Please help me. I have serached everywhere but the question i have has not been covered anywhere. Basically I did zina with the girl i want to marry, it has happened now 7-8 times which i am ashamed of. The problem is we repent everytime but always go back to it. We both feel bad about it but it happens again. This time we have both promised not to let it happen again until we are married. Feeling bad is repentance, but from what I have read am i really repenting for my sin? I have read nikah is not valid between the two fornicators until they have repented sincerely. The thing that is eating me up is: Am I repenting now because I have read that our nikah is not valid if we get married without repenting?Am I only thinking like this now because of what I have read? I think about this girl I will get married to all the time, I love her deeply but everytime i think of her i start thinking of what I have done and if i am really regretting what i did because it was wrong which it is or because im scared i will be living my married life with her sinfully becuase i have not really repented only repenting because of what i have read. The problem is I would probably keep doing zina with her if i knew i was not going to marry her, the only reason i have stopped is because i want our nikah to be valid? I have promised myself not to do it again with her, this time inshallah i mean it and will not go back to that dirty sin. So please tell me is my regret sincere or merely a way out because i want our nikah to be valid. I do feel bad about it, im always telling my friends not to do zina with girls etc but i am a hypocrite. I pray namaz all the time, but also do this hideous act which im ashamed of. One thing i do know is its eating me up and i have promised never to do it again until we are married. How can i make my repentance sincere? I mean i dont cry when i ask for forgiveness, am i only asking for forgiveness because i know i will marry this girl and im scared our nikah will not be valid? Am i really repenting or not? Another thing that bothers me is, in some questions i have read that people who repent after marriage have to perform nikah again. This is ok but what do they tell there guardians and what does the girl tell her wali? What do they say why they are performing nikah again? They cant tell them they commited zina hence the first nikah was not valid and now they are doing nikah again because they have since repented? Can the couple go to any imam with witnesses and without wali’s and guardains, people they do not no at all and get nikah done so all the people there dont know them so it is kept a secret? How can this be done without anyone finding out? Is there a way to perform tihs nikah again without telling family members the truth? May Allah bless you for all your hard work.
In the name of Allah, the most Beneficent, the most Merciful.
It should be borne in mind that adultery (zina) is one of the major sins in Islam. In the Holy Quran Allah (SWA) has said:
“And do not go near to zina. It is shamelessness and is an evil way.”
(Bani Israeel v.32)
Such a person will not only suffer punishment and calamity in this world, but also in the hereafter. Worst of all he/she invites the wrath of Allah upon himself.
Those Ahadeeth which condemn adultery and fornication are as follows:
“The Prophet of Allah (SAW) said, there is no sin which is more severe in the eyes of Allah (SWA) after committing shirk than a person planting his semen into a womb, which is unlawful.” (Kanzul Ummal)
The Prophet of Allah (SAW) said, “Allah’s anger becomes intense upon the fornicators.” (Kanzul Ummal)
Therefore, one should abstain from such actions, which will invite the wrath of Allah (SWA) and repent for one’s actions.
In regards to your question the scholars have written if the sin committed is related to Allah (SWA), like zina then there are 3 conditions for the repentance of the sinner to be accepted.
1. He refrains from committing the same sin again.
2. He feels ashamed at what he has done.
3. He makes a firm intention of not committing that sin again.
In regards to your question, it is not a condition for repentance to be accepted that the doer does not fall into the same sin again. If a person repents for his sins with the aforementioned conditions his repentance will be accepted. If he falls into it again, then this will be considered a new sin altogether requiring a new repentance.
From the question, it seems that you do have remorse and guilt over your actions and Inshallah, Allah (SWA) will accept your repentance.
Those men and women who repent and beg Allah’s (SWA) mercy, their marriage will be correct. If one happens to get married to a fornicator and then they repent afterwards, it will not be necessary to repeat the marriage again.
Only Allah Knows Best.
Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham.