Fatwa ID: 04506
Answered by: Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Salam, I have an important question based on my current life situation that I could do with some Islamic guidance.
I have been married to my husband for 12 years. Unfortunately, we are unable to have children naturally due to a problem with my husband. The only way to extract sperm cells is via IVF. We have tried IVF twice in the past and both times it was unsuccessful. 2014 and 2015 respectively.
It has been 4 years since we last tried IVF and in between, we have seen Hakeems and doctors for any other solutions. My husband is adamant to avoid IVF in the future and has ruled it out. He observes it is a disappointing and also a costly experience (£5000 per treatment) and says if Allah wills us to have a child then we shall have so in a natural way when the time is right.
I am now 34 years old and get rather scared of no children in the future and have recently started to ask for another IVF treatment. I wanted to ask that whilst I believe that Allah plans best for us, am I right in forcing my husband to try it another time even though he strictly doesn't want to?
If Our life purpose is to study the deen and ensure its continuation through our children then is he not committing a sin is not trying this one admittedly slim chance over and over again?
I am unsure whether it is Islamically correct or not to keep my hopes solely on just IVF when my husband counters it with "just leave it in Allah's hands for when the time is right."
Also with my husband's problem getting worse he now suffers from ED which means our bedroom life is literally nonexistent. Is there any Islamic advice on options on this?
I appreciate any help you may be able to give on this matter.
بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيْم
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
From an Islamic perspective, there is not a maximum time one needs to try IVF treatment for. The treatment can be carried out by couples as long as it is financially viable for them. Where it becomes a burden financially or where the couples feel the treatment is not working then it will be best to avoid it.
In the meantime pray to Allah (SWA) Salatul Hajjah, which is a two rakaat optional prayer, and ask Allah (SWA) to fulfill your wish of having children.
One should perform wudu and performs two voluntary rakas of prayer. One then praises Allah, sends blessings and peace upon the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him), and makes the following supplication, after which one asks his or her particular need:
لا إِلَهَ إلاَّ اللهُ الحَلِيمُ الكَرِيمُ، سُبْحَانَ اللهِ رَبِّ الْعَرْشِ العَظِيمِ ، الحَمْدُ لِلهِ رَبِّ العَالَمِيْنَ ، أَسْأَلُكَ مُوجِبَاتِ رَحْمَتِكَ ، وَعَزَائِمَ مَغْفِرَتِكَ ، وَالْغَنِيمَةَ مِنْ كُلِّ بِرّ،ٍ وَالسَّلامَةَ مِنْ كُلِّ إِثْمٍ ،لاَ تَدَعْ لِيْ ذَنْباً إِلاَّ غَفَرْتَهُ، وَلاَ هَمَّاً إِلاَّ فَرَّجْتَهُ، وَلاَ حَاجَةً هِيَ لَكَ رِضاً إِلاَّ قَضَيتَهَا يَا أَرْحَمَ الرَّاحِمِيْنَ
“There is no deity but Allāh, the Most Forbearing, the Ever-Generous. Glory be unto Allāh, Lord of the Great Throne. Praise be to Allāh, Lord of all the worlds. I ask you for those things that bring about Your mercy and Your complete forgiveness; [for] a full portion of every righteous act, and safety from every vice. Do not leave any sin of mine except that You forgive it; any anxiety except that You relieve it; nor any need of mine that pleases You except that You fulfill it, O Most Merciful of those who show mercy.” [Tirmidhi]
Physical intimacy is the right of the wife as well. She does have the right Islamically to annul the marriage. However, if the wife is willing to forego her right, then she may do so. (Muheetul Burhaani p.352 v.3)
Only Allah Knows Best
Written by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham