Fatwa ID: 09002
Answered by Maulana Abdurrahman Persaud
Question:
Assalamu Alaikum, respected,
I hope you are well. I am writing to seek guidance regarding a very serious matter related to divorce (talaq). I am extremely distressed and regretful, and I want to explain my situation clearly.
On three different occasions, I said the words of talaq to my wife during moments of extreme anger and emotional instability. In all three situations, I was not in control of myself, I had no intention whatsoever of divorcing her, and I only said the words because my wife kept repeatedly demanding divorce from me.
Here are the circumstances:
First occasion:
My wife kept insisting that I divorce her, and the argument became extremely heated. My wife become so overwhelmed that she was repeatedly in anger and frustration and kept knife on her hand to divorce her. I was not stable at that moment. Eventually, under pressure, I said the words of divorce, but I did not mean them at all. And started crying to ask Allah forgiveness.
Second occasion:
My wife refused to come home and kept telling me on the phone to divorce her, saying she would only return if I did so. Out of fear and pressure, I verbally said “I divorce you,” but again, I did not intend to end the marriage.
Third occasion (recent):
We were at a relative’s home when a small argument escalated. My wife cried and repeatedly said I don’t respect her and again demanded divorce for about two hours. After the relatives left, she continued recalling past issues. I became extremely angry, broke my phone, and began hitting my head out of frustration. I even went to her feet asking for forgiveness. She slapped me, and in that moment of emotional breakdown and loss of control, I said “talaq” three times. Immediately afterwards, I started crying and told her, “What have you made me do? I never wanted to divorce you.” I had — and still have — no intention at all to end our marriage.
Alhamdulillah, we live happily together and love each other. We do not have ongoing issues except during these emotional moments. For context, my wife has a medical condition which affects her emotional control, especially anger, and she often asks for divorce during intense emotional episodes without meaning it.
My question is:
Given that I was in extreme anger, emotional instability, self‑harm, and pressure each time — and had absolutely no intention of talaq — what is the ruling on these statements of divorce? Does any of these talaqs count?
I sincerely regret what happened and seek proper Islamic guidance.
JazakAllahu khayran for your time and help.
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer:
May Allah ﷻ make your affairs in this world and the next easy.
Following the above case, three divorces would have been issued by the last statement.
Despite not having an intention, the divorce still falls and anger in such a state where a person is still conscious of his words and surroundings has no weight on the divorce, i.e. it still falls.
Also, when a person issues a divorce out of force or compulsion, then it occurs in the Hanafi school of taught.
Imam al-Mawsili (Allah have mercy on him) states:
“The divorce issued by a person who is forced (mukrah) is effective….because he intended the divorce but did not want it to occur, thus he is similar to the one who pronounced the divorce in jest.” (al-Ikhtiyar li ta’lil al-Mukhtar, 2/154)
Abu Hurayra (Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: “There are three things which, whether taken seriously or in jest, are treated as serious (and the effect of them occur in all circumstances): Marriage, divorce and taking one’s wife back (raj’a).” (Sunan Abu Dawud, no. 2188, Sunan Tirmidhi, no. 1184 & Sunan Ibn Majah, no. 2039)
Shaykh Zafar Ahmad al-Usmani (Allah have mercy on him) states in his exceptional work, I’la al-Sunan:
“In this (the above) Hadith, there is signification that the divorced pronounced by an individual in jest is valid, thus it implies that divorce will occur in every situation where the one pronouncing the divorce has a free will in speech (m: as opposed to someone who was overcome by sleep, insanity, etc where he has no will and no choice in his action), even though if he does not intend the outcome. Hence, an individual forced to pronounce a divorce is like the above, in that he utters the divorce with his free will but does not intend the outcome, as the one divorcing in jest does the same.” (I’la al-Sunan, 11/176-177).
We hope this answers the question.
Only Allah ﷻ knows best.
Written by Maulana Abdurrahman Persaud
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
References:
مَطْلَبٌ فِي طَلَاقِ الْمَدْهُوشِ وَقَالَ فِي الْخَيْرِيَّةِ: غَلِطَ مَنْ فَسَّرَهُ هُنَا بِالتَّحَيُّرِ، إذْ لَا يَلْزَمُ مِنْ التَّحَيُّرِ وَهُوَ التَّرَدُّدُ فِي الْأَمْرِ ذَهَابُ الْعَقْلِ. وَسُئِلَ نَظْمًا فِيمَنْ طَلَّقَ زَوْجَتَهُ ثَلَاثًا فِي مَجْلِسِ الْقَاضِي وَهُوَ مُغْتَاظٌ مَدْهُوشٌ، أَجَابَ نَظْمًا أَيْضًا بِأَنَّ الدَّهْشَ مِنْ أَقْسَامِ الْجُنُونِ فَلَا يَقَعُ، وَإِذَا كَانَ يَعْتَادُهُ بِأَنْ عُرِفَ مِنْهُ الدَّهَشُ مَرَّةً يُصَدَّقُ بِلَا بُرْهَانٍ. اهـ. قُلْت: وَلِلْحَافِظِ ابْنِ الْقَيِّمِ الْحَنْبَلِيِّ رِسَالَةٌ فِي طَلَاقِ الْغَضْبَانِ قَالَ فِيهَا: إنَّهُ عَلَى ثَلَاثَةِ أَقْسَامٍ: أَحَدُهَا أَنْ يَحْصُلَ لَهُ مَبَادِئُ الْغَضَبِ بِحَيْثُ لَا يَتَغَيَّرُ عَقْلُهُ وَيَعْلَمُ مَا يَقُولُ وَيَقْصِدُهُ، وَهَذَا لَا إشْكَالَ فِيهِ. وَالثَّانِي أَنْ يَبْلُغَ النِّهَايَةَ فَلَا يَعْلَمُ مَا يَقُولُ وَلَا يُرِيدُهُ، فَهَذَا لَا رَيْبَ أَنَّهُ لَا يَنْفُذُ شَيْءٌ مِنْ أَقْوَالِهِ.
ص244 – كتاب حاشية ابن عابدين رد المحتار ط الحلبي – مطلب في تعريف السكران وحكمه – المكتبة الشاملة
الرابط:https://shamela.ws/book/21613/1526#p4
عن أبي هريرة أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال:”ثلاث جِدُّهُنَّ جِدٌّ،وهَزْلُهُنَّ جِدٌّ:النكاح، والطلاق، والرَّجْعَةُ”
رواه أبو داود والترمذي وابن ماجه