Fatwa ID: 04568
Answered by: Mufti Eunus Ali
Are we allowed to use Muslim matrimonial websites to find a spouse?
If so, what are the guidelines, please?
JazakAllah Allah Khair
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Matrimonial websites commonly consist of profiles of members who are seeking a spouse. Due to some elements involved, it may be considered unsuitable or even Haram.
Some of these are listed below:
- Profile Display Picture
It is narrated by Buraydahibn al-Hasib (May Allah be pleased with him): The Prophet () said to Ali: Do not give a second look, Ali, (because) while you are not to blame for the first, you have no right to the second. (Sunan Abi Dawood:2149)
It is not permissible to view or look at the opposite gender without a valid and genuine reason. (Mirqat Al-Mafatih, Volume 6, Page 252, Maktabah Rasheediyyah)
Therefore it will not be permissible for men and women to share pictures or to display them for one and all to view for browsing purposes.
- Personal Description
Narrated by `Abdullah bin Mas`ud (May Allah be pleased with him): The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "A woman should not look at or touch another woman to describe her to her husband in such a way as if he was actually looking at her." (Saheeh Bukhari: 5240)
One of the lessons taught in this Hadith is that it is not permissible to provide such intimate description that it is as if though others are actually looking at the person or that it leads to fantasizing about the person. (Al-Kawtharul Jari Ilaa Riyadhi Ahadithil Bukhari by Imam Ahmed Bin Ismail Al-Hanafi, Volume 8, Page 539, Daru Ihyaait Turath Al-Arabiy & Marriage- A complete solution, Page 21, JKN Publications)
Hence, it will not be permissible to upload such a description of oneself.
- Contact with the opposite gender
Umar (May Allah be pleased with him) has narrated that the Prophet (peace be upon Him) has stated: A man is not alone with a woman but the third of them is Ash-Shaitan.
When an unmarried man and woman are in any form of contact Shaitan will be present, trying to entice them to indulge in sin. (Mirqat Al-Mafatih, Volume 6, Page 261, Maktabah Rasheediyyah)
The arrangement of these websites is to browse through profiles until a potential spouse is found. After identifying a potential match, one would directly contact the person through email or messaging and take it forward from there. With the presence of Shaitan, there is a possibility of this leading to haram acts being committed. Therefore the interaction between the two will not be permissible. (Ask a Mufti, Volume 2, Page 227, JKN Publications)
In regards to your question, if the above points are not present or can be removed and replaced with shariah approved method it will be permissible to use the website.
Guidelines that need to be followed are:
- The boy to see the girl only at the time of the proposal after taking permission from her parents and not by sending pictures to each other privately.(Marriage- A complete solution, Page 21, JKN Publications)
- To only upload the essential detail that will not contradict the teaching of the Hadith mentioned above.
- To have the wali (guardian) involved from the first step and all communication to go through them. (Marriage- A complete solution, Page 36, JKN Publications)
Only Allah knows best
Written by Mufti Eunus Ali
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham