEF but does not belief in God is going to hell. I told him, that I don’t belief this and she has a place in paradise. We also discussed further things about Islamic history which is probably not relevant here. I was aware that I had committed kufr and did Tauba the next day.
The local Imam told me that this is not enough, we should have done nikah again, because such statements break the nikah. He told me about Tajdeed e Nikah. Neither me nor my wife knew that such statement breaks the Nikah. I issued the Talaqs, as mentioned above, about 12 days after this incident. We had not renewed our Nikah. Does this impact the Talaq? Can we renew our Nikah? We would appreciate a fast response to our question as we are very desperate about the situation.
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer:
If a husband pronounces three talaqs (divorces) in one sitting, whether in anger or not, all three are considered valid. Therefore, if you uttered “talaq” three times during your conversation, regardless of the emotional state you were in, the divorce is considered final and irrevocable.
Given that the three talaqs have occurred, the marriage is terminated. To remarry your wife, she must first marry another man, consummate the marriage, and then be divorced or widowed. After completing her waiting period (iddah), you may remarry her.
Regarding the incident on 22.12.2022, where you made statements that could be construed as kufr (disbelief), it’s crucial to understand that such statements can affect the validity of your nikah. If the nikah was invalidated due to these statements, then the talaq pronounced later would not be valid, and the marriage would still be intact. However, if the nikah was valid at the time of the talaq, then the divorce stands.
References:
الطلاق علي ضِربين: صريح و كناية، بالصريح: قوله: انت طالق ، و مطلقة، و طلقتك ، فهذا يقع به الطلاق الرجعي، لان هذا الالفاظ تستعمل في الطلاق ،
Hidayah Vol 2 Pg 84 Bushra Print.
ويقع طلاق من غضِب
Radd al Muhtar Vol 4 Pg 452 1 Publisher: Dar Al- Kotob Al-Ilmiya
Only Allah knows best.
Written by Alimah Aisha Qureshi
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
