Intimate Marital Questions

Fatwa ID: 04162

Answered by: Mufti Eunus Ali

 

Question:

Assalamu-Alaikum.


I want to clear some doubts about establishing marital relations with my future wife InshaAllah. Sorry for so many questions.

1. Is it permissible for both of us to sleep naked after having sex with a blanket over both of us?

2. Is it compulsory to do Janabat Ghusl immediately after having sex? Or if we do it before Fajr Salah?

3. Is it permissible to use prom scent spray on the penis before having sex to elongate the length of ejaculation?

4. If there is any other method to delay ejaculation?

5. Is it permissible to use the We-Vibe toy while having sex?

6. After the birth of the first child how many years gap should be there for another child?

7. If we can use contraception if we don't want more kids?

8. Can we both talk dirty while having sex? I heard talking during sex is not permitted. Can you please help me out?

9. What is the best time to have sex? Is it permissible to have it anytime? How about morning sex?
Any times when it is not permitted?

 

 

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيْم

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

 

Answer:

  1. It will be permissible for the husband and wife to sleep naked under the blanket provided that no third party has access to the room at that time.[1]

 

Although the above is permissible, modesty should be adopted where appropriate.

It is by Abu Huraira (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet () said, "Faith (Belief) consists of more than sixty branches. And modesty is a part of faith."[2]

 

Bahz Bin Hakim (may Allah be pleased with him) has narrated from his father that his grandfather said: “I said: 'O Messenger of Allah, with regard to our 'Awrah, what may we uncover of it and what must we conceal?' He said: 'Cover your 'Awrah, except your wife and those whom your right hand possesses.' I said: 'O Messenger of Allah, what if the people live close together?' He said: 'If you can make sure that no one sees it, then do not let anyone see it.' I said: 'O Messenger of Allah, what if one of us is alone?' He said: 'Allah is more deserving than you should feel shy before Him than People.' ”[3]

 

  1. 'A'isha(may Allah be pleased with her) has reported: Whenever the Messenger of Allah () intended to sleep after having sexual intercourse, he performed ablution as for the prayer before going to sleep.[4]

 

From the above Hadith, we learn that it is not necessary to perform the ghusl of janabah immediately, rather it could be delayed.[5]

 

It was the practice of the Messenger of Allah () to perform wudhu when he did not intend to perform the ghusl immediately after sexual relation.

 

  1. The ingredients of the above-mentioned spray will have to be looked into. If the spray is made up of impure or haram substances, it will not be permissible for normal use.[6] Otherwise, it will be fine.

 

  1. 'In order to delay ejaculation, the husband should do the following[7]:

 

  1. Avoid having his sexual organ stroked or caressed during foreplay. The less contact made between his sexual organ and his wife's body, the easier it will be for him to control himself.

 

  1. When having sex, divert his attention to something else, so that it helps him control himself.

 

  1. Both spouses should avoid excessive movement during the actual act of sex because excessive movement will result in him ejaculating early. (See: Usul al-Mu'ashara al-Zawjiyya P: 71-72)

 

  1.  Imam Murtada Al-Zabidi states in his commentary of the Ihya Uloom Al-Din of Imam al-Ghazali (Allah have mercy on both) that the most beneficial remedy for someone affected by premature ejaculation is to avoid having sex before foreplay. He should sexually arouse his wife by playing around with her, kissing her, stroking her breasts, embracing her, and the like. Then, when he sees that her color has changed and her eyes have become red [out of desire for him], and he feels that she is ready, prepared, and desirous of him, only then should he initiate actual sexual intercourse. (See: Ithaf al-Sadat al-Muttaqin bi Sharh IhyaUloom al-Din 6:176)'

 

  1. Mutual masturbation is permitted by the Shariah between the husband and wife.[8]

 

However, sex aids or toys such as vibrators will only be permissible for use when it is used to stimulate the outer part of the private part (including the clitoris) or any other part of the body when used by the husband on the wife.

 

It will not be permissible to insert vibrators and the like in the inner private part of the wife in order for her to reach orgasm even though it is used by the husband. [9]

 

In conclusion, the item will have to be reviewed and the ruling will be according to the above.

 

  1. Shariah has not stipulated any specific amount of time period which needs to be observed in between having children.

 

  1. Contraception has been considered to be makruh (disliked) by some of the scholars, never the less it is permissible[10].

 

However, it should be noted here:

It is narrated by Ibn Muhairiz (may Allah be pleased with him): I entered the Mosque and saw Abu Sa`id Al-Khudri and sat beside him and asked him about Al-Azl (i.e. coitus interruptus). Abu Sa`id said, "We went out with Allah's Messenger () for the Ghazwa of Banu Al-Mustaliq and we received captives from among the Arab captives and we desired women and celibacy became hard on us and we loved to do coitus interruptus. So when we intended to do coitus interruptus, we said, 'How can we do coitus interruptus before asking Allah's Messenger () who is present among us?" We asked (him) about it and he said, 'It is better for you not to do so, for if any soul (till the Day of Resurrection) is predestined to exist, it will exist."[11]

 

Abu Sa'id al-Khudri (Allah be pleased with him) reported that Allah's Messenger () was asked about 'azl (coitus interruptus), whereupon he said:

 

The child does not come from all the liquid (semen) and when Allah intends to create anything nothing can prevent it (from coming into existence).[12]

 

In the conclusion of the above two Hadith, we learn that whether one adopts contraception or not, if Allah has decided a child for the couple there will be nothing to stop that child from being born.[13]

 

  1. During foreplay, there is no harm in the couple using sexually arousing language with the condition that the actual speech is not of a sinful nature. However talking during the actual sexual penetration, it is considered makruh(disliked) to talk excessively.[14]

 

  1. It is haram to engage in sexual intercourse in the following situations:
  1. Whilst the wife is in her monthly periods.
  2. During I’tikaf
  3. Whilst in Ihram
  4. Whilst fasting in the month of Ramadan

Other than the above-mentioned situations, it will be permissible to engage in sexual intercourse.

Imam Ibnul Qayyim Al-Jawziyyah has stated that the best time to engage in sex is after the food has digested. And sex should be avoided on an empty stomach and on a full stomach.[15]

 

 

Only Allah knows best

Written by Mufti Eunus Ali

Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah

Darul Ifta Birmingham

 

 

 

 


[1]Al-Fatawa Al-Hindiyyah, Volume 5, Page 404, DarulKutubulIlmiyyah

 

 

[2] Saheeh Bukhari:9

 

 

[3]Sunan Ibn Majah:1920

 

 

[4] Saheeh Bukhari: 288 and Saheeh Muslim: 305

 

 

[5]FathulMulhim, Volume 3, Page 89, Dar Ihya At-Turath Al-Arabiy

 

 

[6]Mariful Quran, Volume 4, Page 60

 

 

[7]The following is an excerpt from the book 'Islamic Guide to Sexual Relations', page 93, Huma Press

 

 

[8]TafseerulQurtubi, volume 6, page 416, Darul Hadith &Ma’ariful Quran, volume 6, page 298, IdaaratulMa’arif

 

 

[9]Islamic Guide to Sexual Relations', page 68, Huma Press

 

 

[10]MirqatulMafatih, Volume 6, Page 314, MaktabahRasheediyyah

 

 

[11] Saheeh Bukhari: 4138

 

 

[12] Saheeh Muslim: 1438

 

 

[13]MirqatulMafatih, Volume 6, Page 316, MaktabahRasheediyyah

 

 

[14]Islamic Guide to Sexual Relations', page 83, Huma Press

 

 

[15] The Prophetic Medicine, Page 338, DarulGhad Al-Jadeed

 

 

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