My Daughter Hates Hijab, What Can I do?

Fatwa ID: 03369

Answered by: Alimah Sabrina al-Faarsiyyah

Question

Assalamu Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh,

My daughter has grown resentment towards wearing hijab. She is really depressed about wearing it and doesn't feel like leaving the house with her hijab on. She knows the punishment and has read the Hadith stating why hijab is fardh. She has voiced to me that she has been forced against her will. She is adamant that she does not wish to wear it at this age until she feels ready. She has worn it her whole life. I have told her she is not to take it off.

If she persists to disobey me am I allowed to discipline her in order to keep her wearing it. She is aware it is a fardh. What is permissible?

Am I allowed to force her to wear it against her will?

I am a respected man in the community, of course, I have fear of Allah but I also fear that she will bring shame by not wearing hijab.

 

 

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيْم

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful 

 

Answer

 

It will be beneficial for you to locate the root cause of the problem. What is making her dislike the hijab, does she have any confusions, is she being influenced/pressured by anyone or anything, are all important questions to be asked. It is important to instil the love of Allah Ta’ala and His religion such as salah, saum, hijab etc. from a young age before maturity, as it is not guaranteed that someone can change overnight when they reach maturity.

Knowing the Islamic ruling and Ahadith on not wearing the Hijab is not always enough for a young girl to embrace it at a time in her life when peer pressure, trends, styles and pop-culture are intense. Instead of telling her the ruling and punishments, and making her feel pressured, explain to her with kindness and wisdom why it has been prescribed, and what are the harms and benefits of wearing or not wearing the hijab. Remind her that the hijab is a whole concept that refers to how a Muslim woman should dress, speak and conduct herself.

It is very important to pay attention to what may be influencing her thoughts. Observe where she attends on a daily basis, what type of people she engages with, what she watches/reads, as these are things that heavily influence a person’s thoughts and opinions. I am not saying invade her privacy but merely observe closely. Public institutions, incorrect friend circles, movies, dramas, and harmful exposure to western ideologies and opinions are all harmful to a young Muslim girl who does not seem to have substantial knowledge about Islamic rulings and their wisdom.

Lastly, do not resort to beating her as this will push her away from you and will make her hate Islam. When she eventually grows older, she might leave the house and leave the religion altogether. May Allah protect, but this has happened many times. Rather, show displeasure if she takes it off. At the same time, try to win her heart by taking her out for ice cream or having dinner with her and spend that time in trying to encourage her to put the hijab back on. This will only have the right effects if you yourself have a good understanding of the wisdom, benefits, and rewards of wearing the hijab.

 

Only Allāh Ta’ālā knows best

Written by Alimah Sabrina al-Faarsiyyah

Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah

Dārul Iftā Birmingham

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