Fatwa ID: 07989
Answered by : Aalimah Saleha Bukhari Islam
Question:
As Salam Alaykoom. I am Algerian, I m living in french so i don’t have a good english and I m sorry if I am hard to understand( normally I follow Maliki fiqh but I wanted to talk to you about a matter in my faith and to have the opinion of relaible Hanafi sources because I liked this school of fiqh).
My problem is the following: I am a man, and I would have been ready to do anything for my religion if I had not discovered that a woman must obey her husband. Personally, I have two sisters whom I love deeply and whom I wish to protect from all harm, safeguarding their dignity—I truly love them. But I discovered that when a woman marries, she is obliged to obey everything her husband orders her, as long as it is within the limits of what is permissible. Even this deeply displeases me.
I cannot imagine myself as someone who gives orders to my wife. I want her to also have her dignity, and I would not feel right having more authority over the household than her. If she has disagreements, I would want to hear and listen to her because she seems intelligent enough for that. While I do not reject my role as qawwam for her because it is ordained, having authority over her seems insulting to me. I have tried to listen to the arguments put forth to support this idea, but nothing convinces me.
Just as I am the eldest in my family, I cannot see myself giving orders to my younger brothers and sisters. As a father, I would respect my children; once they reach a certain age of maturity, I would no longer order them around and would let them live their lives, as long as they do not disobey Allah. Indeed, I do not understand why a woman must obey her husband in everything that is permissible. I find it very degrading for women, and I have always been opposed to Western cultures, if you want to know—I do not feel influenced by Western culture personally—but I am stuck on this issue.
I see women as having very, very high dignity, and I do not see obedience to one’s husband as in any way a proof of dignity. Please know that I do not ask this question in the name of controversy. I am sincere in what I say, but I have a very, very big problem with this point, and your website has not provided me with consolation. I have even cried over this. I see women as having as much dignity as men. I am not saying that a woman must work outside the home, being feminist,or do as westerners say etc., but on this issue, I feel deeply troubled.
Even when it comes to the husband having the final say, I can understand that in certain matters, the husband, being financially responsible, has the final word—specifically in matters that stem from his financial responsibility, such as housing, expenses, and the education of children. But I feel that cooperation is far better. I know that disputes will inevitably arise, but this is unavoidable, and it is better to advise husbands and wives to be diplomatic. I wish the best for my family members, and I would feel defiled if one of my sisters had to obey her husband in everything that is halal.
For instance, I saw a video by Sheikh Assim Al-Hakeem, who said that the husband makes the “Simon says” rules as he pleases. Even if he considers his wife’s opinion, the power to decide ultimately rests with him. This feels cruel. No one should have the final word unless it is an extreme emergency. I feel deeply troubled by this question and am very, very worried.
Additionally, I have read multiple times that some muftis say women are less intelligent than men, which has never been proven. My sisters are far more intelligent than my brothers, by far. Many women, and perhaps even a majority, are surely more intelligent than men. It is extremely degrading to describe them in such terms. I understand that men and women are not the same; hormones play specific sexual roles. But in other aspects, nothing has ever been proven. What I mean by this is that a woman is always capable of what a man can do, within limits because we are different, but we are also both human. For example, a woman can have the same ability to teach as a man, a man can be more nurturing than a woman, and a woman can be a better leader than a man. This is basic knowledge.
My younger sister is a far better leader than my younger brother. Throughout history, numerous women have distinguished themselves as particularly powerful and possessing impressive leadership skills, even in the Muslim community—for example, the mother of Harun Al-Rashid. One of the most learned Maliki scholars, Ibn Rushd, acknowledged that women were intellectually similar to men. I know that I am not focusing solely on Islamic texts, but our scholars say that science goes hand in hand with Islam.
Finally, I feel extremely sorry, first before Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He) and also before you, who must surely see this question as something vile coming from a Muslim. I am once again sorry. I read so much about this topic that it almost destroys my faith and my peace of mind. I cling to my faith only thanks to the Quran, which I learn every day. Otherwise, I feel great pain in my heart because of this issue—I cannot emphasize this enough.
بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيْم
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer:
Wa alaikum as salām wa rahmatullāhi wa barakātuh,
Within societies, communities, groups, or teams, logic dictates for there to be one person to take the leadership role; otherwise, there would be anarchy in meeting a structured goal. Even in our Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) is an excellent example of such an essential leadership role. He was chosen by Allah above all others. Similarly, Allah has addressed and attributed us all as having an essential leadership role in some form or another within the society, the community, and within our families. The men, women, and children of this nation (Ummah) have a responsibility to fulfil the rights of Allah and the rights of other human beings.
Narrated Ibn Umar (ra):
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “All of you are guardians and are responsible for your guardianship. The ruler is a guardian, and the man is a guardian of his family, the lady is a guardian and is responsible for her husband’s household and his offspring, and so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your guardianship.”[1]
[Bukhari 5200]
According to Islamic teachings, a father has significant responsibilities towards his family. He is tasked with choosing a virtuous wife who can be a good mother to their children, underscoring the importance of a nurturing home environment. Additionally, a father is responsible for naming his children thoughtfully, educating them in the teachings of the Quran, and instilling good manners. He is also obligated to provide financial support for the household, ensuring the family’s needs are met. These duties highlight the multifaceted role of a father in fostering both the spiritual, physical, and mental well-being of his family.
The statement you mentioned regarding the husband making decisions in the household needs to be understood in the broader Islamic context of mutual consultation (shura) and kindness (mawaddah). Islam encourages husbands and wives to make decisions together. The Quran states:
“And consult them in affairs. Then when you have taken a decision, put your trust in Allah…” [Quran 3:159] [2]
This verse, although initially addressing the Prophet Muhammad, is a principle that applies broadly and emphasises cooperation and mutual respect.
While Islamic teachings do grant the husband a degree of leadership in the family, this is not a license for authoritarian rule but a responsibility to lead with justice, wisdom, and compassion. Thus, in Islam, the concept of a woman obeying her husband is derived from the rulings of Quran and Hadith and is contextualised within the framework of mutual respect and responsibility between spouses. This obedience is not absolute and is subject to the standards of fairness, kindness, and the condition that it does not involve disobedience to Allah.
The Quran lays the foundation for mutual rights and duties between spouses. It states:
“And they (women) have rights similar to those (of men) over them in kindness, and men are a degree above them.” [Quran 2:228] [3]
“Live with them in kindness; even if you dislike them, perhaps you dislike something in which Allah has placed much good.” [Quran 4:19] [4]
These verses emphasise kindness, mutual respect, and the responsibilities husbands have toward their wives, highlighting that while men have a degree of responsibility over women, both partners have reciprocal rights and duties.
The Prophet Muhammad further clarified the dynamics of marital relationships in many ahadith:
It was narrated from Ibn Abbas (ra) that: the Prophet said: “The best of you is the one who is best to his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives.” [Ibn Majah 1977] [5]
Abdullah bin Amr bin Al- ‘As (ra) reported: Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) did not indulge in loose talk, nor did he like to listen to it. He used to say, “The best of you is the best among you in conduct.” [Sahih al-Bukhari 3559] [6]
In another hadith, it was narrated that the Prophet said, “A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty, and her religion. So, you should marry the religious woman (otherwise you will be a loser).” [Bukhari 5090]
These teachings highlight that while there is a leadership role for men in marriage, it must be exercised with compassion and wisdom. Islamic scholars outline that a woman’s obedience to her husband is generally in matters that do not conflict with Islamic teachings and her personal rights. For example, obedience is considered in the context of:
- Managing household affairs.
- Nurturing a family.
- Mutual judgements regarding children’s upbringing and family welfare.
It is crucial, however, that obedience does not involve anything that is haram (forbidden) or that which breaches her rights. For instance, she should not obey her husband if he prevents her from fulfilling her religious duties or abuses her rights clearly stipulated by Islam.
Islamic law also provides women with specific rights and protections:
- The right to financial maintenance (nafaqah: including food, clothing, and accommodation).
- The right to kind and fair treatment.
- The right to sexual fulfilment.
- The right to emotional support.
It is well known that often people in authority may abuse the power invested in them by Allah. Nevertheless, it is sufficient for us to know that no one will escape accountability for the injustice done to others through manipulation of the powers invested in them.
Regarding the claim about women’s intelligence, it’s crucial to understand that Islamic texts should not be interpreted in ways that effect stereotypes or diminish the dignity of women. The hadith often cited in this context discusses the testimony of women and is specific to certain legal contexts, not a general commentary on intelligence. Islamic history is filled with women who were scholars, businesswomen, and leaders, which clearly shows that Islam recognises and has facilitated women’s capabilities and contributions to society.
In conclusion, the view of a woman’s obedience in Islam is balanced with her rights and duties. It encourages cooperation and mutual respect within the marriage, with the goal of maintaining harmony whilst living a healthy family life. As always, the interpretations and applications of these principles can vary, and it’s advisable to consult knowledgeable Islamic scholars for detailed guidance in complex personal or legal matters.
Your feelings of concern reflect a sensitivity to fairness and respect for both genders’ capabilities and roles. It’s a valuable trait to continue exploring these topics through direct engagement with knowledgeable and balanced scholars and by studying the rich heritage of Islamic scholarship that includes contributions from both men and women. This approach of questioning provides a more comprehensive understanding of how Islam views and values the roles and contributions of all individuals in society.
I’d like to assure you that there is nothing vile about your question. On the contrary, it echoes and highlights the beauty of the true message of Islam and the measured balance it provides in governing how we live in society.
Only Allah (عز و جل) knows best
Written by Aalimah Saleha Bukhari Islam
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
[1]حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدَانُ، أَخْبَرَنَا عَبْدُ اللَّهِ، أَخْبَرَنَا مُوسَى بْنُ عُقْبَةَ، عَنْ نَافِعٍ، عَنِ ابْنِ عُمَرَ ـ رضى الله عنهما ـ عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ “ كُلُّكُمْ رَاعٍ، وَكُلُّكُمْ مَسْئُولٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ، وَالأَمِيرُ رَاعٍ، وَالرَّجُلُ رَاعٍ عَلَى أَهْلِ بَيْتِهِ، وَالْمَرْأَةُ رَاعِيَةٌ عَلَى بَيْتِ زَوْجِهَا وَوَلَدِهِ، فَكُلُّكُمْ رَاعٍ وَكُلُّكُمْ مَسْئُولٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ ”.
[3] وَلَهُنَّ مِثْلُ ٱلَّذِى عَلَيْهِنَّ بِٱلْمَعْرُوفِ ۚ وَلِلرِّجَالِ عَلَيْهِنَّ دَرَجَةٌۭ ۗ وَٱللَّهُ عَزِيزٌ حَكِيمٌ ٢٢٨
[4] وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِٱلْمَعْرُوفِ ۚ فَإِن كَرِهْتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسَىٰٓ أَن تَكْرَهُوا۟ شَيْـًۭٔا وَيَجْعَلَ ٱللَّهُ فِيهِ خَيْرًۭا كَثِيرًۭا ١٩
[5] حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو بِشْرٍ، بَكْرُ بْنُ خَلَفٍ وَمُحَمَّدُ بْنُ يَحْيَى قَالاَ حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو عَاصِمٍ، عَنْ جَعْفَرِ بْنِ يَحْيَى بْنِ ثَوْبَانَ، عَنْ عَمِّهِ، عُمَارَةَ بْنِ ثَوْبَانَ عَنْ عَطَاءٍ، عَنِ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ ـ صلى الله عليه وسلم ـ قَالَ “ خَيْرُكُمْ خَيْرُكُمْ لأَهْلِهِ وَأَنَا خَيْرُكُمْ لأَهْلِي ” .
[6] وعن عبد الله بن عمرو بن العاص رضي الله عنهما قال: لم يكن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم فاحشاً ولا متفحشاً. وكان يقول: “إن من خياركم أحسنكم أخلاقاً” ((متفق عليه)).
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Question:
Salam,I have a few questions pertaining to hurmat musahara.No 1 Is the intention for sexual pleasure a requirement in establishing hurmat musahara and if there is no intention but lust forms involuntarily will hurmat musahara occur?No 2 Is skin to skin contact necessary for the establishment of hurmat musahara?No 3 How much erection is necessary for the establishment of hurmat musahara?Jzk
بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيْم
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer:
Wa alaikum as salām wa rahmatullāhi wa barakātuh,
When a mature (baligh) male or female touches the opposite gender with desire/lust, (in the case of two bodies) separated by a thin barrier between them whereby the body warmth is felt, then Hurmatul Musaharah is said to be established. The presence of desire/lust (shahwah) is given precedence to. What we can understand from this description is that a thin layer which allows the heat of two bodies to be felt and giving rise to desire/lust. [1]
A general principle in the Hanafi madhab is that lustful touching establishes the prohibition of marriage (i.e. the man is forbidden to marry the woman’s female descendants and ascendants, and the woman is forbidden to marry the man’s male descendants and ascendants). Thus, Hurmatul Musaharah is established based on lustful touching.
In answer to your questions: [2] [3] [4]
- Intention is not a requirement in establishing Hurmatul Musaharah because what is taken into consideration is the manifestation of lust/desire. Feeling lust/desire is considered a natural part of human experience, it does not constitute an intention. Intention involves a conscious decision to pursue an action informed by that desire. How one manages and responds to these desires is crucial in determining their accountability according to Islamic principles.
Nevertheless, sexual arousal (even if one sided) accompanied with desire/lust is the very factor which establishes Hurmatul Musaharah. To explain further, if lust/desire (shahwah) accompanied by erection had already existed and did not increase upon touching, or did not occur after touching, then Hurmatul Musaharah is unestablished. If lust/desire (shahwah) accompanied by erection had already existed and further increased due to touching, or even occurred after touching, then Hurmatul Musaharah is established.
- Skin to skin contact is not always necessary to establish Hurmatul Musaharah. Generally, if two bodies meet between a thin layer which allows the body heat to be felt and gives rise to lust/desire, then Hurmatul Musaharah is established. Note, touching is a condition for the prohibition of lustful acts to be considered valid when ejaculation occurs. Thus, ejaculation without touching is not considered to establish Hurmatul Musaharah.
However, on the flip side, looking directly (not through a mirror) at the male or female genitalia with lust/desire, even if not accompanied by touch will establish Hurmatul Musaharah. For a male this means looking at the female genitalia directly, more specifically the labia minora (inner lips – farj-dakhil), which are located within the confines of the labia majora (outer lips – farj kharij). If the looking is accompanied with lust/desire, then Hurmatul Musaharah is established. [Looking at the labia majora or any other parts of the body will not establish hurmah.] For a female this means looking at the male genitalia directly, accompanied with lust/desire. Note, Hurmatul Musaharah is established irrespective of whether the male genitalia is erect or not.
- It is not necessary for sexual arousal to be accompanied by an erection of the male genitalia. In Al-Hidayah there is clarification that while an erection may signify arousal, lustful intention is primarily determined by the heart’s inclination. The extent to which desire qualifies as lustful intention is debated among scholars. Essentially, lust is identified by a noticeable increase in desire or the heart beginning to incline toward someone when it previously had not. Most scholars agree that lust entails a distinct longing for intercourse, marked by the heart’s inclination towards another.
Only Allah (عز و جل) knows best.
Written by Aalimah Saleha Bukhari Islam
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
[1] (وَأَصْلُ مَاسَّتِهِ وَنَاظِرَةٍ إلَى ذَكَرِهِ وَالْمَنْظُورُ إلَى فَرْجِهَا) الْمُدَوَّرِ (الدَّاخِلِ) وَلَوْ نَظَرَهُ مِنْ زُجَاجٍ أَوْ مَاءٍ هِيَ فِيهِ (وَفُرُوعُهُنَّ) مُطْلَقًا وَالْعِبْرَةُ لِلشَّهْوَةِ عِنْدَ الْمَسِّ وَالنَّظَرِ لَا بَعْدَهُمَا وَحَدُّهَا فِيهِمَا تَحَرُّكُ آلَتِهِ أَوْ زِيَادَتُهُ بِهِ يُفْتَى وَفِي امْرَأَةٍ وَنَحْوِ شَيْخٍ كَبِيرٍ تَحَرَّكَ قُبُلُهُ أَوْ زِيَادَتُهُ وَفِي الْجَوْهَرَةِ: لَا يُشْتَرَطُ فِي النَّظَرِ لِفَرْجٍ تَحْرِيكُ آلَتِهِ بِهِ يُفْتَى هَذَا إذَا لَمْ يُنْزِلْ فَلَوْ أَنْزَلَ مَعَ مَسٍّ أَوْ نَظَرٍ فَلَا حُرْمَةَ بِهِ يُفْتِي
ص33 – كتاب حاشية ابن عابدين رد المحتار ط الحلبي – فروع طلق امرأته تطليقتين ولها منه لبن فاعتدت فنكحت صغيرا فأرضعته فحرمت عليه فنكحت آخر فدخل بها – المكتبة الشاملة
[2] وحد الشهوة أن يشتهي بقلبه، ويَتَلَذَّذ به، ويَمِيل أنْ يُوَاقِعَها، ولا يُشترط تَحَرُّكُ الآلة ولا انتشارها، وهو الأصح عند بعضهم، وقيل: يُشْتَرَطَان. وفي «الخلاصة»: وعليه الفتوى. ويعتبر في الشهوة أن تكون عند اللمس والنظر، حتى لو وُجِد بغير شهوة ثم اشتهى بعد الترك، لا تتعلق به الحرمة. ويُشترط أن لا يُنْزِلَ عند اللمس والنظر، حتى لو أنزل لا يثبت حرمة المصاهرة وعليه الفتوى، لأن اللمس والنظر حينئذ ليسا بمُفْضِيَيْنِ إلى الوطاء، وما أثبتنا حرمةَ المصاهرة إلا لإفضائها إلى الوطاء.
بشهوةٍ حَرُمَتْ عليه أُمُّها وابْنَتُها» (١) . وعن عمر أنه جَرَّد جاريةً ونظر إليها، ثم استوهبها منه بعض بنيه فقال: إنها لا تَحِلُّ لك. وعن عبد الله بن عمر أنه قال: إذا جامع الرجلُ المرأةَ أو قَبَّلها أو لمسها بشهوة، أو نظر إلى فرجها بشهوة، حَرُمَتْ على أبيه وابنه، وحرمت عليه أُمُّها وابنتها. وعن مسروق أنه قال: بيعوا جاريتي هذه، أما أنِّي لم أُصِبْ منها إلا ما يُحَرِّمها على ولدي من المس والقُبْلَة.
ولو نظر إلى فرجها من وراء زجاج، أَوْ من وراء ماء بأن كانت في الماء، تثبتُ المصاهرةُ، ولو نَظَرَ فَرْجَها في المرآة لا تثبت، لأنه عَكَسَ فَرْجَها لا حقيقته، ولو نظرت المرأةُ إلى ذَكَر الرجل فهو مثل نظر الرجل إلى فرج المرأة.
ص15 – كتاب فتح باب العناية بشرح النقاية – كتاب النكاح – المكتبة الشاملة
[3] (قَوْلُهُ: إلَى فَرْجِهَا الدَّاخِلِ) هُوَ الْمُفْتَى بِهِ، وَقِيلَ إلَى الشِّقِّ أَوْ مَنَابِتِ الشَّعْرِ وَحَدُّ الشَّهْوَةِ مُخْتَلَفٌ فِيهِ صَحَّحَ فِي الْمُحِيطِ وَالتُّحْفَةِ وَغَايَةِ الْبَيَانِ أَنْ يَشْتَهِيَ بِقَلْبِهِ إنْ لَمْ يَكُنْ مُشْتَهِيًا أَوْ يَزْدَادَ اشْتِهَاءً وَلَا يُشْتَرَطُ تَحَرُّكُ الْآلَةِ وَصَحَّحَ فِي الْهِدَايَةِ أَنَّهُ لَا بُدَّ مِنْ الِانْتِشَارِ أَوْ ازْدِيَادِهِ إنْ كَانَ مُنْتَشِرًا وَالْمَذْهَبُ مَا فِي الْهِدَايَةِ وَمَحَلُّ ثُبُوتِ الْحُرْمَةِ مَا لَمْ يَتَّصِلْ الْإِنْزَالُ بِالْمَسِّ فَإِنْ أَنْزَلَ بِهِ لَا تَثْبُتُ الْحُرْمَةُ فِي الصَّحِيحِ وَعَلَيْهِ الْفَتْوَى، كَذَا فِي الْبَحْرِ وَالْكَافِي وَفِي الشَّيْخِ وَالْعِنِّينِ عَلَامَةُ الشَّهْوَةِ أَنْ يَتَحَرَّكَ قَلْبُهُ بِالِاشْتِهَاءِ إنْ لَمْ يَكُنْ مُتَحَرِّكًا قَبْلَ ذَلِكَ، وَإِنْ كَانَ فَيَزْدَادُ التَّحَرُّكُ وَالِاشْتِهَاءُ قَالَ عَامَّةُ الْعُلَمَاءِ الشَّهْوَةُ أَنْ يَمِيلَ قَلْبُهُ إلَيْهَا وَيَشْتَهِيَ أَنْ يُوَاقِعَهَا، كَذَا فِي قَاضِي خَانْ.
ص330 – كتاب درر الحكام شرح غرر الأحكام – نكاح مسلم ذمية عند ذميين – المكتبة الشاملة
[4] (قَوْلُهُ: وَفِي الْخَانِيَّةِ إلَخْ) مُسْتَغْنًى عَنْهُ بِمَا تَقَدَّمَ ح (قَوْلُهُ: فَدَخَلَتْ فِرَاشَ أَبِيهَا) كَنَّى بِهِ عَنْ الْمَسِّ، وَإِلَّا فَمُجَرَّدُ الدُّخُولِ بِغَيْرِ مَسٍّ لَا يُعْتَبَرُ ط. (قَوْلُهُ: لَيْسَتْ بِمُشْتَهَاةٍ بِهِ يُفْتَى) كَذَا فِي الْبَحْرِ عَنْ الْخَانِيَّةِ، ثُمَّ قَالَ فَأَفَادَ أَنَّهُ لَا فَرْقَ بَيْنَ أَنْ تَكُونَ سَمِينَةً أَوْ لَا وَلِذَا قَالَ فِي الْمِعْرَاجِ بِنْتُ خَمْسٍ لَا تَكُونُ مُشْتَهَاةً اتِّفَاقًا وَبِنْتُ تِسْعٍ فَصَاعِدًا مُشْتَهَاةٌ اتِّفَاقًا وَفِيمَا بَيْنَ الْخَمْسِ وَالتِّسْعِ اخْتِلَافُ الرِّوَايَةِ وَالْمَشَايِخِ وَالْأَصَحُّ أَنَّهَا لَا تَثْبُتُ الْحُرْمَةُ. اهـ. (قَوْلُهُ: وَإِنْ ادَّعَتْ الشَّهْوَةَ فِي تَقْبِيلِهِ) أَيْ ادَّعَتْ الزَّوْجَةُ أَنَّهُ قَبَّلَ أَحَدَ أُصُولِهَا أَوْ فُرُوعِهَا بِشَهْوَةٍ أَوْ أَنَّ أَحَدَ أُصُولِهَا أَوْ فُرُوعِهَا قَبَّلَهُ بِشَهْوَةٍ، فَهُوَ مَصْدَرٌ مُضَافٌ إلَى فَاعِلِهِ أَوْ مَفْعُولِهِ وَكَذَا قَوْلُهُ: أَوْ تَقْبِيلُهَا ابْنَهُ، فَإِنْ كَانَتْ إضَافَتُهُ إلَى الْمَفْعُولِ فَابْنُهُ فَاعِلٌ وَالْأَنْسَبُ لِنَظْمِ الْكَلَامِ إضَافَةُ الْأَوَّلِ لِفَاعِلِهِ وَالثَّانِي لِمَفْعُولِهِ لِيَكُونَ فَاعِلَ يَقُومُ الرَّجُلُ أَوْ ابْنُهُ كَمَا أَفَادَهُ ح (قَوْلُهُ: فَهُوَ مُضَافٌ) لِأَنَّهُ يُنْكِرُ ثُبُوتَ الْحُرْمَةِ وَالْقَوْلِ لِلْمُنْكِرِ، وَهَذَا ذَكَرَهُ فِي الذَّخِيرَةِ فِي الْمَسِّ لَا فِي التَّقْبِيلِ كَمَا فَعَلَ الشَّارِحُ فَإِنَّهُ مُخَالِفٌ لِمَا مَشَى عَلَيْهِ الْمُصَنِّفُ أَوْ لَا مِنْ أَنَّهُ فِي التَّقْبِيلِ يُفْتَى بِالْحُرْمَةِ مَا لَمْ يَظْهَرْ عَدَمُ الشَّهْوَةِ، وَقَدَّمْنَا عَنْ الذَّخِيرَةِ نَقْلَ الْخِلَافِ فِي ذَلِكَ فَمَا هُنَا مَبْنِيٌّ عَلَى مَا فِي بُيُوعِ الْعُيُونِ (قَوْلُهُ: آلَتُهُ) بِالرَّفْعِ فَاعِلُ مُنْتَشِرًا ط (قَوْلُهُ: أَوْ يَرْكَبَ مَعَهَا) أَيْ عَلَى دَابَّةٍ بِخِلَافِ مَا إذَا رَكِبَتْ عَلَى ظَهْرِهِ وَعَبَرَ الْمَاءَ حَيْثُ يُصَدَّقُ فِي أَنَّهُ لَا عَنْ شَهْوَةٍ بَزَّازِيَّةٌ (قَوْلُهُ: وَفِي الْفَتْحِ إلَخْ) قَالَ فِيهِ: وَالْحَاصِلُ: أَنَّهُ إذَا أَقَرَّ بِالنَّظَرِ وَأَنْكَرَ الشَّهْوَةَ صُدِّقَ بِلَا خِلَافٍ، وَفِي الْمُبَاشَرَةِ لَا يُصَدَّقُ بِلَا خِلَافٍ فِيمَا أَعْلَمُ وَفِي التَّقْبِيلِ اُخْتُلِفَ فِيهِ قِيلَ لَا يُصَدَّقُ لِأَنَّهُ لَا يَكُونُ إلَّا عَنْ شَهْوَةٍ غَالِبًا، فَلَا يُقْبَلُ إلَّا أَنْ يَظْهَرَ خِلَافُهُ بِالِانْتِشَارِ وَنَحْوِهِ، وَقِيلَ يُقْبَلُ، وَقِيلَ بِالتَّفْصِيلِ بَيْنَ كَوْنِهِ عَلَى الرَّأْسِ وَالْجَبْهَةِ وَالْخَدِّ فَيُصَدَّقُ أَوْ عَلَى الْفَمِ فَلَا وَالْأَرْجَحُ هَذَا إلَّا أَنَّ الْخَدَّ يَتَرَاءَى إلْحَاقُهُ بِالْفَمِ. اهـ.
ص37 – كتاب حاشية ابن عابدين رد المحتار ط الحلبي – فروع طلق امرأته تطليقتين ولها منه لبن فاعتدت فنكحت صغيرا فأرضعته فحرمت عليه فنكحت آخر فدخل بها – المكتبة الشاملة
