Why am I having so much difficulty even when I try to be righteous?

Fatwa ID: 02801

Answered by: Aalimah Nasima Umm Hamza

Question:

Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah

I have a question regarding faith in Allah and losing hope, faith and respect for Him.

I started practising Islam seven years ago and I have learnt a lot of things about Allah and Islam since then. I have done and given up a lot of things for the sake of Allah in order to worship Him properly and earn His pleasure. But I now feel helpless as in I have no one to rely on. Not even Allah.

This is because I have faith, belief and trust in all what He and His Prophet say. But the problem is everything seems to prove to me that all that they have said is a big lie. I have my reasons for this. They are:

1. I heard and believe that the shayateen are chained and become inactive during Ramadan but most of my jinn possession episodes happened in Ramadan notably the last ten days.

2. I read suratul waqiah every night as I have no job so I depend on my parents for money and I believe in the hadith that says whoever recites suratul waqiah every night will never encounter poverty but I have more financial difficulties after reading it every night.

3. I believe in the various sayings of the Prophet regarding many cures like cupping (hijama),  black seed (habbatussauda),  honey,  Qust Al Hindi etc but I get sicker every time I add them to my healthcare routine.

4. I heard and believe that spiritual practices like Salat and istighfaar protect us from falling into sins but this doesn't seem to work for me.

5. I am a strong believer in the power of zam zam water as a cure and as a means of getting what we want from Allah because of the various ahadith and stories that I heard about it. I have drank it countless times with different intentions and duas but I have seen no results. It doesn't seem to work.

6. I came to know of the virtues of istighfaar from the Qur'an, hadith and many try stories so I made it a daily habit to make lots of istighfaar every day or just keep it to a minimum of twenty times a day with five times sayyidul istighfaar inclusive. I have been doing this for a long time. Istighfaar is supposed to open many doors for me but what I have gotten so far is the complete opposite of what has been promised so far. For example, men withdrawing their marriage proposals to me.

There are many other reasons.  Why are all these happening to me?  Know that I am doing all these with full faith in the words of Allah and His Prophet and trusting them. I am not doing them to merely 'test' it and see whether it will work or not. I do all with firm belief that it will work for me and even sharing it with others and encouraging them to do it also.

I know of the hadith which says that a believer is tested according to the level of his/her faith.  So is this a test for me?  But this won't make sense as Allah is supposed to be 'a Lord of His Words' that is one who fulfils his promises as he has already said 'Innallaha la yukhliful mee'aad'.  So Allah is not supposed to be testing me this way as this goes against his promise. Maybe He wants to misguide me.  I will rather not believe that to be tested in this manner (if this were really a test).

I feel alone and helpless now as I feel I can't trust and rely on Allah anymore and none is worthy of being trusted and relied on but He. So I am contemplating suicide as I don't want to continue living this way even though it is Haram as I have no real thing but Allah and Islam

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيْم

Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah

I’m sorry to hear that you are feeling these doubts and questioning of your faith. Please know that you are not alone in your times of difficulty. Allah Ta’ala hears everything and sees everything and He knows that you are in troubling times. Know that Allah Ta’ala does not burden a soul more than it can bare, even though it may seem to us that we can not bare it.

 

Dear sister, know that those who have claimed to have faith will certainly be tested on what they proclaim with their tongues and that those who came before us also felt pained by the difficulties and trial of life, until they even called out wondering when Allah Ta’ala would give them relief and His Divine help.

 

أَمْ حَسِبْتُمْ أَن تَدْخُلُوا الْجَنَّةَ وَلَمَّا يَأْتِكُم مَّثَلُ الَّذِينَ خَلَوْا مِن قَبْلِكُم ۖ مَّسَّتْهُمُ الْبَأْسَاءُ وَالضَّرَّاءُ وَزُلْزِلُوا حَتَّىٰ يَقُولَ الرَّسُولُ وَالَّذِينَ آمَنُوا مَعَهُ مَتَىٰ نَصْرُ اللَّهِ ۗ أَلَا إِنَّ نَصْرَ اللَّهِ قَرِيبٌ
 

“Or do you think that you will enter Paradise while such [trial] has not yet come to you as came to those who passed on before you? They were touched by poverty and hardship and were shaken until [even their] messenger and those who believed with him said, “When is the help of Allah?” Unquestionably, the help of Allah is near.” [Surah al-Baqarah, Verse 214]

 

You are facing difficulties in your life and this is leading you to have doubts in your faith. But you must know that there is no power nor might except the power of Allah Ta’ala. If He keeps away that which we desire from the Dunya, then it is due to His divine wisdom. He alone knows what is good for us and what is bad for us. Allah Ta’ala is all knowing and All-Powerful.

 

It appears as though you are finding some contradictions in this, due to the experiences that you are having, but please be assured that there are no contradictions in Allah Ta’ala’s Shariah and His Guidance which has been given to us. Any confusion and contradictions we find in Islam is purely due to our own lack of knowledge and understanding.

 

It is imperative to gain and act upon correct and authenticated knowledge, so we know which hadiths can be correctly  attributed to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and which can’t be, what is the meaning and context of the ayaat and hadith and so forth. We need to understand what is correct belief and what is not and what are Allah Ta’ala’s names and attributes and what are the things in His Divine control and what things are from our own free will.

 

If we do not have this correct knowledge, then surely doubts and misgivings will enter our heads taunted and stirred by the whispers of Shaytaan.

 

Just to show you where some things have been misunderstood or misinterpreted in your questions.

 

1- The authentic hadith states that the shayateen are chained up, meaning that any sin we do in that month is purely by our own nafs and desires and has had no influence by the shaytaan. The shaytaan and the jinn are not the same thing.

The jinn is just like us humans in the sense that they can either obey and worship Allah Ta’ala or disobey Allah Ta’ala. So it is still possible that you could have some form of experience of the jinn. Even though the jinn have some powers, the reality is that they are not so powerful to take complete control over us. I would highly advise that you see a reputable raaqi in your vicinity who can assist you.

 

2- Although there is much virtue in reciting surah al-Waqi’ah, the evidence related to the virtues are deemed to be weak or fabricated accordingly to the hadith scholars. I would still encourage you to read this surah and reap the rewards in the Hereafter. Regardless of this, we must understand that our Rizq lies in Allah Ta’ala’s hands and it has been fixed. Sometimes our rizq is earned by our own effort and other times our rizq comes through other sources and other blessings in our lives. Your parents currently your source of rizq Alhamdulillah.

 

3- There are many hadiths that have been narrated about the benefits in different things and cures of different things. It is essential that we know that these recommendations come with their own criteria and conditions which we may not be aware of.

Furthermore, the cures do not lie in the treatment itself, rather the cure lies with Allah Ta’ala alone, and that He is the only one who can heal and cure us. These medicines are only a means of seeking Allah Ta’ala’s cure, while knowing Allah Ta’ala is the the one who cures and Allah Ta’ala cures whom he wills and when He wills. We must have faith in Allah Ta’ala that he is capable of shifa, but it is according to His Divine Will and Wisdom, and not according to our will.

 

4. Salah and istighfaar are forms of dhikr. It is by the dhikr of Allah Ta’ala i.e. the reminder of Allah Ta’ala which acts as a reminder to worship and obey Allah (swt), and to stay away from sin.

 

If we are still committing sins while performing these ibadah, then we must know that the sins are committed by our own faults and weaknesses and our own free will. We must ask Allah Ta’ala to guide us to His worship, but we must also focus on changing our thinking, purifying our souls, and changing our habits and actions which lead to sins. Dhikr is but a reminder to Allah Ta’ala, which should keep you away for sin, it does not take away free will to commit sin. Only a heart filled with fear of Allah Ta’ala’s punishment will stay away from sin.

 

5- see point 3.

Allah Ta’ala cures as He wants and when He wants. He is capable over everything and we are capable over nothing. Although we seek the means, we seek it with full trust and hope in Allah Ta’ala, not in the medicine we took. If He did not cure us immediately then that is His Divine will for us and He alone knows best.

 

6- The doors of istighfaar are many and there are many blessings and rewards which will come to us as a result. But, these blessings and rewards cannot always be comprehended by us or come in the things we wish for them to come in. Rest assured, even if we did not know how the blessings manifested in the dunya, we can be certain that they are building great rewards awaiting us in the Hereafter.

 

Yaqeen in Allah Ta’ala leads to Yaqeen in His rewards and Promises. Everything else is part of our weaknesses and lack of understanding as human beings who have not been given the facilities or divine wisdom over everything. Submitting to Islam means submitting to Allah Ta’ala’s will for us. So, if Allah Ta’ala tests us a certain way, we accept it with patience while exerting our every effort to ride the tests while still obeying Allah Ta’ala’s commands and prohibitions and worshipping Him alone. Allah Ta’ala knows us better than we know ourselves and tests us accordingly. We cannot expect certain tests to come our way and not others. We do not know in which test our reward lies. We only know that if we are patient in all our tests we will be rewarded accordingly, and this is the Promise of Allah Ta’ala.

 

Dear sister, please look to the blessings which you have been given in your life, rather than looking to the things you haven’t been given and praise and glorify Allah Ta’ala for them. Turn your hopes and desires to the akhirah and what greatness awaits you beyond your imagination if you can continue to obey and worship Him in your happiness and in your sadness.

 

I would highly recommend that you deepen your knowledge of Islam and you will find that many of your questions will be answered inshaAllah.

 

Only Allah Ta’ala knows best

 

Answered by Aalimah Nasima Umm Hamza

Checked and approved by Ustadha Sabrina al-Faarsiyyah

Darul Ifta Birmingham

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