Fatwa ID: 07465
Answered by Alimah Shireen Mangera-Badat
Question:
Aslam Aleykum. I would like to ask a question. My wife keeps mentioning a man who is related to me. I suspect she may fancy this guy because of the way she acts, and she keeps mentioning His name every time and saying things like can we invite him to our house.
One time she was sitting next to me watching TikTok and there I heard the videos she was watching. It was a guy who loved a woman, but the woman did not love him. After hearing that I said “If I suspect a woman loving another man I’m not going to want that woman anymore” or “I will not want that woman” I did not directly aim at her but was giving a hint because in my heart I had little suspicious that she may fancy him, and it angers me a bit and made me jealous. I was trying to send an indirect warning message to her because in my heart I feel a little bit jealous. Is this considered divorce?
But I never wanted to divorce my wife I love her dearly it’s just I felt jealous. And want to protect what’s mine And I wish she could stop mentioning this man’s name. Jazakallahu kheyr.
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer:
In Hanafi Fiqh, the concept of divorce (ṭalāq) is taken very seriously and requires clear and explicit intent or wording. To understand whether your statement could be considered a form of ṭalāq, let’s analyze the situation considering Hanafi principles:
- Indirect Statements and Divorce (Kināyah in Divorce):
In Islamic jurisprudence, divorce can be issued either:
- Explicitly (ṣarīḥ), using clear words like “I divorce you” or “You are divorced.”
- Indirectly (kināyah), using ambiguous words that may or may not imply divorce, depending on the intention of the husband.
In Hanafi Fiqh, explicit words of divorce result in divorce regardless of the husband’s intention. However, in the case of indirect words (kināyah), the intention of the husband plays a crucial role. If the husband did not intend to divorce by the indirect words, no divorce takes place.
In your situation, the words you used are indirect and can be classified as kināyah because they don’t explicitly mention divorce. You were expressing jealousy and frustration, but you did not say anything directly along the lines of “I divorce you.”
- Intention (Niyyah):
Since the words were indirect, the key factor in determining whether this counts as divorce are your intention (niyyah) at the time of saying those words. In Hanafi Fiqh, if a husband uses indirect expressions, the divorce only takes effect if he intended divorce when making the statement.
Based on your description, you had no intention of divorcing your wife. You were expressing frustration and jealousy and wanted to give her an indirect warning but had no actual desire to divorce her. Therefore, since there was no intention of divorce, and the statement was not explicit, this would not count as a divorce in Hanafi Fiqh.
- Clarification for the Future:
It’s important to be mindful of the words we use, especially in the context of marriage, as misunderstandings can cause unnecessary stress. Even indirect statements, if misunderstood, can lead to confusion. In the future, it’s best to avoid using ambiguous phrases that could be interpreted as divorce, even indirectly, to prevent any doubt from arising.
The statement you made is considered kināyah (indirect) and does not automatically result in divorce unless it was accompanied by the intention of divorce.
Since you had no intention of divorcing your wife and love her dearly, this statement does not constitute a valid divorce.
It’s advisable to avoid such ambiguous language in the future to prevent doubts or misunderstandings.
It will be good to remember for the future to try to have an open and honest conversation with your wife about your feelings of jealousy and concern. Communication can help resolve issues of trust and prevent such situations from escalating into misunderstandings. Remember that a healthy marriage is built on mutual respect, trust, and clear communication.
“وأما الطلاق بلفظ غير الصريح كقوله: اخرجي، أو: الحقي بأهلك، أو: لا حاجة لي فيك، فهذا لا يقع به الطلاق إلا بالنية.”
Page 375- الهداية- كتاب الطلاق
“فإنه لا يقع الطلاق بلفظ الكناية إلا بنية الزوج، لأن لفظ الكناية يحتمل الطلاق وغيره، فلا يقع إلا بالنية.”
)Radd Mukhtar- page 245)
Only Allah knows best.
Written by Alimah Shireen Mangera-Badat
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
