Fatwa ID: 09119
Answered by Muftiyah Humairah Badshah
Question:
Assalamu ʿalaykum wa raḥmatullāhi wa barakātuh,
I am seeking personal guidance from an Islamic perspective regarding my situation and future marriage. Before asking my question, I would like to briefly explain my circumstances as clearly and respectfully as possible.
I do not have a relationship with my father due to long-standing emotional abuse and other issues during my upbringing. Although we live in the same household, we have not interacted for approximately seven years. This distance has brought more peace and emotional stability, the silence is more respectful and I have accepted this situation.
He is biologically my father, but I do not view him as a role model for what a man, husband, or father should be. Recently, he married a second wife. While I understand that this is Islamically permissible, and I expected it emotionally, this event has deeply affected me in relation to my own future marriage.
The issue that troubles me is the matter of the wali. Islamically, I understand that my father would normally be my wali in marriage. However, due to the complete lack of relationship, the emotional harm, and my feelings of shame and discomfort, expecially with him having a second wife, since this is something i cant agree with or be proud of, I cannot imagine involving him in such an important and sensitive process. The idea of sitting with him during the nikah feels extremely uncomfortable and emotionally distressing, especially since we do not speak at all, i struggle being associated with him since this and expecially beacouse of this.
At the same time, I sincerely want my future marriage to be conducted in a correct and Islamically valid way.
My brothers are the men I trust, respect, and feel safe with. They are the ones I would turn to if anything were to go wrong in my life, and they are the male figures I am proud to be associated with.
My question is:
Would it be Islamically permissible for one of my brothers to act as my wali in this situation, given the circumstances with my father?
I would greatly appreciate your advice and guidance on how to proceed in a way that is pleasing to Allah and also protects my emotional and mental well-being.
Jazakum Allahu khayran for your time and understanding.
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer:
If your father refuses to act as a wali, your paternal grandfather will become your wali, and after him your brothers will become your wali. A qualified Muslim judge may also deem your father unfit and act as your wali. Your father can also give permission to your brothers if they act as your wali. You may marry yourself off without any wali if your groom is Islamically compatible (kufu’) with you.
If a father refuses to act as a wali for his daughter in marriage (or speak to his daughter at all), then it is agreed that guardianship transfers to the next closest relative.[1] This would be her paternal grandfather.[2] If he is also not a possibility, then the guardianship would go to the paternal great-grandfather (and so on in direct paternal ancestry), and then to the full brothers.[2] The full brothers are equal in this regard, and so any of them can act as a wali.
If a father refuses to act or is deemed immoral by a qualified Muslim judge, it can also become permissible for a qualified Muslim judge to act as a woman’s wali.[3] This can occur in the case where a father is abusive and neglectful, and so you and your brothers should consult a qualified Muslim scholar with the details of your situation in order for an evaluation to be issued.
Note that even if the father is present and deemed to be a woman’s primary wali, it is permissible for her non-primary guardians to act as her wali in marriage contingent on her primary wali’s approval.[4] Therefore, you may wish for your brothers to speak privately with your father in order to gain his approval for their acting as your wali.
Also keep in mind that according to the Hanafi madhhab, while having a wali is certainly highly recommended, a nikah without the permission of a woman’s wali is valid if the groom is Islamically compatible (kufu’) with her.[5] Islamic compatibility is a complex issue which includes the consideration of religiosity, ability to pay dowry and maintenance, profession, and the Islamic ancestry.[5] Due to the number of factors under consideration, it would be best to provide the full details to a qualified Islamic scholar to determine whether the potential groom is Islamically compatible with the lady in question if this becomes a necessary consideration.
Only Allah ﷻ knows best.
Written by Muftiyah Humairah Badshah
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
References:
[1]
وأجمعوا أن الأقرب إذا عضل تنتقل الولاية إلى الأبعد
Al-Fataawa Al-Hindiyyah (Daar Al-Fikr, https://shamela.ws) v.1 p.285
[2]
وأقرب الأولياء إلى المرأة الابن ثم ابن الابن، وإن سفل ثم الأب ثم الجد أبو الأب، وإن علا، كذا في المحيط. فإذا كان للمجنونة أب وابن أو جد وابن؛ فالولاية للابن عندهما وعند محمد – رحمه الله تعالى – للأب، كذا في السراج الوهاج.
والأفضل أن يأمر الأب الابن بالنكاح حتى يجوز بلا خلاف، كذا في شرح الطحاوي. ثم الأخ لأب وأم
Al-Fataawa Al-Hindiyyah (Daar Al-Fikr, https://shamela.ws) v.1 p.283
وإذا اجتمع للصغير والصغيرة وليان مستويان كالأخوين والعمين فأيهما زوج جاز عندنا، كذا في فتاوى قاضي خان. سواء أجاز الآخر أو فسخ
Al-Fataawa Al-Hindiyyah (Daar Al-Fikr, https://shamela.ws) v.1 p.284
[3]
وَأَجْمَعُوا أَنَّ الْأَقْرَبَ إذَا عَضَلَ تَنْتَقِلُ الْوِلَايَةُ إلَى الْأَبْعَدِ، كَذَا فِي الْخُلَاصَةِ. غَابَ الْوَلِيُّ أَوْ عَضَلَ أَوْ كَانَ الْأَبُ أَوْ الْجَدُّ فَاسِقًا فَلِلْقَاضِي أَنْ يُزَوِّجَهَا مِنْ كُفْءٍ، كَذَا فِي الْوَجِيزِ لِلْكَرْدَرِيِّ
Al-Fataawa Al-Hindiyyah (Daar Al-Fikr, https://shamela.ws) v.1 p.285
[4]
وَإِنْ زَوَّجَ الصَّغِيرَ أَوْ الصَّغِيرَةَ أَبْعَدُ الْأَوْلِيَاءِ فَإِنْ كَانَ الْأَقْرَبُ حَاضِرًا وَهُوَ مِنْ أَهْلِ الْوِلَايَةِ تَوَقَّفَ نِكَاحُ الْأَبْعَدِ عَلَى إجَازَتِهِ
Al-Fataawa Al-Hindiyyah (Daar Al-Fikr, https://shamela.ws) v.1 p.285
[5]
فَإِنَّ حَاصِلَهُ: أَنَّ الْمَرْأَةَ إذَا زَوَّجَتْ نَفْسَهَا مِنْ كُفْءٍ لَزِمَ عَلَى الْأَوْلِيَاءِ وَإِنْ زَوَّجَتْ مِنْ غَيْرِ كُفْءٍ لَا يَلْزَمُ
Radd Al-Muhtaar (Halabi ed., Daar Al-Fikr, https://shamela.ws) v.3 p.84
وَيُفْتَى) فِي غَيْرِ الْكُفْءِ
…
(بِعَدَمِ جَوَازِهِ أَصْلًا) وَهُوَ الْمُخْتَارُ لِلْفَتْوَى (لِفَسَادِ الزَّمَانِ)
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قَوْلُهُ بِعَدَمِ جَوَازِهِ أَصْلًا) هَذِهِ رِوَايَةُ الْحَسَنِ عَنْ أَبِي حَنِيفَةَ، وَهَذَا إذَا كَانَ لَهَا وَلِيٌّ لَمْ يَرْضَ بِهِ قَبْلَ الْعَقْدِ، فَلَا يُفِيدُ الرِّضَا بَعْدَهُ بَحْرٌ. وَأَمَّا إذَا لَمْ يَكُنْ لَهَا وَلِيٌّ فَهُوَ صَحِيحٌ نَافِذٌ مُطْلَقًا اتِّفَاقًا كَمَا يَأْتِي لِأَنَّ وَجْهَ عَدَمِ الصِّحَّةِ عَلَى هَذِهِ الرِّوَايَةِ دَفْعُ الضَّرَرِ عَنْ الْأَوْلِيَاءِ، أَمَّا هِيَ فَقَدْ رَضِيَتْ بِإِسْقَاطِ حَقِّهَا فَتْحٌ، وَقَوْلُ الْبَحْرِ: لَمْ يَرْضَ بِهِ يَشْمَلُ مَا إذَا لَمْ يَعْلَمْ أَصْلًا فَلَا يَلْزَمُ التَّصْرِيحُ بِعَدَمِ الرِّضَا بَلْ السُّكُوتُ مِنْهُ لَا يَكُونُ رِضًا كَمَا ذَكَرْنَاهُ فَلَا بُدَّ حِينَئِذٍ لِصِحَّةِ الْعَقْدِ مِنْ رِضَاهُ صَرِيحًا، وَعَلَيْهِ فَلَوْ سَكَتَ قَبْلَهُ ثُمَّ رَضِيَ بَعْدَهُ لَا يُفِيدُ فَلْيُتَأَمَّلْ (قَوْلُهُ وَهُوَ الْمُخْتَارُ لِلْفَتْوَى) وَقَالَ شَمْسُ الْأَئِمَّةِ وَهَذَا أَقْرَبُ إلَى الِاحْتِيَاطِ كَذَا فِي تَصْحِيحِ الْعَلَّامَةِ قَاسِمٍ لِأَنَّهُ لَيْسَ كُلُّ وَلِيٍّ يُحْسِنُ الْمُرَافَعَةَ وَالْخُصُومَةَ وَلَا كُلُّ قَاضٍ يَعْدِلُ، وَلَوْ أَحْسَنَ الْوَلِيُّ وَعَدَلَ الْقَاضِي فَقَدْ يَتْرُكُ أَنَفَةً لِلتَّرَدُّدِ عَلَى أَبْوَابِ الْحُكَّامِ، وَاسْتِثْقَالًا لِنَفْسِ الْخُصُومَاتِ فَيَتَقَرَّرُ الضَّرَرُ فَكَانَ مَنْعُهُ دَفْعًا لَهُ فَتْحٌ (قَوْلُهُ نَكَحَتْ) نَعْتٌ لِمُطَلَّقَةِ وَقَوْلُهُ بِلَا رِضَا مُتَعَلِّقٌ بِنَكَحْت وَقَوْلُهُ بَعْدَ ظَرْفٌ لِلرِّضَا، وَالضَّمِيرُ فِي مَعْرِفَتِهِ لِلْوَلِيِّ وَفِي إيَّاهُ لِغَيْرِ الْكُفْءِ، وَقَوْلُهُ بِلَا رِضًا نَفْيٌ مُنْصَبٌّ عَلَى الْمُقَيَّدِ الَّذِي هُوَ رِضَا الْوَلِيِّ وَالْقَيْدِ الَّذِي هُوَ بَعْدَ مَعْرِفَتِهِ إيَّاهُ فَيَصْدُقُ بِنَفْيِ الرِّضَا بَعْدَ الْمَعْرِفَةِ وَبِعَدَمِهَا وَبِوُجُودِ الرِّضَا مَعَ عَدَمِ الْمَعْرِفَةِ، فَفِي هَذِهِ الصُّوَرِ الثَّلَاثَةِ لَا تَحِلُّ وَإِنَّمَا تَحِلُّ فِي الصُّورَةِ الرَّابِعَةِ وَهُوَ رِضَا الْوَلِيِّ بِغَيْرِ الْكُفْءِ مَعَ عِلْمِهِ بِأَنَّهُ كَذَلِكَ اهـ ح.
قُلْت: وَالْأَنْسَبُ أَنْ يَقُولَ مَعَ عِلْمِهِ بِهِ عَيْنًا لِمَا فِي الْبَحْرِ: لَوْ قَالَ الْوَلِيُّ رَضِيت بِتَزَوُّجِهَا مِنْ غَيْرِ كُفْءٍ، وَلَمْ يَعْلَمْ بِالزَّوْجِ عَيْنًا هَلْ يَكْفِي صَارَتْ حَادِثَةَ الْفَتْوَى وَيَنْبَغِي لَا يَكْفِي لِأَنَّ الرِّضَا بِالْمَجْهُولِ لَا يَصِحُّ كَمَا ذَكَرَهُ فِي الْخَانِيَّةِ فِيمَا إذَا اسْتَأْذَنَهَا الْوَلِيُّ وَلَمْ يُسَمِّ الزَّوْجَ فَقَالَ لِأَنَّ الرِّضَا بِالْمَجْهُولِ لَا يَتَحَقَّقُ وَلَمْ أَرَهُ مَنْقُولًا اهـ. وَأَقَرَّهُ فِي النَّهْرِ لَكِنْ لَيْسَ عَلَى عُمُومِهِ لِمَا سَيَأْتِي فِي كَلَامِ الشَّارِحِ أَنَّهَا لَوْ فَوَّضَتْ الْأَمْرَ إلَيْهِ يَصِحُّ كَقَوْلِهَا زَوِّجْنِي مِمَّنْ تَخْتَارُهُ وَنَحْوُهُ. قَالَ الْخَيْرُ الرَّمْلِيُّ: وَمُقْتَضَاهُ أَنَّ الْوَلِيَّ لَوْ قَالَ لَهَا أَنَا رَاضٍ بِمَا تَفْعَلِينَ أَوْ زَوِّجِي نَفْسَك مِمَّنْ تَخْتَارِينَ وَنَحْوُهُ أَنَّهُ يَكْفِي وَهُوَ ظَاهِرٌ لِأَنَّهُ فَوَّضَ الْأَمْرَ إلَيْهَا وَلِأَنَّهُ مِنْ بَابِ الْإِسْقَاطِ
Radd Al-Muhtaar (Halabi ed., Daar Al-Fikr, https://shamela.ws) v.3 p.56-57
ثُمَّ الْمَرْأَةُ إذَا زَوَّجَتْ نَفْسَهَا مِنْ غَيْرِ كُفْءٍ صَحَّ النِّكَاحُ فِي ظَاهِرِ الرِّوَايَةِ عَنْ أَبِي حَنِيفَةَ – رَحِمَهُ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى – وَهُوَ قَوْلُ أَبِي يُوسُفَ – رَحِمَهُ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى – آخِرًا وَقَوْلُ مُحَمَّدٍ – رَحِمَهُ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى – آخِرًا أَيْضًا حَتَّى أَنَّ قَبْلَ التَّفْرِيقِ يَثْبُتُ فِيهِ حُكْمُ الطَّلَاقِ وَالظِّهَارِ وَالْإِيلَاءِ وَالتَّوَارُثِ وَغَيْرِ ذَلِكَ وَلَكِنْ لِلْأَوْلِيَاءِ حَقُّ الِاعْتِرَاضِ وَرَوَى الْحَسَنُ عَنْ أَبِي حَنِيفَةَ – رَحِمَهُ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى – أَنَّ النِّكَاحَ لَا يَنْعَقِدُ وَبِهِ أَخَذَ كَثِيرٌ مِنْ مَشَايِخِنَا رَحِمَهُمْ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى، كَذَا فِي الْمُحِيطِ وَالْمُخْتَارُ فِي زَمَانِنَا لِلْفَتْوَى رِوَايَةُ الْحَسَنِ وَقَالَ الشَّيْخُ الْإِمَامُ شَمْسُ الْأَئِمَّةِ السَّرَخْسِيُّ رِوَايَةُ الْحَسَنِ أَقْرَبُ إلَى الِاحْتِيَاطِ، كَذَا فِي فَتَاوَى قَاضِي خَانْ فِي فَصْلِ شَرَائِطِ النِّكَاحِ وَفِي الْبَزَّازِيَّةِ ذَكَرَ بُرْهَانُ الْأَئِمَّةِ أَنَّ الْفَتْوَى فِي جَوَازِ النِّكَاحِ بِكْرًا كَانَتْ أَوْ ثَيِّبًا عَلَى قَوْلِ الْإِمَامِ الْأَعْظَمِ وَهَذَا إذَا كَانَ لَهَا وَلِيٌّ
Al-Fataawa Al-Hindiyyah (Daar Al-Fikr, https://shamela.ws) v.1 p.292
وَأَمَّا وِلَايَةُ النَّدْبِ وَالِاسْتِحْبَابِ فَهِيَ: الْوِلَايَةُ عَلَى الْحُرَّةِ الْبَالِغَةِ الْعَاقِلَةِ بِكْرًا كَانَتْ أَوْ ثَيِّبًا
Badaai’ Al-Sanaai’ (Daar Al-Kutub Al-‘Ilmiyyah, https://shamela.ws) v.2 p.247
الْبَابُ الْخَامِسُ فِي الْأَكْفَاءِ) الْكَفَاءَةُ مُعْتَبَرَةٌ فِي الرِّجَالِ لِلنِّسَاءِ لِلُزُومِ النِّكَاحِ
…
مِنْهَا النَّسَبُ
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وَمِنْهَا إسْلَامُ الْآبَاءِ
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وَمِنْهَا الْكَفَاءَةُ فِي الْمَالِ) وَهُوَ أَنْ يَكُونَ مَالِكًا لِلْمَهْرِ وَالنَّفَقَةِ وَهُوَ الْمُعْتَبَرُ فِي ظَاهِرِ الرِّوَايَةِ حَتَّى أَنَّ مَنْ لَا يَمْلِكُهُمَا أَوْ لَا يَمْلِكُ أَحَدَهُمَا لَا يَكُونُ كُفْئًا
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وَمِنْهَا الدَّيَّانَةُ) تُعْتَبَرُ الْكَفَاءَةُ فِي الدَّيَّانَةِ وَهَذَا قَوْلُ أَبِي حَنِيفَةَ وَأَبِي يُوسُفَ – رَحِمَهُمَا اللَّهُ تَعَالَى – وَهُوَ الصَّحِيحُ، كَذَا فِي الْهِدَايَةِ فَلَا يَكُونُ الْفَاسِقُ كُفْئًا لِلصَّالِحَةِ، كَذَا فِي الْمَجْمَعِ سَوَاءٌ كَانَ مُعْلَنَ الْفِسْقِ أَوْ لَمْ يَكُنْ، كَذَا فِي الْمُحِيطِ
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وَمِنْهَا الْحِرْفَةُ)
Al-Fataawa Al-Hindiyyah (Daar Al-Fikr, https://shamela.ws) v.1 p.290-291