My wife wants to put my mother in a care home. What should i do?

Fatwa ID: 02686

Answered by: Moulana Tahsin Alam

Question:

AssalamuAlaikum,

I have just married a women, and I don't know why but she does not want to live with my mother, upon asking for reasons, she says that my mother interferes in her work a lot and my mother doesn't like her, and when I asked my mother about all this, she denied, and said she never said that she doesn't like her, brothers and sisters, my wife, even before marriage. 

our marriage is a love marriage, she used to ask me to live separately with her after marriage and she used to say that we can send her to a good hostel or old age home and we would bear all her financial expenses and would call her and would visit her but I always refused her and said that there is no one in this world except me for my mother, and she has given so many sacrifices for me, and after the demise of my father which occurred when I was not even born, she suffered from shock, and she is still not that much mentally stable.

but has never hurt anyone physically and I have seen her love for me, and my wife is aware of her condition from the beginning and my wife,  she has a western lifestyle mindset regarding marriage and family, even now my mother is happy in going to an old age home, just for my happiness, but my heart is not allowing me to do so, because she has done a lot for me, she is the only one who made me what I am today, and she has no father no brother , she is a widow and has no other child.

I’m the only child of her, and she has no one in this world except me, then I tried to threaten my wife with divorce, but she now she is threatening me that she will commit suicide because I have ruined her life, my all efforts have failed, I am in extreme pain, I cannot leave my mother because she no one in this world, but I cannot leave my wife as well, please guide me according to Islamic teachings, that what is best in this situation, and I will follow that according to Islam.

 

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيْم

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

 

Answer:

 

Your wife is entitled to a separate house or room (with separate facilities) which is completely isolated from other people within your family.[1]You are also obligated to serve your mother, especially in her old age. We ask that you consult your wife regarding appropriate living arrangements for her whilst still being able to care for your mother. It would be best to priorities your mother’s wellbeing first.

 

Only Allah Ta'ala knows best.

Written by Moulana Tahsin Alam

Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah

Darul Ifta Birmingham

 

 


[1] al-Marghinani, al-Hidayah, Fasl fi al-Nafaqah

 

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