Wife Applying for a Civil Divorce After Years of Emotional Abuse

CategoriesDivorce [570]

Fatwa ID: 04524

Answered by: Maulana Imran Mughal




I separated from my husband in 2015 due to emotional abuse. He wouldn't give me any money and would always argue over the children’s benefits I was getting (that was what my two children and I would live on.) On top of that, I had to pay him £40 every week towards the bills. He would swear to my mum and discuss our personal issues with the community and would threaten to get me killed if I went to Pakistan. He kicked me and the children out and we had to live in a shelter home. I had to take him to court to go back into the house but when I went back I found an empty and destroyed house so I had to sell my mahr and replace the necessary household items.


He said that he will not give me talaq because he wants me to apply for a khula so he can ask for the mahr back. I have got a civil divorce. He had taken £6000 from my savings without asking me so I don’t think he is entitled to the mahr and on top of that, I don’t have any money to pay him back so in this situation can you please advise me on what to do.


Salam, I have sent an email earlier on today's subject khula and mahr. I also want to inform you that I had applied for the civil divorce due to unacceptable behavior, when he received the petition he signed it and did not defend it however on the form he wrote: "I disagree with the allegations but do not wish to defend the divorce." Then, before receiving the decree absolute, he appealed to the court asking for the decree absolute to be made as he is seeing another woman and wants to marry her so does this end our nikah or do I still need to apply for a khula and if my nikah is ended when do I start my iddah from? I received my decree absolute on the 4th of September. Thank you



بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيْم 

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.





Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakaatuh,

It is unfortunate to hear about your situation. What your husband has done with you and your children is extremely wrong in the eyes of Allah Ta’ala. May Allah guide us all to the Straight Path.


As long as he has signed the divorce papers, this will be counted as a divorce, even if he disagrees with it. You mentioned that he took £6000 as well. Therefore, he is not entitled to any of your money if he has divorced you. Only through the means of Khula may you both agree on a price to pay.


You also mentioned that you don’t have money to pay him back. What money is he asking for? He has already taken money from you illegitimately and he wants more. The best thing to do when addressed with this type of situation is to have a civil discussion with the family members of both yourself and your husband, and have an arbitrator/arbitrators deal with your issue to make sure no one is oppressed.


I am not sure what your statement “then before receiving the decree absolute he appealed to the court asking for the decree absolute to be made” means.


Your nikah with your husband is terminated when both of you signed the divorce papers, and therefore your iddah will start from the day on which the divorce papers were signed.[1] Your iddah will be for 3 menstrual cycles.[2]



Only Allah knows best

Written by Maulana Imran Mughal

Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah

Darul Ifta Birmingham



[1]Kasani, Badai’ As-Sanai’ (Beirut: DKI, 2003), Vol 4 Pg 415.

[2]Marghaynani, Al-Hidaya (Karachi: Maktabatul Bushra, 2014), Vol 3 Pg. 281.



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