Fatwa ID: 04028
Answered by: Alimah Nasima Umm Hamza
1. Is attending the funeral of non-Muslims friends, colleagues such as Christians and others kufr?
2. What about Christmas or Easter lunches and dinners which are given at work? Can we attend with the intention of being polite and nice to give them a good image of Muslims and not to honor or respect their dinner or lunch?
3. Kids usually pick chocolate eggs on Easter from shops cause they are on display etc? Can parents get with the intention of giving to kids to just eat chocolates and nothing else?
4. Due to living in a non-Muslim country, there is lots of exposure to Christians and they usually are wishing their Christmas at work or at some other places? Can we just reply as thank you- just to being nice to them to place a good image of Muslims on them and not being arrogant? What should be the response to their wishes? If we reply, will that be kufr?
5. Saying or writing God bless her/him or RIP to non-Muslim deceased kufr? What words should be used if not God Bless or RIP?
I told my husband not to attend funerals of Christians and he got furious that he doesn't participate in what they do and only pays respect. I said they are disbelievers and he got furious and said don't call them Kaafir, they are people of the book. He said he is not comfortable calling his friends Kaafir. He said a person calls Kaafir to others becomes a Kaafir. He was so angry for me to tell him about not attending funerals. He said he saw Muslims attending funerals. Does anything he said is kufr? Now, what should I do in this situation as he holds these strong thoughts and got furious over them? I and my husband had been attending a christening, Christian weddings and birthdays, etc as he has lots of Christian friends and he was born and brought up in a non-Muslim country. If he committed kufr then if I think of renewing nikah, and ask him to do renewing Imaan, but still he will hold those views about his Christian friends that they are not disbelievers, etc.
Does he get out of the fold of Islam if he believes these things? What should I do as a wife now?
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
It is permitted for a Muslim to attend the funeral of a non-Muslim, as long as they stay away from their religious ceremonies. This is because Ali (ra) was permitted to bury his father Abu Talib by the Prophet (pbuh). (Bahr ur-Ra’iq, vol.2 page 205)
However, taking part in any of their religious celebrations such as Christmas, Easter, etc would not be permissible. If you buy Easter eggs after Easter purely with the intention of eating it then that would be permitted.
(إنْ أَرَادَ تَعْظِيمَهُ كَفَرَ وَإِنْ أَرَادَ الْأَكْلَ كَالشُّرْبِ وَالتَّنْعِيمِ لَا يَكْفُرُ زَيْلَعِ Raddul Muhtaar p.754-755)
We should always show good manners and etiquette to non-Muslims, as this a form of keeping good ties with our colleagues, neighbors, and relative.
However, as some non-Muslims may have not received the message of Islam, or not been called to Islam correctly, in that case, Allah (swt) will judge them based on their circumstances. It is a duty upon your husband to call his non-Muslim friends to Islam and show them the true message of Islam.
Finally, you should know that doing a sinful act does not make somebody become a kaafir. So anyone who commits a sin, must do tawbah to Allah (swt) and determine to stay away from that sin if he truly wants Allah (swt)’s mercy.
Only Allah Ta'ala knows best.
Written by Alimah Nasima Umm Hamza
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham