What should a husband do if he hears rumours about his wife being unfaithful to him

CategoriesMarriage [574]

Fatwa ID: 01703

Answered by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah

Question:

Dear Brother! I committed zina while I was virgin and the lady was married with a child and her husband was away in army. We both felt we have committed a big sin and also in love of each other she left her baby and house and came along with me. Her husband after knowing this divorced her, she went into idat and after her idat I married her in a such a way my family barred me and I just had two friends to be my witnesses. Her family also abandoned her except her mother which was present at the time of nikah. Later after nikah we went back to my family house and my father told me to go away permanently. I started my own life with grave problems and we were blessed by Allah with a child. Things kept going and now its been 10 years and we have three children. For a while ago one of my neighbour’s wife have been fighting with my wife that my wife has relations with her son. I was away from my home for a couple of months. It has been going on for three years. I had to change my house but still I am getting emails from unknown persons, calls that my wife is having extra marital affairs with these people and I should divorce my wife for them to get together. My wife has kept on saying that ALLAH will make her righteous in front of every one but the facts which have been brought to my attention by these people I know and I dont know are against her. I am such a person that I believe what I did with another man can come around, but we both have done our tauba and I always pray forgiveness for my deeds. I haven’t committed any other grave sin after the one I did ten years back. Whom should believe. I dont want to lose her as I want her to raise my children and especially when she is nursing the little one. Every thing is shady and I cannot go home for some more time as I am here in uk and she is back home. Whom should I trust. I have done istikhara but I cannot be so sure what to do. Last time I did istikhara my heart went in her way and stood by her. What should I do now? Will it be OK if she is a sinner and I put the rest of my life as the way it is. My spiritual attachment to her is so much I cannot think of anything else but her behaviour with me when I had nothing and she supported me with every way and encouraged me for good and now when I am in good shape financially I leave her. It is not in my blood? Please help me out by the way of ALLAH's Messenger (PBUH)?

 Answer:

Bismillah

Before we look at your question I would first like to clarify that the crime of adultery and fornication can be established through three ways.

  1. Four male witnesses.  The four men have to be reliable and pious and they have to explain the meaning of zina to the Imam or to the Qadhi as different individuals have different thoughts as to what constitutes zina.  For example. Some people may consider a man and woman hugging to be zina.  The Imam or the Qadhi will have to ask questions such as ‘when did you see them’ and ‘how did you see them’ etc.  The witnesses will also have to testify that they actually saw the male private part entering into the woman’s vagina.   (Mukthsarul Quduuri p.187)

Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) in the Holy Quran has said:

‘And those of your women who commit the shameful act, then have four witnesses from among you….’   (Surah Nisa v.15)

This strict approach is taken so that the husband of the woman will not level undue accusations against her out of personal spite as testimony to zina by less than four individuals will be invalid and they will instead face the punishment of Qadhf i.e. false accusation which consists of 80 whips.   (Maariful Qur’an p.357 v.2)

  1. The adulterer or fornicator makes four separate confessions.  At each confession the Imam or the Qadhi should turn him away and explain to him that he may have made a mistake.  However, on the fourth occasion the Imam will ask him about zina, its meaning and when the act was committed so that a case can be established.

Imam Bukhari raḥimahullāh (may Allāh have mercy upon him) narrates a hadith on the authority of Saaiduna Abu Hurairah  raḍyAllāhu 'anhu (may Allāh be pleased with him) that a man came to the Prophet of Allah ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) four separate times confessing the crime of zina. (Sahih Bukhari p.1008 v.2)

  1. If a woman who is not married falls pregnant.

Regarding your situation, unless your wife has confessed or four witnesses have clearly seen your wife committing adultery and what I mean by clearly is that they have seen the actual inserting of the mans private part into the woman’s private part, it is wrong for you to assume or accuse her of adultery.

Furthermore, we have been advised by the Prophet of Allah ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) to abstain from hearsay, gossips and rumours.

Imam As-shabi raḥimahullāh (may Allāh have mercy upon him) narrates that Muawiya wrote to Al Mughira bin Shuba: Write to me something, which you have heard from the Prophet of Allah ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him).  So Mughira wrote:  I heard the Prophet of Allah ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) saying, “Allah has hated for you vain talks, wasting of wealth and asking too many questions.”   (Sahih Bukhari p.958 v.2)

It may be good to speak to your wife regarding these allegations and Insha Allah take it from there.

Only Allah Knows Best

Mohammed Tosir Miah

Darul Ifta Birmingham

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