Fatwa ID: 03037
Answered by: Maulana Belaal Ahmed
Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah
In Islam is it absolutely necessary to listen to your parents?
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
Assalamualaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakaatuh
Islam is a gift and blessing from Allah (swt) and a complete way of life, it teaches us how to live our lives in a way which is pleasing to Allah (swt), and how to value the many blessings Allah (swt) has bestowed upon us. Allah (swt) has showered so many blessings upon us that if were to count them we could not do so, and there is no doubt from these blessings there are the parents. Parents are such a blessing that sometimes we forget their value, and sometimes only after them leaving this world will we realise that we can never have done enough to fulfil their rights.
We learn from the Quran and Hadith that our parents have great rights over us and pleasing them is pleasing Allah. In the light of Quraan and hadith many merits have been mentioned in regards to their status and value;
Allah swt mentions in the Quraan :
وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلاَّ تَعْبُدُواْ إِلاَّ إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الْكِبَرَ
أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلاَهُمَا فَلاَ تَقُل لَّهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلاَ تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلاً كَرِيمًا
"And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word."
( Surah Isra ayah 23)
Imam Qurtubi (r.a) mentions regarding this ayah that Allah (SWT) has mentioned alongside his worship the importance of showing respect and honour to ones parents, similarly in surah Luqman Allah mentions about showing gratitude to himself and towards the parents , so from the above Quran ayaat we learn that after worshipping Allah SWT and thanking Allah SWT one of the most important ibadaat is to show gratitude towards the parents rather it is wajib to show gratitude to them and obey them. (1)
We learn from the Hadith of Bukhari somebody came to the prophet (s.a.w) and asked "who is the most beloved to Allah (SWT)" the prophet s.a.w replied the one "who prays salaat at its fixed time" the person then asked "who next" the prophet replied "one who shows good conduct to his parents".
Another hadith in this regard: Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
“Should I not inform you about the gravest of the major sins?”
They replied, “Yes, O Messenger of Allah.” The Prophet said: “Associating anyone with Allah and being undutiful to parents". (Bukhari)
In conclusion, it is very important to obey the parents in all circumstances. However, if the parent orders us to do something against the commandments of Allah then one will not obey such orders as there is no following of creation before the creator.
Only Allah knows best
Written by Maulana Belaal Ahmed
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham