Mother refusing the father’s right to see and visit the child

Fatwa ID: 01958

Answered by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah

Question:

My question is if a couple has been separated for 11 months but not divorced are they still classed as husband and wife also they have a child together he is a boy age is 1 1/2 years the mother refuses to let him see the child and the father is so depressed and sad that he cant take the pain any longer he has done so much sabar what should he do 

Answer:

Bismillah

In the aforementioned scenario divorce will not occur. As long as the husband does not issue the divorce to his wife verbally or in writing, the couple will remain husband and wife.

It is mentioned in Durrul Mukhtar:

 “The main part (rukn) of divorce is the specific statement.” (Raddul Muhtar p.426 v.4)

It is the father’s right to see his child if the child is in the mother’s custody, and that he should not be prevented from visiting him. (Al Mughni p.193 v.8)

When Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) inflicts any hardships or calamity upon anyone, the purpose for this is to either test his true servants as Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) in the Holy Quran has said,

“Be sure we shall test you with something of fear, and hunger and some loss of wealth and lives and fruits and glad tidings to those that bear patience”.  (Suarh Baqarah v.156)

Sometimes it so happens for it to be a lesson for the people coming after not to commit that deed again as Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) states in the Holy Quran:

“And indeed before you we sent (Messengers) too many nations so we seized them with suffering and adversity so that they may fall into humility.”  (Surah Anaam v.42)

Or these tests can be a means of purification for the pious people.  The Prophet of Allah ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) has said when a persons sins increases and nothing remains to remove it then Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) inflicts this person with such sorrow which expiates his sins.  (Tafsir Ibn Kathir)

Saaiduna Anas raḍyAllāhu 'anhu (may Allāh be pleased with him) narrates that the Prophet of Allah ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said, “Whenever Allah intends to do good to a servant, He hastens to punish him in this world. And whenever Allah intends evil for a servant, He postpones the punishment until the Day of Judgement.” (Sunan Tirmizi p.65 v.2)

The meaning of this hadith is that he is punished by being inflicted with afflictions and difficulties due to the sins he has committed, due to which he is cleansed from them all, and in the Hereafter he has no sins to account for. (Duruus Tirmizi p.265 v.4)

Likewise, in another hadith the Prophet of Allah ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said, “Whenever Allah loves a people, He sends affliction upon them. So whoever is patient is one of the patient-ones, and whoever resents it, is one of those who resent.” (Musnad Ahmad p.427 v.5)

There are many virtues of Sabr.

  1. The Prophet of Allah ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said, “Sabr is light.” (Sahih Muslim p.118 v.1)  
  2. Saaiduna Abu Saeed Al Khudri raḍyAllāhu 'anhu (may Allāh be pleased with him) narrates that the Prophet of Allah ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said, “No one has been given anything more excellent and more comprehensive than sabr.” (Sahih Bukhari)
  3. Saaiduna Ali raḍyAllāhu 'anhu (may Allāh be pleased with him) said, “Indeed sabr is from Imaan (faith). Its position is like that of the head with respect to the rest of the body.” Then he raised his voice and said, “Verily, there is no Imaan (faith) for the one who has no sabr.” (Imam Baihaqi in his Shuabul Imaan)

There are two things required for patience. One is to be happy with Allah’s decree. Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) is “Hakeem” and whatever he decides there is good in that. Thus, we should do sabr on what Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) has decreed for us. The scholars have mentioned that sabr is of three kinds:

  1. Sabr whilst fulfillingthe orders of Allah.
  2. Sabr whilst (abandoning and keeping away) from the prohibitions of Allah.
  3. Sabr with the Decree of Allah with respect to afflictions and difficulties. (Maariful Qur’an p.401 v.1)

Only Allah Knows Best

Mohammed Tosir Miah

Darul Ifta Birmingham

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