Fatwa ID: 07968

 

Answered by Alimah Shireen Mangera-Badat

 

Question:

 

I was wondering what should be prioritised: doing good deeds or listening to your parents. For example, if your parents ask you to study instead of going to an Islamic class.

 

Or if your parents ask you to not follow the sunnah of having a hard bed to make it easy to wake up for tahajjud.
They are advising you to have a softer bed because they think it will be better for your back.

 

Or if they are advising you not to volunteer/help others as this is a waste of time in their opinion.

 

Or if you would like to spend money on and wake up early to do Arabic lessons but they think it is a waste of money and that you shouldn’t wake up so early.

 

 

 

 

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

 

Answer:

 

Your primary obligation is to fulfil Allah’s commands. [1]In situations involving your parents, it is essential to find a balance between their instructions and your religious duties; as listening to your parents is recommended through hadith and the Quran.[2]

 

If listening to your parents helps you fulfil Allah’s commands—such as completing the Five Pillars of Islam—then obeying them takes precedence.

 

Subsequently, in your case, when your parents are asking you to study instead of attending an Islamic class, if it is obligatory knowledge, whether it’s Secular or Islamic, it may be advised to find a balance.

 

Similarly, if your parents advise you not to volunteer because they believe it interferes with your ability to fulfil your obligations to Allah, you should follow their guidance in this case as well.

 

However, if their instructions directly involve disobedience to Allah, you are not required to obey them in such matters, as there is no obedience to creation when it conflicts with obedience to the Creator.[3]

 

 

 

Only Allah knows best.

Written by Alimah Shireen Mangera-Badat

Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah

Darul Ifta Birmingham

 

 

 

 

 

[1] وَعَنِ النَّوَّاسِ بْنِ سِمْعَانَ قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: «لَا طَاعَةَ لِمَخْلُوقٍ فِي مَعْصِيَةِ الْخَالِقِ» . رَوَاهُ فِي شَرْحِ السّنة

Mishkaat al-Masabih 3696

 

 

[2] حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ بَشَّارٍ، وَمُحَمَّدُ بْنُ الْمُثَنَّى، قَالاَ حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ جَعْفَرٍ، حَدَّثَنَا شُعْبَةُ، عَنْ سِمَاكِ بْنِ حَرْبٍ، قَالَ سَمِعْتُ مُصْعَبَ بْنَ سَعْدٍ، يُحَدِّثُ عَنْ أَبِيهِ، سَعْدٍ قَالَ أُنْزِلَتْ فِيَّ أَرْبَعُ آيَاتٍ ‏.‏ فَذَكَرَ قِصَّةً فَقَالَتْ أُمُّ سَعْدٍ أَلَيْسَ قَدْ أَمَرَ اللَّهُ بِالْبِرِّ وَاللَّهِ لاَ أَطْعَمُ طَعَامًا وَلاَ أَشْرَبُ شَرَابًا حَتَّى أَمُوتَ أَوْ تَكْفُرَ قَالَ فَكَانُوا إِذَا أَرَادُوا أَنْ يُطْعِمُوهَا شَجَرُوا فَاهَا فَنَزَلَتْ هَذِهِ الآيَةُ ‏:‏ ‏(‏ووَصَّيْنَا الإِنْسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حُسْنًا ‏)‏ الآيَةَ ‏.‏ قَالَ أَبُو عِيسَى هَذَا حَدِيثٌ حَسَنٌ صَحِيحٌ

Jami` at-Tirmidhi 3189

 

 

[3] وإن كان مع الرجل الذي يريد أن يعينه أبواه فنهياه عن ذلك، فليس ينبغي له أن يطيعهما، ولا يسعهما أن يمنعاه إلا أن يكون به قوة عليه، فإن كان كذلك فليطعهما، وإنما ينبغي طاعة الوالدين في التطوع الذي يسع تركه، فنفاذ برهما أفضل من الجهاد التطوع، فإذا جاءت الفريضة والأمر الذي لا يسع الرجل فيه إلا أن … لم يلتفت في هذا إلى طاعة الوالدين، وكانت طاعة الله تعالى أحقّ أن يؤخذ بها من طاعة الوالدين.

ص394 – كتاب المحيط البرهاني – الفصل التاسع والعشرون في القرض ما يكره من ذلك وما لا يكره – المكتبة الشامل